382 Could You Bear That Loss?
He stared through the small glass panel of the door.
She was surrounded by monitors, tubes, and wiring. Heart rate, blood pressure, IV fluids, and blood.
Axel felt a painful grip on his heart.
He wanted to run to her side, but he found himself frozen. His hand gripped the door handle as he looked in on her.
The doctor had told him that she had lost a lot of blood, a dangerous amount. Placing the armor on her had likely saved her life, but her natural healing was not working as it should. He theorized that she was too close to death and her body needed a boost to begin the natural process.
But if he was wrong, if her healing didn’t start soon, there was still a chance she would not wake up again.
“That one, Stefan,” Caleb whispered, “he has been particularly concerned about her.”
pan-da-n0vel.com Axel followed Caleb’s gaze.
A small boy, only about eight years old, was beside her bed. He held her hand and lay his head beside her. His eyes were closed, but Axel was sure that the boy would sit up immediately if he opened the door.
On the floor not far from the bed were four sleeping children huddled together in a pile.
“She saved them all,” Caleb said.
Axel closed his eyes. Seeing her smile in his mind. That mischievous grin, the warmth of her gold speckled brown eyes.
“He was the first,” Caleb continued. “She found him and his sister. But, apparently, the sister was already gone. He didn’t explain any further. He just said that Alice appeared before him. She avenged his sister and then promised to get him out of Autumn.
“He told her about the others, and she asked him to take her to them. That was also where she found Wyatt.”
Axel opened his eyes, feeling a sudden rush of anger through his body.
“In Autumn…” he whispered.
Roman’s fiery eyes, his wicked grin. The image was burned into his mind. He let out a soft growl.
“I’m not sure what Tomas was thinking….” Caleb sighed.
“It wasn’t Tomas,” Axel said.
Caleb looked at him.
“It was Roman.”
“How can you be sure?” Caleb asked.
“I just am,” Axel sighed.
He turned back to look at the woman he loved. Injured, on the brink of death.
She was finally within walking distance; he could see her. All he had to do was open the door and step inside.
“How’s Ashleigh?” Axel asked.
“Still sleeping,” Caleb replied.
Axel nodded, never moving his eyes away from Alice.
“I don’t know how she will react to this,” Axel whispered.
“I don’t either,” Caleb replied.
Inside the room, Alice let out a soft cry.
It was a nightmare. He remembered the way she would cry out in her sleep.
Axel closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, pushing back against the threat of an emotional flood.
“However she feels, you must help her to hold it back.”
“I’m not sure I can make that promise,” Caleb said.
“You must,” Axel growled, looking at Caleb with a slight glow. “We all must.”
Caleb stiffened.
“Until my father’s feast has been given… there must be peace,” Axel said through gritted teeth.
Caleb swallowed and gathered his nerve.
“Do you plan to avoid her until after the feast?” Caleb asked.
“I have no reason to avoid my sister.”
“I meant Alice,” Caleb said. “Can’t help but notice you seem to be having difficulty opening that door.”
Axel sighed.
“It’s not that simple.”
“What’s the problem? She’s your mate, right?” Caleb asked. “If it was Ashleigh, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from running through that door to make sure she was all right.”
“If it was Ashleigh, you would know who it was you would encounter on the other side of that door.”
Caleb furrowed his brows. He looked at the pained look on Axel’s face, and then he remembered what Sofia had told him. About the doll. He sighed.
“But you’ve seen it before,” he said.
Axel scoffed gently.
“Does that make it easier?” he asked.
Caleb turned away; he had no way of knowing what Axel was going through.
“I have met four different versions of her,” Axel continued. “The innocent child that felt the same pull to me as I did her, that laughed and smiled. The flirtatious spy that I was warned to stay away from, who knew the things I liked and used them to get my attention.”
Axel paused, pulling his hand away from the door turning away. He closed his eyes and let out a breath.
“The broken doll, her thoughts scattered over years of confused memories. Fragmented stories of bloody kitchens and monsters.”
Caleb looked back through the glass window. Alice stirred. The look on her face was distressed and then calm again. He wondered if the dreams were like the ramblings that Axel described.
“Finally, I met Alice,” Axel sighed with a smile. “The real, true Alice. My mate, the woman I love.”
“It could be her,” Caleb whispered. “She could be the one on the other side of this door.”
“Or it could be someone else entirely,” Axel replied sadly.
Caleb sighed and looked back at Axel.
“I don’t understand,” he said. “Before, you sounded so confident in your relationship with her. If you are afraid she will be another person, why did you argue so hard against Ashleigh?”
“You don’t understand,” Axel sighed.
“Make me understand,” Caleb said.
Axel looked back, and Caleb could see the tears gathering in his eyes.
“Any other time, any other day,” Axel whispered. “It wouldn’t matter who the voice in that room is. Because I know that inside is my Alice.”
Axel sniffled, and the tears streamed from his eyes.
“But today… after my father….”
Axel paused. Closing his eyes for a moment, he took a shaky breath.
“If I go in there and she doesn’t know me anymore, if she’s….” Axel released a soft sob and licked his lips, “gone.”
He took a deep breath.
“I can’t take that loss today.”
Axel turned away.
Caleb looked back into the room at Alice’s brief but pained expression in her sleep.
“And if she’s still there?” he asked. “If it’s her in that room… and she gets worse while you’re out here.”
Axel looked back over his shoulder.
Caleb turned around.
“Could you bear that loss?”
Axel clenched his jaw. But before he had a chance to consider Caleb’s words, a small voice cried out that sent his heart into a frenzy.
“Help!” Stefan shouted. “Help! She’s dying!”