262 Out of Reach
It had taken longer than expected for Nessa to receive her permission to access secure files and rooms. But, of course, it wasn’t surprising, given everything that had happened in such a short amount of time.
After the Eclipsed survivors had arrived, knowing how close her father and the other alpha had been, Nessa had grown concerned about her family. So she chose to return to Broken Crag alone for a few days.
Clara had struggled with her absence. It was strange to feel so much so quickly, but at the same time, it felt natural. In fact, she had begun to question whether or not taking the suppressants would be a good idea.
She understood the need for them, but she also wondered if it might be a better plan to complete the bond sooner. It seemed reasonable to think that the reason their feelings and urges were so strong was because of the incomplete bond. Surely if they marked each other, it would all even out, right?
In Summer, completing the bond was a decision made entirely by the pair of wolves involved. Whether they waited to marry, or ever married, was something only they could decide. Some chose to mark each other right away, others waited for a set amount of time, but most waited until they could get married.
As far as Clara was concerned, there was no real reason to wait.
But for Nessa, it was different. Her father wanted to have a big celebration, a wedding, and a party with lots of family and friends. It was sweet, but annoying. Especially when Nessa returned from Broken Crag with news that there would be no time for celebrations right now.
Ashleigh had been found, but the small packs were still in danger, and war was on the horizon. Jonas had asked Nessa to wait, at least until they had more answers about the other packs. It would be inappropriate to have a wedding before then.
Which only added to Clara’s frustration when she heard that Ashleigh and Caleb had gotten married at the full moon in Winter.
She was happy for her friend and her Alpha, glad to know that they were finally confirming their bond. But why did they get to move forward in their relationship while she remained stuck?
Like an insult to injury, Nessa had taken her suppressant ever since Fiona got back from Winter and approved her access.
They saw each other every one of those days, but it felt different now.
With the bond, there was always a pull between them, a distinct feeling of each other. No matter where Nessa was, Clara could feel her out there somewhere. But now, even standing behind her, she couldn’t feel her.
Not to mention the awkwardness between them.
When they met, their connection was instant. They had been inseparable. Spending as much time together as they could.
After taking the suppressant, Nessa had become busy. She spent hours and hours in Cain’s old lab working on the firewalls.
Clara would come in and sort through the paper files once she finished her duties each day. They hardly spoke. Clara had tried to find something for them to chat about, but Nessa seemed to be in her own world and barely responded to Clara’s questions or comments.
Today was the third day on the suppressant. Clara sighed as she stood outside of Cain’s lab.
“Why do I even bother coming here?” she sighed to herself. “It’s not like she even notices me.”
Clara turned to leave.
“Oh…” she said aloud, stopping as she remembered something important. “Right… ancient secrets, fae genetics, Alpha murdered… that’s why I come here, not to flirt.”
Clara returned to the door.
“Maybe Ashleigh was right to require the suppressants…” she sighed as she ran her access badge over the security lock.
The door opened.
Clara stepped inside. Nessa sat beside the computer; her own laptop connected to it through different cables.
She had her hair parted back in four braids that led into two large buns. She wore a pair of jeans and a dark blue hoodie with a cat on the front. Her glasses were tipped forward on the bridge of her nose, almost to the point of falling. She chewed on her bottom lip and squinted her eyes as she seemed to be concentrating on a particular line of code.
Clara swallowed as the sight of Nessa so focused on bringing down the firewalls on Cain’s partition was making her heart race.
Nessa seemed to have no reaction at all to Clara’s appearance in the room. ρꪖꪕᦔꪖꪕꪫꪣꫀꪶ
After another silent moment passed, Clara sighed and returned to the pile of documents she had been looking at the day before.
‘Ashleigh said this would be a good opportunity to get to know each other as people, without the bond…’ Clara thought. ‘But how are we supposed to do that when Nessa barely even seems to notice I’m alive?’
Clara sat down and picked up the first page, it was just another inventory page from Cain’s various experiments. As busy as he was with his duties as Alpha, Cain had a lot of side projects. Clara leaned to her left, looking past the filing cabinet where she could see Nessa, still hard at work, still not noticing her.
‘I know she’s busy, but would it kill her just to give me a glance? Or a fleeting smile?’ she sighed.
Clara focused back on the papers in front of her. So far, she hadn’t found anything of note. Most of the projects she had seen referenced were well known and not at all related to the fae or any other pack.
She glanced back past the filing cabinet. Nessa stretched back in her chair, reaching her arms into the air and rolling her shoulders around. She sat up and then removed the hoodie. Underneath, she wore a red spaghetti strap tank top.
Clara licked her lips as her eyes fell on the sun-kissed flesh of Nessa’s shoulders. She bit her bottom lip as images flashed in her mind of them kissing and groping each other. The night before taking the suppressant, things between them had gotten hot and heavy. Nothing too crazy, most of their clothing had remained, but enough for the memory to make Clara blush.
She pulled back into her corner of the room.
“Maybe she didn’t like it?” Clara whispered to herself. Then her eyes widened as realization dawned on her. “Maybe she doesn’t like me…?”
“Clara?” Nessa’s voice called to her from a few feet away.
Clara was startled at Nessa’s acknowledgment of her presence.
“How long have you been here?” she asked as she appeared beside the filing cabinet. “Sorry, when I get focused on the code, I kind of zone completely out of time, space, and the current dimension.”
“Oh? I just thought you were ignoring me,” Clara said quietly.
“What?” Nessa asked.
“Nothing,” Clara replied quickly. “I just hope I wasn’t bothering you.”
“Of course not,” Nessa smiled.
Clara loved her smile. It was like sunshine, surrounded by a rainbow, in a basket full of puppies.
Nessa squatted down beside Clara, she was close enough to touch now. The jeans she wore were a perfect fit, highlighting the arc of her hips with a low-rise waist. The tank top was flared in a way that also perfectly accentuated those curves. And at this angle, gave Clara a view of Nessa’s cleavage that made her heart race and her mouth water.
“Clara?” Nessa called to her.
“Hmm?” Clara said, shaking her head. “Sorry, did I zone out? I do that sometimes, my mind just kind of floats away to run through a field of daisies or play sudoku while someone else says something. Then I fall back into my body and have no clue what’s going on.”
Nessa chuckled.
“A field of daisies, huh?” she smiled. “I like daisies.”
Clara felt a blooming warmth in her heart.
‘She does like me,’ she thought.
“Maybe we could go on a picnic together?” Clara asked, swallowing down her nerves. “There is a field of daisies not far from here.”
Clara smiled and reached her hand out to touch Nessa’s arm. But with a look of panic and a quick movement, Nessa stood up, pulling herself out of reach.
“Maybe,” Nessa said without looking at Clara. “I should get back to work, this firewall is no joke.”
“Yea…” Clara replied quietly. “I have a lot to sort through, too.”
Nessa nodded and turned away from Clara, heading back to the computer.