Life, Once Again!

After Story 109

Jungah looked down at her hands. Her hands were clasped neatly and placed right below her belly button. She couldn’t utter a word as though she was being rebuked by her professor.

“I felt really proud when I saw everyone perform the play with confidence. Ah, you must have prepared a lot and have practiced well enough to act without embarrassing yourselves in front of the audience. But what’s this? Had you told me that you were not fully prepared yet, that you weren’t good enough to respond to accidental events, or just that you were going to practice, I wouldn’t be this flabbergasted,” Maru said as he looked up at the stage.

Jungah felt bitter inside. Maru’s rebuke made it clear that it was not just a problem with the actors on stage. He, who had a warm smile on his face until just twenty minutes ago, was scanning the stage and the actors on it with feelings of tragedy, as though he was more angry and flabbergasted than anyone else here.

He was just two years older than her. If a senior at her college acted like that, she would have accepted it, but she would have still retorted. She would have said that this wasn’t a proper stage and that while they were doing it properly, this was still closer to a practice run.

However, looking at Maru’s face, it was hard to even budge her lips.

There was no pretense in his words at all. Every single word that came out of his mouth contained his genuine feelings. He was even more disappointed than her friends who had prepared for this play with her. How could she possibly make an excuse to a person like that?

Jungah clenched her mouth shut strongly enough for her lips to tremble.

If they had any shame, they wouldn’t be able to respond. Her friends on stage should also be listening quietly because they felt the same as her.

Also, Maru’s cold attitude felt a little scary as well. She didn’t realize this when he was smiling, but he actually gave off a sharp impression when he stiffened up. Her friends, who were receiving that gaze straight on, must be feeling scared out of their wits.

Her hands were feeling sweaty despite listening from the side, so they must have had it worse.

“Sorry,” Sinhye said.

Maru sighed and shook his head.

“Is this the time to apologize? I thought you wanted to perform? The stage was prepared so well, but the people going on it are in terrible shape… I can’t believe it. Honestly, your acting was okay. I was thinking that you were doing great considering that you’re doing this on top of your college studies and preparing the stage. But this isn’t right. What’s good about polishing the outside? The inside is crumbling apart.”

Maru rubbed his hands before stroking down his face.

“You don’t want to listen to bitter words, do you? I’m sure you don’t like me rebuking you when I’m around the same age as you. I don’t plan to waste my energy to rebuke all of you either. What I said just now was an expression of my disappointment. Miss Jungah,” Maru called out to her.

Jungah flinched and responded.

“You have the script with you?”

“Yes.”

“Give it to me. What more should I say? I’ll just write down a couple of points that I think would look better if you fix them. You can practice with that, refer to it, or do whatever you want with it.”

“Uhm….”

“You all are actors too, aren’t you? You have your pride, don’t you? Don’t listen to some random person chatting away in front of you and just practice like you’re doing now. Just, don’t make a mistake during the real run. No, you can make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. Just don’t let the audience find out that you did; don’t stop the play just because of a mistake. That’s minimum respect. It’s also one of the most fundamental things you must keep as an actor.”

Maru plainly held out his hand. He looked like he would really just walk out after writing down a few things on the script if she handed it to him.

Jungah looked at the stage. She needed the opinion of her friends. There must be some who might not like Maru’s attitude.

Albeit only in name, she was the producer of this play. It was up to her to gather their opinion and tune them. If an outsider was creating conflict amongst the actors, she had to decide:

Either send Maru home or persuade her friends.

“Er, senior. Can you give us some time to talk?”

“You need time?”

“Yes. We’ll be done in no time.”

Maru glanced at the stage before nodding. Jungah quickly went up on the stage. She grabbed Joohwan, who was half out of it, and gathered her friends around.

“Before I listen to your opinion, I will speak mine first,” Jungah firmly said to her friends. “I think that we must learn from senior Maru. I felt a lot of things after listening to his words just now. He might be similar to us in terms of age, but he’s different. I’m not sure if he was born with that or learned it through experience, but I believe that there are things we can learn from him. It’s not just about the technical aspect. I think it’s a good opportunity to listen to what attitude an actor must have.”

