39 Couldn’t Be Bothered
“Twelve years ago, I was sent to Winter for three months to understand how to protect my people in a place I wasn’t familiar with or comfortable.”
Caleb began, he leaned back against the table.
“When I arrived, I met Alpha Wyatt. He greeted me, took me into his home, and fed me. He took me to a small cabin in the forest where I stayed for a week. Each day he would come early in the morning, and we would train together until late at night.”
Ashleigh tried to think back to see if she remembered a boy coming to their home, but she didn’t. Which meant it happened close to her own shifting. Pups in Winter always stayed together as they neared their first shift.
“Then we spent four days traveling up the mountainside. The wind was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It cut at my flesh like millions of tiny knives, and the cold was bitter, I felt it down into my bones.
The pack I carried was heavier than I was. I struggled. I was a decent climber, but the snow made everything sluggish and heavy. Still, we made it to the top.”
Ashleigh found a spot on the floor across from him, sitting down to listen to his story intently.
“Wyatt patted me on the back, he told me I had done good, I was so proud,” Caleb smiled at the memory. “I thought I had accomplished something amazing that day.”
Caleb chuckled briefly, then suddenly he adjusted his posture. Sitting up a little straighter as though someone had corrected him.
“He told me to go into the trees in search of firewood, he said he would set up the camp. Three days he said,” Caleb held up three fingers for emphasis, “three days. He repeated that several times.”
Ashleigh took a deep breath; she already knew what would come next. She might not have known about Caleb’s time in Winter, but she was very aware of how wolves were trained there.
“I did as he said, I entered the tree line, I found a good amount of firewood, and then I returned. I went right back to where I had left him. But he was gone, my pack was gone, there was no camp.
I wandered around the area, not straying too far, just looking to see if maybe he had found a better spot for camp.” Caleb gave a bitter grin. “I am ashamed to admit that it took me around four hours to realize I had been left.”
‘It took me a whole night,’ Ashleigh whispered in her mind.
“I wanted to climb back down the mountain, but two things occurred to me. The first was that I no longer had my climbing gear, and the second,” he paused and smiled, “was three days.”
He laughed this time. Dropping his head forward he allowed himself to remember the feeling of it all. He had been so scared. He let out a deep breath before continuing.
“Wyatt had said it so many times, I assumed that this was the challenge. Survive three days on the mountain top and then he’d come back for me.
So that’s what I did. I searched through the trees for any kind of fruit, berries, nuts, whatever I could find to eat. I got lucky; I found a small rabbit’s den. I made a fire and did everything I could to keep it going.”
Ashleigh hugged herself as she remembered a bitter cold; she hadn’t been able to light a fire.
“Three days passed, I was hungry, freezing, and tired. Only able to sleep an hour or two here and there. But it was the third day and I found energy in my expectations. So, when the fourth day arrived, and then the fifth, and sixth. I was even more tired than I had been before.”
Caleb hugged himself squeezing his fingers into a fist and back out again as the memory played in his mind.
He couldn’t feel his fingers, he had fallen asleep and stayed asleep longer than he intended to. The fire was out, there was no food. The wind had picked up again. Snow fell in a painful burst of cold fire as it hit his face repeatedly. He looked up into a grey haze of clouds, wind, and snow.
A blizzard had struck.
Caleb pulled himself to his feet, struggling to push past the heaviness and the pain. He ran into the trees looking for any kind of protection against the wind. He found a small alcove of rocks, pressing his small body in between them he was able to find a sort of temporary shelter.
The rocks that surrounded him helped to insulate him, while the large one above helped to keep the wind and snow from hitting him directly. He needed to build a fire, he needed to find food. But he was so tired, he lost consciousness.
Caleb shook the memory away.
“I waited three days, and then I waited for four more. I thought maybe on the third day Wyatt had started his journey up the mountain, it had taken us four days. But on that seventh day, the only thing that came was a blizzard.”
Ashleigh looked up at this detail.
“You were on the mountain when the blizzard hit?” she asked.
“Yea, apparently it was the strongest blizzard to hit in years.”
