368 The Dream Had Changed
How long had it been?
She remembered seeing the braid in Roman’s hand. Then, hearing herself scream at the realization that he had taken it from Axel.
It was only a moment, a few seconds at most. But in those seconds her mind had lurched and screamed and torn itself to pieces.
Where was Axel? What had happened to him? Was he still alive? Did Roman hurt him?
She saw the small boy in the hospital room, half his head covered in bandages. He looked so fragile then.
Was he lying in a hospital bed now? Did he have that same vulnerable look in his eye? Was the pain written on his face?
Did he call out to her?
Then everything stopped.
When she woke again, she was here, sitting in this spot. Alone, in the darkness. With only one light shining down on her.
No secret bunker, emergency exit, not even the window showing her the life she wasn’t living.
Just Alice, alone in the dark.
There was no sense of time, no sounds, or smells. She wasn’t even sure if she was still alive.
Perhaps the doll had finally died, maybe the fractures had finally melted her brain, and this was all that was left.
An eternity of empty darkness, all alone with only the all-consuming agony of loneliness as her companion.
Oh, and her memories. She finally had her memories, here, alone, in the emptiness.
Alice let out a soft sigh.
Maybe it was better before they found each other.
Before the muddled memory of a sweet scent had become the man she longed for. Before the feel of his warm, rough skin pressed to hers became a touch that soothed her. Before the sound of his voice became a soft lullaby rocking her into a peaceful sleep, knowing she was safe by his side.
Before she understood what it meant to love and be loved.
Alice had longed for freedom for many years. Dreamed of escaping her life as a doll. But it was always a dream and never one she dared to pursue.
Not, until she found him again.
Not, until the dream had changed.
It wasn’t about freedom anymore; it wasn’t about ending the doll’s life.
It was about him, about seeing the smile on Axel’s face. About never letting him feel the deep loneliness that had haunted him most of his life. About soothing the hurt in his heart and giving him all the affection and love he deserved.
He was the only thing that mattered, the only part of her that had felt real.
There had been others that she had cared for or had taken care of. Children she helped, women she trained. She cared for them all, for a time. But then, they were erased along with everything else.
But Axel was the only one that stayed. The only one that clung to the walls of her prison mind as tightly as she did. He was the one that had given her reason, hope, something to hold onto.
She wanted to see him smile again. The way he did when he made her laugh as children. Simple joy in making someone happy.
She was grateful for having had a chance to know him, to complete their bond, and share every second that they had together. Being held in his arms, listening to his voice, kissing his lips. Every single moment was burned into her soul.
A heavy weight fell in her stomach.
She was angry and resentful that their time had only been a few days. Long enough to miss each other, too short to not feel cheated.
Alice gasped.
If she was dead… Axel would have felt it.
They had confirmed their bond. And from all that she knew about mated pairs, even with the suppressants she was forced to take each day, her death, the severing of that bond… he would have felt it.
He would have experienced her pain, and the end of her life.
Alice closed her eyes, pressing her head to her knees.
“I hope it was quick…” she whispered aloud.
She didn’t want to think of Axel writhing in pain as her body gave out. Knowing that she was dead. He was a strong man, but his heart was precious and fragile.
Alice let out an angry scream that was quickly swallowed by the impenetrable darkness surrounding her.
Her anger subsided as the worry in her heart grew.
But if he felt her loss, after having met Roman…
“Forget me…” she pleaded in a pained whisper to the nothingness. “Please, forget me.”
The last thing she wanted was Axel coming after Roman.
He was strong and capable. But Roman was cruel. Axel would never fight dirty or kill someone that was already injured. He would always try to do the right thing. But Roman didn’t care about those things. All he cared about was enjoying the chaos and bloodshed.
Alice kept her eyes closed as she silently prayed that Axel would forget her, that he would find someone else. Someone that would stay with him and keep that lopsided grin on his face for the rest of his hopefully long life.
As for herself, she wished for nothing.
She had long ago assumed that she would end up trapped in the dark. But, after all these years of being afraid of it, what else could she do but accept that this was always her fate?
A soft, muffled sound reached her ears.
She sat up, looking out into the blackness but seeing no change.
The sound came again. This time she was sure it came from behind her.
Alice stood and turned around.
Blackness, thick empty blackness.
She stared into it, looking, searching.
And then she laughed gently and scoffed.
Apparently, there was a tiny hope left in her heart.
She sighed and sat back down on the ground below her.
“Alice!!”
The voice screamed around her, breaking the silence of the void. It was so loud that Alice covered her ears. Her heart began to race, and her breaths quickened.
“Alice!” a man called to her. “Wake up!”