She let out a short breath before speaking again,

“What do you all think?”

At that moment, Joohwan turned around suddenly and rushed down the stage.

Surprised, she called out to him, but he was already in front of Maru.

“Hey, gosh….” Sinhye frowned. The others looked like they were screwed as well.

Jungah quickly went down the stairs. She had watched Joohwan by his side for five years. Although he neither had a terrible personality nor was a psychopath, there were times when she thought that he lacked sympathy. She believed that to have stemmed from his innate talent.

Joohwan and Sinhye — although these two were closer than anyone else after practice, they were archenemies on stage. No, it was Joohwan who one-sidedly avoided her, saying that he didn’t like Sinhye’s acting.

“Didn’t like” was a nice way of putting it since the two of them were on close terms. Had it been anyone else, he would have just told them that they were bad.

That same person stood in front of Maru with a stiff expression without any time for her to hold him back. She couldn’t begin to imagine what he would say.

It would be over the moment he said something offensive to Maru, which the man known as Joohwan was definitely capable of. The fact that they didn’t have any seniors older than them here was also one of the tragedies caused by Joohwan after all.

He wasn’t a bad kid, but he was way too direct with his words. No wait, maybe that was called being bad?

“Senior.” Jungah stood next to Joohwan, her hands fidgeting.

She spoke, so she could no longer return. She had a glance at Joohwan’s expression. He looked more expressionless than ever.

Just as she thought that it was all over, Joohwan grabbed his pants and bowed.

Jungah was more surprised than when Maru got angry. She had never seen this before. She had been with him for five years, but this was the first time he had apologized to anyone in person. After all, he never did something that would warrant an apology; he was good at everything.

Joohwan was the type to bite back at anyone, whether it be a senior or a teacher if someone attacked him.

Yet, such a guy, who never batted an eyelid while being rebuked by his professors and pointed out their mistakes, was bowing.

Jungah looked behind her. The people on stage looked surprised as well. Sinhye’s expression was closer to that of shock.

“I was short-sighted. I just wanted to show you my cool side. I wanted to show you that I could do something other than just what I showed in Water Fog.”

“And?” Maru asked back.

“When I had that thought, I didn’t like the situation I was in. I could do more, but my counterpart couldn’t keep up with me, so I was frustrated. That’s why I stopped.”

“Are you saying you’re not at fault?”

“No, it’s not that.” Joohwan scratched his head. His lips twitched before sighing.

“Honestly, I don’t get it. It was much easier when I was doing it by myself. I could get down to the bottom of myself. But I can’t do that when I’m acting with others.”

“You did well during Water Fog. Even when acting with someone else.”

“That’s why I’m even more confused.”

“You were in the acting club during high school, correct?”

“Yes.”

“How was it back then?”

“I felt like I was acting by myself. I got a lot of awards as well. I definitely wasn’t bad.”

“I’m sure you were. You’re good. I don’t plan to deny that. You’re a talented guy. I’m sure you’ll distinguish yourself in the film industry in due time.”

Maru stood up from his seat. Jungah kept rolling her head in order to keep up with the conversation. For now, it seemed that Maru’s anger had subsided to an extent. That relieved her.

“But you know, unless you’re doing a monodrama, you have to exchange your emotions with other people.”

“I know.”

“No, you do not know. You only know how to put forward your own emotions. Pushing your feelings onto others is not the key. Sometimes, you need to learn to accept it.”

Maru crossed his arms and looked at the actors on the stage.

“Can you give me some time? If you are willing to, that is.”

Jungah looked at her friends. They all looked like they were gladly willing to.

“Please,” Jungah said wholeheartedly.

Right now, they were desperate for Maru’s help. That was easy enough to see from Joohwan’s attitude alone.

They needed not anyone else, but Maru specifically.

“Then allow me to borrow everyone’s time for a little.”

Maru stepped on stage.

* * *

Sinhye smiled and looked at Maru in front of her. His eyes looked extraordinary as he scanned the script. He was so scary and frightening that it gave her stomach cramps when he rebuked them, but now, the atmosphere was warm just like when they first greeted each other.

They say the more a person smiles, the scarier they are when they get angry, and Maru seemed to fit that description to the tee.

