264 I Can Be Hallmark
“I smell good?” Clara laughed. “I mean, it’s good to know, but it’s a little odd as far as a list of likable qualities. But does it change my likability if I change perfumes? Or right after a trip to the gym? I mean, no one smells good after the gym.”
“Like that.” Nessa laughed. “That’s adorable.”
Clara smiled.
“But,” Nessa continued, her smile fading, replaced by nervous swallowing and an inability to keep eye contact. “You and I… we are different.”
“Are we?” Clara asked. “We both seem to have a lot of the same interests and quirks. Taste in music and gender.”
Clara winked, trying to lighten the mood just a little. Nessa gave a slight grin. But then she looked away.
“I mean, I’m different,” Nessa said. “Look, when the bond hit me, I had no control at all. I was guided by this intoxicating scent that just drew me to you.”
Nessa looked up at Clara, thinking of how easy it had been in those first few moments to simply go with what instinct told her.
“And every moment with you has been just like that. Exhilarating, overpowering, and passionate.”
“Is that such a bad thing?” Clara asked, noting that though the description she gave sounded positive, the way Nessa spoke was distinctly negative.
“Kind of,” Nessa replied. “That’s not me….”
“Oh…”
Clara looked away. Unsure how to react.
“The bond is like…harlequin romance,” Nessa continued. “But I’m like, slow-burn hallmark.”
“I can be hallmark,” Clara said with a soft pout.
Nessa looked away, and Clara noticed.
“You don’t think I can be hallmark?” Clara asked, almost offended.
“I think… you are naturally more expressive than I am… and you fall quicker… than I do,” Nessa replied uncomfortably.
“Well, that’s quite an assumption… I mean, we both felt the effects of the bond when we met. You have no idea what I’m like without it!” Clara huffed.
“I met Stacey….” Nessa said, “and Janet… and there was a… Hannah? Or Anna? She was one of the guards at the training grounds.”
Clara’s eyes widened, and she quickly looked away.
“They were very friendly,” Nessa continued. “Went out of their way to congratulate me. They said they never thought they’d see the day you would be willing to commit to someone.”
“You petty bitches….” Clara whispered.
Nessa took a deep breath and sighed.
“Clara, I don’t really care about your past, but I’m concerned about our future.”
“Look, I may have dated… a little. But I never have and would never cheat. I wouldn’t do that.”
“I don’t think you would… but I don’t think I can give you what you want, either,” Nessa sighed. “Clara, I am someone that avoids contact. Pretty much at all times.”
“What do you mean?” Clara asked.
“I mean, physical contact. I don’t touch people. Even my family, my father, I don’t hug. I don’t hold hands. I don’t… kiss.”
“Oh…” Clara said.
“Yea…” Nessa replied.
They sat silently for a few minutes as Clara processed what Nessa was saying.
“Do you… hate it?” Clara asked with concern. “Like, the things we did… kissing, touching. Was that… torture?”
“No, no!” Nessa quickly replied. “I liked it. I enjoyed it.”
There was an awkward blush and giggle exchange between them.
“But that was with the bond influencing me. I could touch you without concern, hold you, kiss you. And I liked it,” Nessa said, a blush settling into her cheeks, “a lot.”
Clara smiled.
“Without the bond,” she continued, “I still like you, and I still like the memory of what we did. But when you reach out to me… it feels almost like before. It’s not disgusting. It’s… uncomfortable.”
“So, you feel like the bond makes you do something you don’t want to do?” Clara asked.
Nessa thought about it for a minute before she answered. ρꪖꪕᦔꪖꪕꪫꪣꫀꪶ
“I think I feel more like it makes me willing to do something I’m not ready for.”
They were quiet again.
Nessa looked away from Clara. She felt as though she had disappointed her. Perhaps even put a nail in the coffin of their relationship.
“Do you feel ok with the suppressants? Like no weird side effects, upset stomach or anything?” Clara asked.
“Uhm… yea, I feel ok… why?” Nessa replied, confused by the sudden change in topic.
“If you are good with it,” Clara said, taking a step closer. This time Nessa did not step back. “I think you should keep taking them. And we should get to know each other.”
Nessa was shocked by her words, having fully expected Clara to walk away and reject her entirely after a few days.
“Nessa, I would like to date you. If you are willing,” Clara smiled, quickly adding. “I promise I won’t try to jump you or anything. I want to spend time together, talk, and do coupley things without the ‘couple’ things. I don’t want to push you, but I don’t want to lose you either.”
Nessa laughed at her flurry of words. But nodded.
“I would like that very much,” she said.
“You can decide how slow we move. I only request that we spend time together every day, and I don’t mean here in the lab trying to solve Alpha Cain’s mystery. I mean, us, a field of daisies, food, or movies, or whatever.”
“I understand,” Nessa smiled. “I would like that too.”
Clara smiled brightly.
Nessa was right. It wasn’t her style to move slowly. She had spent most of her romantic life just happy to have found someone to spend time with. She attached quickly, moved quickly, and then left quickly. But with Nessa, she would try her best to take it slow.
The bond introduced them and showed them the passion and connection they could have together. The suppressant would help them build it.
“Oh!” Nessa suddenly said, her eyes wide and a look of concern on her face.
“What’s wrong? Did I get too close? How far back should I be? Like a foot?” Clara asked, moving away.
“What?” Nessa laughed. “No, just, you can stand beside me. I’m not scared of you, just a little touch-sensitive.”
“Ok,” Clara smiled, moving closer to Nessa. “So, what was the ‘Oh!’ for then?”
“Right, when I went out and saw you hugging Galen, I completely forgot–”
“Because you got jealous,” Clara interrupted.
Nessa pursed her lips, holding back a smile.
“Yes, because I got jealous.”
Clara nodded. “You may continue.”
Nessa rolled her eyes.
“Anyway, I was looking for you because I had a question about the files you mentioned before, the ones that needed to be cleaned up from a previous redaction?”
“Yea, what about them?” Clara said.
“Where are they?”
“What do you mean?” Clara asked, leaning forward to grab the mouse. “They’re on the drive where I left them. Right inside this folder marked– where are they?”
Clara opened and closed folder after folder but couldn’t find the files she was looking for.
“Where are they?!” she cried out.
She did a search for the file name and found nothing. Then searched the folder once more.
“I don’t understand… they were here. This is where I saved them….”
Clara was absolutely dumbfounded. She knew she had placed them in this folder to be reviewed by Nessa.
“Clara…” Nessa called. “Clara, move!”
Nessa quickly pushed Clara aside and started frantically typing away at her keyboard.
“What’s going on?” Clara asked.
“The files, the folders, all of it, they’re being stolen!”
Clara looked over Nessa’s shoulder just in time to see a folder completely disappear from the screen.