Life, Once Again!

Chapter 1022. Han Haneul

It was an amazing change. My husband came to me. It was for a brief moment in the realm of the subconscious, but he managed to cross an unsurpassable wall and came to me. Just like when he gently held my hand when I was giving birth, he wrapped his hands around my rabbit form and told me that he would save me this time. The warmth that my time took away from me was returned to me by him. I felt a little relieved as I saw him smile at me, telling me to feel at ease. Yes, I started this game because I had faith in that person.

But even that lasted for only an instant. My husband’s memories were slowly being erased. Starting from the memories of when he was forty-five, things started disappearing one by one. Even the enlightenment that he barely managed to gain seemed to become faint in the face of blurring memories. He, who desperately struggled to not lose his memories, eventually even forgot that he was even losing memories. God’s doings were merciless. It did not leave behind a single possibility. Just how much more cruel could this be?

There was nothing I could do for him. The masked man was the same. He guided my husband to reach enlightenment and successfully finished his duty. He had done everything he could.

“Is this how it ends? Is this how empty this is going to be?”

The masked man, who became my conversation partner, approached my husband, saying that he would make one last gamble. Gamble; it was a word that my husband and the masked man, i.e. Han Maru, stayed away from the most. However, it seemed that gambling was the only way out of this hopeless situation.

The masked man and my husband conversed. My husband had long since forgotten that he had died at forty-five and that he had even gotten married. He also failed to recall that the masked man was another Han Maru. The longer the conversation continued, the thicker the despair became. At this rate, my husband would return to being an ordinary high school student, and Han Haneul would inevitably be his marriage partner. So, even the last life was just a meaningless struggle within the net cast by God?

Just as every last strand of hope was being snapped off, I saw the world below stop. The masked man also seemed to have felt it and was very surprised. It was my husband who put a stop to the world that was following the flow. A crack appeared in the domain of time that harbored God’s intent. It was a force so insignificant that it could not change the giant flow, however, it was enough to return an individual’s memories.

My husband’s memories, scattered like shattered glass on the floor, started flowing into his head. That was definitely a miracle, the very thing that God told me about that even he could not predict. My husband had finally sparked a fire of counterattack with his tenacity.

My hopes rose. My husband did not miss a clue and continued to deduce the mystery. He would soon find out where the reincarnation all started. He might not reach the clear truth, but he should be able to grasp a vague outline. Eventually, he managed to reach one conclusion: there may be multiple variables, but the biggest one should be meeting Han Haneul.

The story started going in the direction I wanted. However, I could not yet feel at ease. Having regained his memories, my husband started loving Han Haneul even more than before. It was likely that he would choose to get married even while knowing that the reincarnation would never end.

It was time for me to move. I approached Han Haneul and whispered to her: that she should put some distance between herself and Han Maru. At first, she didn’t even listen. That was natural. Han Haneul loved him just as he did her.

I cooked up some words. I knew Han Haneul better than anyone else. I did not tell her to just put some distance between them. I told her that they should have some time on their own. My words also touched on Han Haneul’s pride. Han Haneul was feeling rather disappointed in herself as she watched him consolidate his foundations as an actor. I stimulated her desire to stand at the same height as her loved one. My words that they should each have some time for the development of both should have sounded tempting to her.

Eventually, Han Haneul told my husband that they should keep some distance for a while. I watched my husband’s response. It would all be for naught if he actively refuted her words. Fortunately, he listened to Han Haneul’s opinion. It was his way of respect for her, as well as an attempt to cut off the cycle.

It was here that I realized that my husband was thinking about parting.

The two of them became distant after graduating high school. Han Haneul was still arduously studying, imagining the day she would meet him again, while my husband fought against agony in his attempt to shake off the memories he had with her. I clenched my teeth as I watched him. For the sake of his loved one, he had to part from her.

It took a long time for my husband to tell her about breaking up. It was when Han Haneul was riding on the path of success thanks to a drama. He notified her of the breakup while also telling her that he was entering the military. It might have been a sudden parting for Han Haneul, but as someone who watched from above, I knew how agonized he was until he mustered up the courage to break up.

While Han Haneul spent night after night crying, my husband honed his mind in the military. I desperately prayed that he did not choose to commit something extreme. Even as I prayed, I realized that it was meaningless when I thought about God’s voice, but there was nothing else I could do.