She then looked at Joohwan, who had gone down from the stage and was sitting down on a seat. The thought that he deserved it only lasted a moment. Right now, she pitied him.

It was just as she was looking at Joohwan, who looked like a drenched, dejected dog,

“Miss Sinhye,” Maru called out to her.

“Yes.”

“How did you do this part with Joohwan?” Maru asked as he pointed at the script.

It was the scene where the woman was snapping and lashing out due to her husband’s cheating. It was also the scene where Joohwan stopped the play.

“I just brought out my emotions when acting. Joohwan is pretending to be wronged while hiding his heart, while I’m swearing and prying him, feeling like the world is falling apart.”

“Can you do it once?” Maru said as he put down the script.

Sinhye got into the emotion immediately. She had been nervous ever since Maru said that they should get themselves together if they were on the stage. Thanks to that, it was easier to get into the mood.

“You cheated on me, didn’t you?”

“No.”

Maru responded. There were no emotions in it.

“Look at me in the eyes when you say that.”

“I said no.”

Sinhye brought out the vexation boiling deep within her body in one go.

“It’s you who’s out of your mind. I was an idiot for believing that men would stop cheating after getting married.”

Maru nodded.

“When you acted back then, did you just say your lines like this?”

“Yes.”

“Because that was how the script was?”

“That too, but we thought that expressing it through words is better than expressing it through violent actions.”

“Whose opinion was that?”

Whose was it again? Sinhye combed through her memories. It might have been Joohwan, but it also felt like it might have been Jungah.

“I don’t remember who, but I thought that it was the right way and decided to go with it.”

“Then shall we do that again? This time, I’ll act along with you.”

“Yes.”

“And also, let me ask you to do one thing before we start.”

“What is it?”

“Throw it all out.”

“What?”

“It’s okay if you let out a little more. It feels like you can do more but you’re stopping yourself on purpose.”

“I’m expressing as much as possible.”

“Then let’s just start. If you feel anything while doing it, then try going with the flow.”

Sinhye nodded. She didn’t know what this was about, but there was no reason she couldn’t do it when she was asked to.

She calmed her breathing and looked in front of her. Maru slightly pulled his chin inward. It was his signal to start.

“You’re coming home now?”

“I’m late due to work. What now?” Maru said as he pushed his face closer to her.

He was quite close, to the point that she could see her own reflection through Maru’s eyes.

Sinhye’s lips twitched as she continued her line.

“You were late because of work?”

“Woman, you’re asking the same thing again. What kind of nonsense are you going to utter to ruin your husband’s mood?”

“You can speak, for being a sinner.”

“Sinner? Me?”

Maru smirked and pushed her on the shoulder with a tap. It wasn’t even that big of a gesture. However, she felt really dirty. She knew that it was just an act, but she was ticked off by those mocking eyes.

Sinhye let out the chuckle that was tickling her throat — Ha.

It wasn’t in the script, but it came out naturally. Her nerves were on edge, and her vision narrowed. She could only see Maru’s face in her vision now.

“You cheated on me, didn’t you?”

Sinhye took a step forward. As there was no predetermined movement route they decided on beforehand, she just let her emotions lead her body.

Maru’s eyes shook side to side before going down to the floor. It was dead obvious that he was lying. It was the stereotypical face of someone trying to lie.

“No,” Maru said.

His words ticked her off.

Anger got to the top of her head. The emotions she set reached the wall known as Maru and returned to her like an echo. A bigger amplitude of emotions brushed past her body. The back of her neck felt strained.

She reached out her hand at this husband’s dastardly attitude. Her mouth couldn’t do all the uttering of her vexation and her hand had to chime in.

It wasn’t something she intended. Just as Maru said, she just went with the flow.

“You’re the one who’s out of your mind. I was the idiot for believing that men wouldn’t cheat after getting married! Gosh!”

Some spittle got on Maru’s face. Maru’s face twitched with rage and disgust before a smile appeared on his face.

“Miss Sinhye. You’re good after all.”

She stood in a daze before screaming.

“Oh my god. I got spit on you! What do I do!”

She caused a fuss, asking others for some tissue.