Chapter 497 - Let Each Other Go
Chapter 497 – Let Each Other Go
On the other side…
"What are you sulking about?" Shui Xian placed a can of cold beer against Zhai Yanjun's neck as he questioned.
Zhai Yanjun was sitting outside on the stairs, staring at the sky in a dazed manner when Shui Xian appeared. When that cold can touched his skin, his body jerked away and he glared at Shui Xian.
"As if you care," saying that he snatched the beer can from his hand and opened it with a 'pop'.
"If you don't want to say, that's up to you," replied Shui Xian but still sat down beside him with his own beer can. He didn't know why he suddenly thought of having some beer. He usually didn't drink all that much unless it was necessary or when he was feeling down.
And currently, there was no way that he was feeling down. But he knew Zhai Yanjun was down. Maybe that's why he had taken out this beer.
"Can't you talk nicely to me?" asked Zhai Yanjun.
"That's not the kind of friendship we share," reminded Shui Xian.
"Ah! I almost forgot," said Zhai Yanjun.
Shui Xian took a sip of the cold beer and asked, "Stop sulking and tell me what's going on?"
"It's something you said earlier," said Zhai Yanjun. Shui Xian's brows knitted up, trying to recall what he had said earlier, and was it enough to make Zhai Yanjun feel so down? "It's not entirely because of your words. Earlier today, I met my ex."
Shui Xian turned his eyes to Zhai Yanjun and gave him all of his attention.
"You have all my attention now," he told him. "Go on."
Zhai Yanjun looked at Shui Xian's eager eyes and his lips twitched, shaking his head he looked away. "She said I have never made her feel loved." Shui Xian didn't interrupt him and silently listened. "And then when you said that I never made an effort to learn how to cook, it gave me a strange feeling. It made me recall her words that I had been trying to deny. Maybe she is right. Maybe I really didn't love her. At least, I didn't love her enough to fight for our relationship."
Shui Xian placed his hand on his shoulder and said, "Maybe it's not like that. You've always told me how important she is to you."
Zhai Yanjun snorted, "She said being important to someone and love are two very different things."
Shui Xian pressed his lips together as he didn't know how to continue this conversation. After all, he also understood the point.
"I never told you why she is so important to me," Zhai Yanjun looked at Shui Xian's face. "She is the person who pulled me out of the shadows that my mother left on me. I believe you remember how I had closed myself off back then. If it wasn't for her, I'd have never reached where I am today. I thought joining the army would make me strong but it wasn't that easy. If she wasn't there, it definitely would have been something impossible for me." He shook his head and sighed, "In fact, I might not even be able to explain to you how much importance she has in my life. But for the first time today, she made me question; was it really love?"
Shui Xian didn't comment on that. He had never known this aspect of his life at all. He didn't know what kind of difficulties Zhai Yanjun had faced during those years. He always had his friends around him. But he didn't realize that Zhai Yanjun was really lonely. However, he did remember that before joining the army, Zhai Yanjun was nothing different from a gloomy teenager.
But after he graduated from the military academy, he changed. Shui Xian thought that it was because of the army environment. It was only now he knew that there was someone who actually helped him in becoming who he was. There was someone behind all that change.
"She said I take her as a responsibility."
"Huh?"
"Yeah, a responsibility. She believes the only reason I had been with her was that I felt like I owed her something for what she did to me. In fact, back then our relationship started because of this favor as well. She said she'd right off whatever I owe her if I go out with her. And she even gave me the power in our relationship. She really is stubborn. Once I said it ends, it'll be the end."
Shui Xian processed all of what he said and said, "Then don't you think this relationship had always been on the wrong track?"
"What do you mean?"
"She asked you out while writing off whatever favor you believed you owed her. But you continued to hold that close to you. Even to this day, you believe that you owe her something. With this mindset, what makes you think she'd be able to tell whether you love her or not?"
Zhai Yanjun was silent for a minute before saying, "But how could I not think about it? What she did for me was a lot more. How can just dating me write it all off?"
Shui Xian patted his shoulder, "Yanjun, have you ever wondered? Maybe being with you meant a lot more to her than anything else in life. Maybe she really didn't think you owed her anything because what she did was of her own will. However, you turned it into a life-saving grace. Perhaps, her goal had always been you."
Zhai Yanjun was stunned when heard Shui Xian's thoughts.
"I have never met your ex-girlfriend. I don't even know her name even now. But from the small details, you have shared with me over the years, I have always felt that she loves you a lot. It always confused me as well. If she loved you so much, why did she ask for a breakup? And if she did, why did she always come back to you again? It baffled me. However, now I understand it. She loved you so much that it was difficult to let go but it had become a lot more difficult for her to hold on as well."
Zhai Yanjun's eyes dimmed, "Then do you think I've been wrong all along?"
Shui Xian shrugged, "I definitely don't want to comment on that. But I can tell you that this breakup might be the best for both of you. Even if you love her, you are never gonna come out of that feeling of gratitude you hold towards her. And no matter how much she loves you, this relationship had already become suffocating to her. It's good that you both let each other go now."
Zhai Yanjun felt so lost and empty when fully understood the meaning behind Shui Xian's words. His heart clenched in his chest and he clenched his fists tightly.. This realization was a lot to take in for him.