‘A decade.’ Ashleigh corrected him quietly in her thoughts. Blurry white images flooding her memory. ρꪖꪕᦔꪖꪕꪫꪣꫀꪶ
“The blizzard lasted three days. I found shelter in the form of a small alcove. The first day I was mostly in and out of consciousness. The second I managed to get myself moving, crawling along the ground I was able to find a downed tree. I pulled chunks of wood and hurried back to my alcove.
Lighting a fire took most of my energy and I had to tear into the lining of my coat for starter kindling.”
Ashleigh hugged herself tightly once more. Listening to his words, but in her mind, she saw a different story entirely. A sound echoed through time, a crunching crack. Her shoulder ached at the memory
“The third day, the blizzard had finally eased, it was no longer a full whiteout. After a few more hours the wind ceased, and the mountainside almost felt peaceful.”
Caleb took a deep breath as though he were inhaling that fresh mountain air.
“It had been ten days since Alpha Wyatt had left me at the top of the mountain. I finally knew he wasn’t coming for me.”
“Is this why you hate him?” Ashleigh said quietly, shaking off the memories of her past. “For something that happened twelve years ago?”
She let out a bitter laugh.
“You petty bastard,” Ashleigh spat. “You’re not special. He wasn’t torturing you or being cruel. He gave you a challenge that every wolf of Winter faces at the time of their shifting. He allowed you to prove yourself!”
She growled at him.
“No, Ashleigh, this isn’t why I hate him,” he replied calmly looking up at her before moving closer, he bent down so he sat on his heels before her. “I am telling you this story, so you understand how much I respected him.”
“What?” she questioned; her head filled with confusion.
“When I realized that he wasn’t coming, I decided to go to him. Yes, I was angry, I was confused, I didn’t understand why he would do this to me. I didn’t know your customs, and I hadn’t shifted yet.”
Ashleigh drew back from him. He hadn’t shifted. This shocked and confused her. The trial of the mountain was a test of your wolf spirit. To confirm you were strong enough to carry it.
To send a child into the mountains, without his wolf to help him. She was horrified by the thought.
“Actually,” he smiled, “I was scared of wolves back then. The only time I had seen anyone shift was to kill a rogue wolf that had made it past our borders. I watched as the guard that had shifted in front of me, tore the other wolf’s throat out.”
“I thought Summer kept the children away from things like that,” Ashleigh commented softly.
“We do, but the Alpha’s son isn’t a child, is he?” Caleb smiled cynically.
“What cured your fear?” Ashleigh asked, feeling a genuine curiosity toward Caleb.
“Vulnerability,” Caleb sighed, “after I decided to get down the mountain, I saw a wolf, so white it almost blended into the snow. I hid immediately, my heart raced, and I expected that I was going to die.”
Caleb stood up and walked back to the table facing away from her. He thought back to that moment.
The wolf lay on the ground, was it sleeping? Caleb hid behind a tree, trying desperately to calm his racing heart. He didn’t have the energy to waste on his fear, but he didn’t have the strength to overcome it either.
A sound drew his attention away from the wolf, a quiet squish. Not far away he found the source. A rabbit jumping in the snow.
He heard a growl and then a whimper.
Caleb turned back to the wolf in the snow, she stood watching the rabbit. She took a step forward, letting out a whimper before falling.
He saw it then, her pure white fur stained with brown and red at the shoulder. The wolf whimpered again and then turned her head away from the rabbit.
Caleb felt a sudden pain in his chest, a heaviness.
“You saw a white wolf in the mountains after the blizzard?” Ashleigh asked.
Her question brought Caleb back from his memories. He nodded before answering her fully.
“She was injured,” he said, “I don’t know what happened to her, but it looked like she was giving up, just laying in the snow as a rabbit jumped away from her.
As terrified as I was of getting eaten myself, I couldn’t do nothing. So, I gathered what little strength and energy I had left, and I chased down the rabbit.
I caught it, killed it, I kept a little of the meat for myself. Then I made my way back to where I had seen her. I was afraid she would smell the blood and charge at me. But she didn’t react, she was still sleeping.
I threw the rabbit down as near to her as I dared to go, and then I left.”
Caleb thought back to that moment, he wondered if the wolf had ever woken up again. He lifted his eyes to Ashleigh, she was looking away from him. He felt that gripping pain on his heart once more. He shared an important moment in his life with her, and she couldn’t be bothered to listen.