Life, Once Again!

After Story 230

“No, I shall see him today. I have to get word from him. Only then will there be a possibility of winning for us.”

Geunsoo stood up. He let out a soft sigh with his pale lips. His body had deteriorated, but his eyes were full of vitality. The biggest charm of the actor known as Hong Geunsoo was probably those eyes. The windows to emotions and impressions were stronger than a hundred words.

His body may have broken down a lot, but his eyes had not changed from before. Geunsoo expressed too well what kind of character lord big boss was.

“If ye go now, he’ll happily slash yer neck,” Maru said.

Goonghun paid attention to Maru’s lips. Fury, forfeit, and an unwilling smile all crossed each other in a complicated fashion.

If lord big boss was a character that spoke with his eyes, Dooho was someone who used his mouth to genuinely portray everything. He was unable to hide what he was thinking on the inside; everything showed up on his lips. Maru also understood the character Dooho very deeply.

“If I die, there are many things to benefit from. My life is worth that much. At least, that man will take the Red Tiger Troops under his wing. Bide your time under him. Going against the heavens is something that can happen anytime as long as the one that harbors the cause is alive.”

“Don’t ye give me that nonsense!”

Maru stood up and swung his arm. The map on top of the table as well as the wooden pieces indicating the important figures on it scattered into the air.

Geunsoo looked at the map falling to the ground with bitter eyes.

“The reason I said I’m willing to go through hell’n back is because it’s you. The reason I said I can happily offer up my life is cuz you are behind me.”

“Dooho.”

“Yeah, sure. Yer smart, lord, so that must be the right answer. But I can’t follow you this time.”

“Only if I die will the Red Tiger Troops survive. No, I am not dying. You all will succeed my will, so that is not death. A man is not made of flesh and blood. He is made of his will and the cause to….”

“It’s over when people die! I may be a goddamn fool, but I still know that much!”

“There are times when you must not cling onto life, but die for the sake of the greater cause, nay, the will of the people. I am sure you know what this means since you’ve been by my side for the longest time.”

Maru stood up from his seat. There was a rope in his hands.

“Dooho.” Geunsoo frowned. Fury radiated from his eyes.

“I’m gonna be rude fer a while, so bear with me.”

Maru tied Geunsoo’s arms with the rope. Geunsoo struggled with his whole body, but it was of no use as his body was not in great shape.

Goonghun looked at Geunsoo who shouted while glaring at Dooho. He struggled hard with his teeth clenched. When he wrote this scene, he decided to let the actors decide how it should go. He didn’t have the confidence to write better lines than the improvisations that two actors at the peak of their emotions would say. He did make guidelines since he had to write the script, but he also told them during the rehearsal that they shouldn’t focus on the lines too much.

The result was shown right in front of his eyes. Geunsoo and Maru were showing exceptional emotions and saying lines suitable for the historical background and the situation at hand.

“Please hold on fer a while. Once the sun rises, my men will find you.”

“Dooho, Dooho!”

Geunsoo twisted his body with his arms and legs tied. Maru used both of his arms to suppress Geunsoo rampaging on the small makeshift bed.

“Ye told me before, eh? People are not made of flesh and blood. Yer right about that. They’re made of something much more important than lumps of blood and flesh.”

Maru slowly took off his clothes. Instead of tight-fitting clothes, he put on loose-fitting clothes that were easier to move in.

Goonghun looked at Geunsoo’s expression. His rage was gradually turning into intense sadness. The eyes that were aglare with fury had already turned red.

Maru put on the belt. His outfit was of the same style as lord big boss.

“No, you can’t do this, Dooho.”

After all the emotions left him, the only thing remaining behind was a plea. Geunsoo tearfully begged Maru to stop. He begged him to come back.

* * *

God definitely exists. He didn’t know whether the one he saw was the sole God or one of many, but it was the definite truth that god exists.

“Don’t do this to me, Dooho.”

Maru looked at Geunsoo who was crying right in front of him. That person must be looked after by the god of acting. How else would it be possible to act like that?

The moment Dooho, someone who was basically his brother at this point, said that he was going to die in his stead, lord big boss cried in grief when he had never cried before.

Hong Geunsoo had disappeared, and the only one left was lord big boss. The eyes that contained fury sank into sadness after foreseeing the death of his brother. There was no loud voice that commanded his soldiers, only the desperate pleading of a weak man.

Just looking at him made something warm rise up in his chest. His eyes automatically felt hot. Geunsoo’s acting was so good that it influenced the emotions of the actors around him.

Maru felt like he was helplessly watching a typhoon approach him. A pathetic man could only try to run away, despite being incomparably slower, only to get swallowed up in the storm. Wave after wave of emotions overwhelmed him. That acting was really ruthless.

If he were to react moderately, it would look like a pathetic reaction. He could imagine the director shouting cut in dissatisfaction.

He was really stuck in a tight spot. The person that was acting in front of him was practically a monster, a huge monster who poured out emotion after emotion. It was a difficult task to counteract that to create a suitable scene.

It was even harder because the person looked like a real-life figure, not an imaginary figure created by a script.

He felt like no matter what he did, his actions would look dim in comparison to Geunsoo who was in front of him, just like how lies would be totally useless in front of the truth. He even felt quite tragic as an actor.

