285 Where You Need To Be
She woke with a gasp on her couch. Her hand already holding the knife. She looked at it for a moment and then dropped it, letting it fall to the floor.
Bell took deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart.
The alarm on her phone sounded, and before she even had a chance to turn it off, the phone was ringing.
The image on display was of Galen lying in bed, a sleepy smile on his face. Bell let out a soft happy sob.
She quickly wiped away the tears and cleared her throat. She took a deep breath and sat a little straighter as she answered the call.
“Well, someone is eager to chat with me today,” she smiled into the phone.
“Always,” he smiled back. “I couldn’t wait to hear your voice.”
“Well, here it is,” she chuckled. “Should I recite a poem? Perhaps read you a bedtime story?”
“A bedtime story sounds nice,” he replied with a playful flirtation in his tone.
“Hmm… I don’t think I have any books on my shelf that would match the expectation in your tone,” she laughed.
“Sweetheart, I could listen to you read from an instruction manual for the HVAC system and still get turned on.”
Bell felt the panic and fear completely melting away from her as she became absorbed in this wonderful man that filled her heart and body with warmth and love.
“I miss you,” she said softly.
Galen was quiet for a moment.
“Are you ok?” he asked.
Bell forced a laugh.
“I can’t miss you without something being wrong?” she asked.
“You can, and I hope you do. Because you are always on my mind and in my heart.”
“As are you for me,” she replied.
“But,” he continued, “you don’t usually admit it before I do.”
Bell laughed and nodded. He knew her well.
“So, are you ok?” he asked again.
“I am now,” she whispered.
“What about before?” he asked.
Bell hesitated. She swallowed and took a deep breath.
“Honestly, I just miss you. I wish you were here with me,” she said. Then, quickly adding, “I mean these appointments, the ultrasounds… I just wish you could be here to see our son in person rather than on a video call.”
“I know,” Galen sighed. “It was amazing to be with you in any way when we found out, but I would have liked to have been able to hug you, kiss you. And tell you to your face how lucky and thankful I feel for the life you have given me.”
“He’s our son Galen, not a present I have wrapped up for you,” Bell said jokingly.
Galen laughed.
“You know what I mean,” he sighed with a smile.
“I do,” she replied.
“Have you thought of any names?” Galen asked.
“We just found out yesterday that he is he,” she laughed. “So… of course!”
Galen laughed loudly.
“Let me hear them,” he said.
“Well, first, I thought maybe a mix of our names might be fun, Bellen. Sounds a little middle earth or Arthurian, but still nice, I think.”
“Mmhmm,” Galen replied with a chuckle.
“Then I thought maybe something a bit more modern, like Atsign or maybe just the color teal.”
Galen made a sputtering sound. Bell chuckled as she realized he had to spit his drink out from his laughter.
“My last one is a little boring, so probably just a throw-away, nothing particularly special about it. Just kind of occurred to me,” she said. “It’s just.. just.. Ren.” ρꪖꪕᦔꪖꪕꪫꪣꫀꪶ
Bell swallowed and looked away as though he could see her through the phone.
“Just a throw-away, huh?” Galen said softly.
“Mmhmm,” Bell replied quietly.
“Well, I guess I must be easy to please because Ren sounds like a great name to me,”
“Really?” Bell asked hesitantly.
“Really,” Galen replied. “I’m sure Renee would feel honored.”
Bell smiled and sniffled. She took a deep breath.
This man…
“I love you, Galen.”
“I love you too, Bell.”
Their conversation became more relaxed, chatting about how she was physically feeling and what they had done with their days. Bell mentioned having had a long chat with Axel but avoided the details.
They talked about the baby and how surprised he still was that Bell was as excited as he was for their son to arrive.
“Look, I am not looking forward to the birth because… no. But… a little you running around is hard to resist,” she smiled.
“I hope he takes after you,” Galen said.
“You mean a smart ass with an attitude problem? No, thank you.”
Galen laughed.
“I just hope he has your laugh,” Bell said. “I love your laugh.”
Galen smiled and sighed.
“I really wish I could hold you right now,” he said gently.
Bell swallowed. She had been thinking about it the entire conversation. Galen was her rock, his voice alone helped to soothe and comfort her.
“So, I should be home for your next appointment,” Galen said. “I’m excited to listen to his heartbeat and see how much he has grown.”
“Home, huh?” she asked.
“I told you before, anywhere you are is home to me.”
She licked her lips nervously. She still didn’t want to tell him about Roman, but having him with her would make her feel safe. He had already offered before. Maybe it would be best for him to join her in Winter after all.
“I still wish I could be with the two of you every day,” he said. “I would feel much better if I could see you, hold you. Know that you are both safe and healthy.”
“Yea?” she asked.
“Yea,” he replied.
“Well, then…maybe you should–” Bell began to reply softly.
Galen, not having heard her, continued speaking.
“But you were right to refuse me,” he said.
Bell closed her mouth tight and swallowed her words.
“Even with Caleb back, there is so much that needs to be done. The system issue has been cleared up, and Nessa monitors it to ensure it stays that way.
“But Caleb will be going out to meet with the lesser packs again. Fiona is apparently going to be helping Ashleigh with her meditations. So, most of the war preparation is falling back to me.”
Bell squeezed her eyes shut and pursed her lips as she swallowed down the regret of telling him no when he first offered to stay with her.
“They are lucky to have you,” she said softly.
Galen was quiet. Bell wanted him to speak. She was holding back the tears she wanted to shed. If he was silent for too long, she wouldn’t be able to hold on.
“Bell,” he called to her.
“Yea?” she said.
“If you ever need me, all you need to do is tell me,” he said.
Bell moved the phone away from her mouth and away from her body. She bit down on her other hand and pushed back against her building emotions. Then, after a moment, she brought the phone back to her ear.
“I know,” she said softly. “You are where you need to be. Working to guarantee a safe future for our family and all the other families around us.”