413 A Mercy
They talked about the time when Holden met Granger at Ashleigh’s birthday party and how he had continued to whisper in his ear after that. How Alice had heard Holden whispering about an attack on Winter. She didn’t know when or where, so she had sent a message to Caleb to be vigilant.
“What about Axel?” Ashleigh asked. “Granger attacked him that night. He almost killed him.”
“I didn’t know, and neither did Holden. Though if Granger had told him, Holden would have praised him for it,” Alice said.
“Holden… I knew he was a weasel, but I didn’t know he was this bad,” Ashleigh sighed.
Alice looked at Ashleigh carefully.
“There is something else you should know about Granger while he still remained in Winter,” she said.
Ashleigh looked back at her.
“What?”
“About the flowers he gave you while you were in the hospital,” Alice said.
“I already know he was the one that poisoned me. Axel heard him mention it before he tried to kill him,” Ashleigh replied. She lowered her eyes. “I survived it. It was my friend Renee that paid the
price for his actions.”
Alice swallowed and licked her lips.
“I am the one that gave him the poison,” she said.
Ashleigh felt her heart still.
‘Murderer!’
‘Betrayer!’
‘Kill her!’
The voices that had been silent almost the entire time since they had infiltrated the lab suddenly screamed in her mind.
“What?” Ashleigh growled, raising her eyes to settle on Alice.
“I was ordered to give him the poison. I explained to him how to use it. It was only meant to cause a suggestive state. Holden did not tell me that you were the target, or I would have warned Granger of the danger in placing it near you.”
“You would have… warned him?” Ashleigh asked as she stood and slowly moved toward Alice. “You wouldn’t have stopped him? Just warned him?”
“My orders were to give Granger the poison and instruct him on how to use it,” Alice replied. “So, no, I wouldn’t have stopped him because I couldn’t.”
Ashleigh clenched her jaw.
“He was supposed to use a small amount, only enough to give a mild reaction. But Holden gave him separate orders. He told him to use way more than was necessary, knowing how it would interact with the wolfsbane in your system.”
“So, it’s all just Holden’s fault, right?” Ashleigh growled. “You just handed Granger the murder weapon… but it’s not your fault.”
“I gave Granger the antidote for you,” Alice said. “I didn’t know about your friend until I was already back in this lab.”
Ashleigh growled, moving closer and closer.
“Holden was the one that ordered Granger to clean up the mess he had made.”
Ashleigh stopped.
“Granger killed your friend,” Alice said. “I looked at her records. Bell was on the right track. She would have been able to save her if not for Granger pumping her heart full of adrenaline.”
Ashleigh clenched her jaw and felt her body getting heavy.
“Does that make what you did alright?” she asked shakily. “If it wasn’t for you, none of it would have happened!”
Ashleigh ran at Alice, closing the distance between them in seconds. She swung at the other woman, who blocked her attack. Ashleigh tried twice more to punch Alice, but both swings were blocked.
Alice caught Ashleigh’s arm and twisted it behind her back, locking her shoulder in place painfully.
“I told you before that I will not accept responsibility for the things I had no control over,” Alice said near Ashleigh’s ear. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to know the truth.”
Alice let Ashleigh go, pushing her away gently.
“If you wish to fight me because you don’t like what I have to say, at least wait until these children are safely out of this hell,” Alice said.
Ashleigh snarled.
“How can you be so calm about it all!” she shouted. “You know the things you did, even if they weren’t your choice, you could remember them! How does that not sicken you!”
Though she stared at Alice, her mind was scattered.
She saw flashes of Renee laughing, joking, throwing pillows at Bell. Then she saw flashes of the party in Summer, of the men and women she had torn to pieces, of seeing them in Whiteridge smiling and happy.
‘You killed them all.’
‘Are you even strong enough to lead?’
‘It was your fault.’
Ashleigh covered her ears with a snarl.
“Ashleigh–” Alice called out with concern, but a sound from the computer drew her attention away.
Alice hurried to the computer and looked over the notifications.
As Alice worked on the computer, Ashleigh took slow deep breaths, pushing back against her guilt and memories. Against the voices that she recognized now, were filled with hate and doubt.
“We only have twenty minutes left,” Alice said. “They will start waking up shortly before that.”
Alice turned back and walked over to Ashleigh.
“I know you are angry, but it’s not just about what I told you,” she said. “Whatever it is, you need to find a way past it. I didn’t bring you along for the company.”
Ashleigh took another deep breath and then stood up straight. She looked into Alice’s eyes and pushed back the last bit of doubt in her mind.
“I was wondering,” she said, her voice coming out almost as strong as she hoped it would.
“I need to stay and monitor the children. As they start waking up, I need to remove their IVs and then purge the system of all of these files,” she said. “But once I start that process, Spring will be alerted. The security here will know before that. I will lock down the higher levels so no one can come down. But I need you to open the exit.”
“You stay here with the children while you send me up to face the actual danger?” Ashleigh asked with a scoff.
“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t aware that you knew how to create a virus to wipe out any file remotely associated with these children or me, here and on every other Spring connected network,” Alice replied with a smile and a tilt of her head.
Ashleigh growled.
“Fine, I’ll be a happy little grunt,” she said, heading for the door.
“If I wanted a grunt, I would have grabbed any able-bodied fighter,” Alice said. “I chose you because I knew you would put the safety of those children above anything else. I chose you because, like your father and brother, you are a hero.”
Ashleigh stopped. Feeling a wave of guilt wash over her. She looked to the floor.
“A hero doesn’t massacre innocent people,” she said quietly.
“Is that what it is?” Alice asked, “the voices you hear?”
Ashleigh glanced back but turned away and continued toward the door.
“Ashleigh, the wolves of Whiteridge and Shadowcrest were gone,” Alice said.
Ashleigh stopped, her fingers resting on the door handle.
“Bitter Night is a potent and terrible drug. Those who are exposed to large quantities of it don’t survive. But worse, they spend their last days in a feral state. Their minds slowly eat away at themselves. It is a torturous and cruel death.
“Granger spent weeks making those wolves crazy. He gave them small doses, watching as they followed his every command and enjoyed the look of horror in their eyes when they knew the things he made them do. And then, because he knew what it would do to you, he overwhelmed them with the drug that night.
“Believe me when I say what you did was a mercy for them.”
Ashleigh felt the tears that rolled down her cheeks.
“If that’s true,” she said softly. “How are you alive? How are these children alive?”
Alice took a deep breath before answering.
“Because,” she sighed. “These children and I are different from most wolves. Our chemistry is different.”
Ashleigh looked back over her shoulder.
“I told you that the people I wanted to save were people that many wolves would not want to be saved,” Alice continued. “I didn’t just mean because they are meant to become dolls like me.”
“What did you mean?” Ashleigh asked, turning completely around.
“These children and I… we were all human once.”