Time passed by. Han Haneul consolidated her position as an actress, while my husband also got discharged after collecting his mind. Any contact between the two had disappeared. My husband did not intentionally contact Han Haneul, and Han Haneul was unable to press the numbers because of her regret and apologetic feelings.

It was finally a future where the two of them did not get connected. The world didn’t change drastically, but the fate of a man did. I believed that the two of them would walk their separate paths.

Han Haneul would meet an unknown man, fall in love, have a baby, and become old like that. Perhaps she would become against marriage. Even then, she should forget him.

I looked at my husband. Having finished a passionate act on stage, he looked rather empty as he walked down the stage. He had made the right choice. It might be difficult for him, but he should be able to see that the correct answer was to live on without meeting me the day he reaches forty-six. I hoped that he would forget about Han Haneul and meet a better person.

However, fate wasn’t so easy.

“Let me ask you just one thing. Do you like me? Or hate me?”

Han Haneul said those words. Then, she left a deep kiss mark on her palm and imprinted it on his forehead. I was shocked. The world that had escaped its predetermined conclusion had returned to its original track. Not only that, it was at the hands of Han Haneul too.

My husband decided to be with Han Haneul, even if that meant falling into an eternity of reincarnations. He came to the conclusion that spending time with the woman he loves was more precious than the pain of his soul being ripped apart. It was a touching moment, yet also a moment that drove me into the pits of despair. The gravity known as fate was dragging the two of them down to the depths of hell with more strength than at any other time. It felt like the conclusion of the two of them parting had disappeared completely.

It was around that time that Kang Giwoo entered my eyes. I usually didn’t care about him, but I had no choice but to glare at him now. Fate was predetermined. The car that Kang Giwoo was driving would head towards my husband. No one could stop that.

Now, Han Haneul didn’t even listen to me. My husband told me that he would save me, but I knew that it was impossible. This life had already happened before, and this life was different from the other reincarnations. It was the last time. There were no more opportunities. My husband would die, and I would lose my memories and live as the Han Haneul down there, until the end of my life in the world of sorrow where my husband had died in a car crash.

The world flowed on as if it didn’t care for the frustration in my heart. Numerous events created a deep gorge between Kang Giwoo and my husband. Everything was repeated. Ultimately, nothing had changed.

Before the accident happened, my husband realized how to end this game. He started thinking about death. It was the worst. That thought had taken root, so everything was over. Now, as long as Kang Giwoo appeared in a car, he would choose to not dodge. He would push Han Haneul aside and allow his body to get into the accident, accepting that it was his fate.

I watched my husband and Han Haneul with empty eyes. The two of them were leaving my mom’s studio. Today was the day my husband would get involved in a car crash.

The masked man came to my side. He gently held my hand. I sobbed as I looked at him. He must have had it hard, just as much as my husband, or perhaps even more. He kept watching with the memories intact after all. He was in a similar situation to me.

“This is no good. I can’t end it like this.”

I hugged him. I didn’t want to send him away. The moment my husband died in a car crash, this world will end. My husband in reality would die, and the masked man would be erased. I did not want to live by myself in a world where nothing remained behind.

“If you don’t have any chips when gambling, you should be bluffing.”

He took off the mask. At the same time, God’s voice could be heard,

-Is there anything you want to say?

“You are someone who places importance on rules.”

-I don’t take them lightly for sure.

“In a moment, the Han Maru down there will die.”

-Yes, that will happen.

He scratched his eyebrows. It was a habit that I hadn’t seen him do for a long time.

“I think that’s a little unfair.”

-Unfair?

“I did not participate in this game of my own will. I just somehow ended up joining this game. And I’m an independent being from the person living down there. Also, I’m the result of the continued pains of an individual, not the result of a contract like Ms. Han Haneul over here. Isn’t that right?”

God’s laughter could be heard.

-That’s definitely true.

“That laughter must mean that you know what I’m about to say, right?”

-I am not omnipotent nor omniscient, but I’m quite good. Also, I have waited for this moment to arrive, for someone that appeared outside of my cognition to say something beyond my expectations.

“But you already foresaw this.”

-That halved the fun, but it doesn’t matter. I enjoyed it more than enough.

He stood in front of me and spoke,

“Price and compensation. The value of life is one life. God, can you save the life of the man dying below with my own?”