Chapter 1490 Mirror Of His True Self.
Feng Shufen's eyes went coldly sharp. Turning his gaze into a glare, he narrowed his eyes and stood from the chair and walked to her. "Stubborn? Am I being stubborn here?" 𝙗𝙚𝙙𝙣𝒐𝙫𝙚𝙡.𝙤𝙧𝒈
He asked and it would be a great lie if Li Xue would say that she didn't get scared of the change of aura he held at that moment. If she hadn't known him and his concerns, she would have almost thought that he would hurt her the next moment. But then again, she knew that he would never ever do anything to hurt her, let alone talk about harming her.
And with that confidence, she stood straight in front of him. Staring into his eyes, she nodded, "You don't think so? Because from where I am seeing Mr. Beelzebub, I feel you are getting stubborn over your resentments. And only when you let go those resentments, you will be able to set yourself free."
She said and her words made Feng Shufen's eyes grow darker. "And for whom have I kept all these resentments? Hmm? Tell me what's the reason behind it?" He said as his fingers curled hard on her arms, taking her in his grip.
Li Xue felt the slight sting but he was feeling the pain more than her. "I know you feel the pain for me. That you resent her because she hurt me. But I have already decided to forgive her. If I can let go of all my resentments, why can't you? Mr. Beelzebub, I …"
Before she could complete it, he interjected through gritted teeth. "I can't because I am not as forgiving as you. I am not." He said and Li Xue's pupils dilated as he pushed her harsh enough to hold his guilt in heart from hurting her. "I can forgive and let go of what she did to you. The pain and insult she forced you into. I can't forget that she forced you into what you are today. I can never forget that and forgive her."
He said and behind his words his grief was real. His heart was still clenching for her pains and Li Xue could easily feel it through his words and see it by how his fingers were clenched. She knew how much he was hurting himself in the process of punishing his mother. And that was the main reason why she wanted him to let go of the past.
"But I have let it go, Mr. Beelzebub. And now, even you should let it go. Holding onto it for longer will only make you feel more and more pain." Li Xue said, standing facing his back. She wasn't able to look at his face, but she could clearly imagine what he must be looking like.
Slowly, taking her steps to walk to him, she reached out to intertwine her fingers with his. Then looking up at him she spoke, in a very resigned tone as if begging him to accept her words this time. "She is your mother. The one whom you have been searching for more than a decade. Punishing her like this when you actually found her is an equal punishment to you. Do you think I know it? Or do you think I cherish to see you pain?"
Her words were framed in a question but seeking an answer wasn't her intention. She was just letting him realize that even she wasn't able to see him intentionally hurting himself.
No response came from Feng Shufen and Li Xue stepped ahead to look straight at his face, standing in front of him. She expected to see eyes still laced with ice but what she actually saw shook her from inside. Not even in her dreams could she visualize him like that.
It took a small while for her to understand it but it wasn't long enough. Immediately, her hands went up to cup his face while her fingers wiped off the tears from the edge of his eyes. "Shufen, you can't …" Before she could say anything, the man bent down to hug her tight in his embrace, enveloping her in the pains and sorrows he was holding in all the while.
For a moment, taking his sudden weight like that Li Xue almost staggered on her footing. But soon she was able to handle it. Wrapping her arms around his, she slowly rubbed his back, making him comfortable in her arms.
"You are right. I can't take it anymore. I have longed to see her for edges. Pushing her away again and again is not easy. But there is nothing I can do as well. The moment I see her all her intentional deeds flashes back from my memory. And no matter how much I want her close, I can't bear to forget that she was woman who hurt you the worst."
He said, and in his words, Li Xue could feel the heart wrenching pain he has been suffering all along. He must be feeling torn between his mother and her. And that feeling of being divided between two precious ladies of one's life is not simple.
Li Xue wanted to feel blessed for he chose to side with her against his mother. But then again in her happiness, she couldn't forgo the great turmoil he was feeling inside. She pressed her lower lip between her teeth, trying to control her tears that came without her knowledge.
Holding him in her wrap, Li Xue slowly stepped back along with him. Once she felt the edge of the sofa, she slowly bent down to take the seat, also making him sit beside her. But as if she was too embarrassed to show his tears, the moment she sat, she couched down on the floor, putting his face in her lap.
Li Xue understood him, so simply moving her fingers through his hair, she pacified, "If your tears can let out the pains you held inside all this while then shed them with all your might. Don't feel embarrassed. Seeing you in tears, I am not going to judge you. I have shared the floor of your mightiness and power, today give me the honor to support you at your weakest. Don't hold back. Let it out. I am here to share the pain with you."
She said as she felt him crying in her embrace. His hold on her legs increased and she just eased his pains through her soft caresses.
Love was not just sharing the best moments. But it is also about sharing the pains and supporting your partner at their weakest. Men are made tough, but they were not made invincible by nature. They can also be vulnerable at times, but it's their decision to him they would show their weak side.
Feng Shufen was no different in such a case. Li Xue had long become a mirror of his true self. And from his true self, he couldn't bear to run away any more.