He had lived an incomparably long life that couldn’t be described in words or written in the form of a book. While he had never become conceited, he never thought that he was bad at acting.

However, he felt slightly sad when he looked at Geunsoo pouring out emotions in the outfit of lord big boss.

So that is the difference in talent that no amount of time could make up for — this filled his mind.

Just like how it was difficult to win against a boxer of a different weight class no matter how one polished their techniques, Geunsoo possessed something that couldn’t be obtained by time. As a person, he felt jealous. Any actor looking at Geunsoo right now would be impressed, but at the same time, regretful.

Knowing it is not as good as loving it; loving it is not as good as delighting in it. People of the modern day interpreted ‘knowing it’ as ‘a genius’ and took Confucious’ words as a method to win against a genius.

Whenever he listened to those words that Confucious said, he asked himself: then how am I to win against a genius who delights in it?

“That man does not know how ye look, lord. There was never a wanted portrait of you, so not many people know how ye look either. Thank god for that.”

“I must be the one to die! I must be the one to go!”

Geunsoo’s eyes became bloodshot. The storm of emotions once again overwhelmed Maru’s body. It would be much easier to ride on the wave and say his lines according to Geunsoo’s emotions. That should be sufficient for the movie as well.

He had that urge several times. He whispered to himself that it would be much easier to just let his body go rather than going against it and being overwhelmed by a sense of shame; that he should not go against the roaring genius in front of him and take it easy.

“Lord, take yer time. I’ll be going ahead.”

“No, you can’t do this. Dooho!”

Maru looked straight at Geunsoo who cried in desperation. A little hummingbird could not walk at the same pace as a stork; trying to do so would only result in their legs ripping. No matter how hard he tried and endured the pain, the distance between him and a genius would continue to widen.

Maru bowed to Geunsoo. It must be hard to catch up. It must look insufficient. Despite that, his method was to not stop.

That was the tenacity and persistence that Maru had obtained throughout his numerous lives, as well as his attitude toward life.

Sure, the hummingbird might never catch up to the stork. The stork might get far ahead while he was on the ground gasping for breath, but Maru was too used to facing unreasonable situations like that. So, he decided to take one more step in the time he had to grumble.

The gap would probably never shorten. He would probably live his whole life looking at a wall he could not surpass, a back he could not catch up to.

However, on the day all journeys come to an end, the hummingbird would rest with a smile. If lucky, he might get to touch the back of the genius too.

“Don’t regret. Don’t think that this is yer fault. This is strictly my will. Today’s the first day this fool is going against ya, so ye should smile.”

He once again said goodbye to Geunsoo, who hoarsely responded in a groan, and turned around. There was no intense action in this scene, but his legs were shaking. It was really exhausting to keep up with emotions, not movements.

Maru turned around to look at Geunsoo, with the emotions of Dooho. The picture he had in his head beforehand was a Dooho who left indifferently after saying goodbye. However, the air in the set and the emotions that Geunsoo transmitted to him caused a swirl of emotions inside him.

He frowned and put on an expression that looked as though he was about to cry. He had already cried a little on the inside. He felt like it would be satisfactory to end it just like this, but he decided to take one step further.

He barely managed to order his facial muscles that were about to go out of control, to smile.

He didn’t know what kind of expression he was making right now. However, he could say with confidence that this was his best.

He did not get swayed by Geunsoo’s acting and put a spoonful of his own emotions on top of it to express what was his.

He clawed together his emotions and turned around. Geunsoo’s groaning voice climbed up his feet.

He started walking with difficulty and went outside. He could see the expressions of the staff in front of him. They were all looking at him in a daze. Although he was outside the camera frame now, he couldn’t wrap up his emotions.

Maru sat on the ground and rubbed his face dryly. Geunsoo was still acting.

After this master shot, they would divide up the cuts and shoot the same scene again. He had to look back at the acting he just did and prepare.

A bottle of water appeared in front of him. It was Yeonjin. He had his thumbs up and looked all excited with his mouth still shut.

Only after seeing his manager was Maru relieved. At least, it seemed he didn’t do terribly.

“Okay,” director Nam said in a very small voice.

The shooting location, which would usually become noisy in no time, was still quiet.

Only after someone’s sigh was heard did director Nam clap loudly.

“This is it, this… is it. This is good.”

Maru tilted his head back and let out the breath he was holding back. The minute trembling that started from his hand climbed up all the way to his chin.

He quickly opened the bottle of water to drink. His head felt numb. His scalding-hot body cooled down in no time.

“Hyung, was I okay?” he asked Yeonjin.

“You should have a look at it later. It’s not just okay, it was really…”

Yeonjin opened and closed his mouth for a while but just eventually told him to watch it himself.

Maru stood up and went to the monitor. The scripter that always talked to him first was staring at him.

“What is it?”

“I knew you were good, but you feel different today. It was good, really good.”

Geunsoo, who had been laying down, also stood in front of the monitor. Geunsoo looked at him without a word before raising his thumb up with a smile.

“Well, have a look first. But are you two sure you can pull this off again?”

The director smiled and played back the video. Maru looked at the whole thing from beginning to end without taking his eyes off.

The moment the screen stopped, he could say with a smile.

“It’s good.”

No other words were necessary to describe that acting.