519 Maybe, Next Year
“Ashleigh, there is one more thing I want to talk to you about,” Alice said. “Actually, it’s kind of two things.”
Ashleigh let out an exasperated sigh. The conversation had worked her up and then drained her of her energy.
“What is it?”
“Here,” Alice said, holding her hand out.
Ashleigh looked in Alice’s palm, where a pin sat. She thought it was hers, but it seemed slightly different.
“What is that?” Ashleigh asked.
“An upgrade,” Alice replied.
“What do you mean?” Ashleigh asked, taking it and looking closer at it.
“I had a few gadgets when I switched teams,” Alice replied. “During my stay in Summer, Nessa and I discussed a few of them. We got the idea of how to make some improvements to the current model of your pin.”
Ashleigh furrowed her brow and looked up at Alice.
“I didn’t hear anything about this,” she said.
“No,” Alice smiled. “Neither Nessa nor I are great with authority we don’t fully recognize… so… it was our little secret. Though now, Nessa has presented it to Fiona and Galen, gotten approval, and production began before you and Caleb arrived in Winter. This is one of the very first models, Nessa sent it to me directly to test out, and it works beautifully.”
“Uh… ok…” Ashleigh replied. “Still don’t love that you guys did it on your own… but if Fiona and Galen okayed it, I guess it must be a real improvement.”
“Mmhmm, mmhmm, yep, put it on.”
Ashleigh furrowed her brows.
“You said this was a test model that Nessa sent you,” she said.
Alice nodded.
“Which means she programmed it for you,” Ashleigh said. “I can’t use it. I mean, yea, as a patchwork system, but not as anything more than that.”
“Oh, I already programmed it for you,” Alice replied.
“You programmed it for me?” Ashleigh asked.
Alice nodded.
“Alice, when my first pin was programmed for me, they made me go through testing and blood draws. There was a lot to it.”
“Mmhmm, yea, I just went in and copied your biometric data to the new device. So you currently could use either one.”
Ashleigh closed her eyes, bringing her hand up to rub her temples as she released an exasperated sigh.
“You hacked Summer again?” she asked softly.
“It’s not really hacking if I walk through the backdoor,” Alice smiled.
“You make it so hard to forget the whole spy thing, you know.”
“I’m unforgettable,” Alice winked. “Now, put it on. It’s a gift.”
Ashleigh placed the pin against her chest, pressing lightly against it.
Rather than thick chords covering her body, it was the same black material her weapons were made from. It spread out from the pin over her body until she was covered in a thin layer.
She felt lighter as she turned and looked around her. She could feel that her movements were less restricted than before.
“It feels lighter,” she said. “But is it as strong as the previous armor?”
“Stronger,” Alice replied with a smile. “But that’s not the best part.”
Alice reached out and touched Ashleigh’s arm. Ashleigh gasped as a display opened. It showed heat signatures around her. The fire, Alice, and Myka.
There were directional markers, weather readers, and a basic landscaped map. It only went out about a half mile, but it was still quite impressive.
“Wow…” Ashleigh whispered.
“There’s one more thing,” Alice said. “It has its own communications network, different from our normal comms and phones.”
“Oh,” Ashleigh said. “That’s cool.”
It was interesting, but she wasn’t sure it was more impressive than the features she was already looking at.
“The communications network uses several human satellites to boost the signal. So even in places where the connection on the phone is weak, we can still communicate. It’s also a private system. Only the wearer can hear the conversation, and the mic is sensitive even to a whisper,” Alice explained.
She quieted and watched as Ashleigh continued to look at the display in front of her. Then looking down at her watch, she confirmed the time with a smile.
“It’s after midnight now,” Alice commented.
“What?” Ashleigh asked, distracted by some of the details shown on the map.
Ashleigh looked up, surprised by the gentle smile on Alice’s face.
“If you keep your voice quiet, you can speak with someone even while trying to keep cover in hostile territory.”
Ashleigh furrowed her brows.
“What are you talking about?” she asked.
“You have a call coming in,” Alice smiled.
Just as Ashleigh was about to question what Alice meant, there was a notification of a request to communicate. Her eyes widened at the other party’s name, and she accepted the request without thinking.
“By the way,” Alice whispered, drawing Ashleigh’s attention again. “Happy Birthday, Ashleigh.”
Alice gave her a wink and a parting smile as she turned and headed back to her tent.
Ashleigh was so stunned that she forgot about the call coming through.
“Ashleigh?” Caleb whispered in her ear. “This says the call is connected; I hope it’s true.”
She felt a tight grip in her chest. It wasn’t like before, not a sinking or painful feeling. Just a pleasant shock that made it hard to breathe.
“I’m here,” she whispered.
She could hear a soft sigh through the earpiece, a sound of relief and comfort.
“Thank goodness for that,” he whispered. “Now I can wish you a happy birthday.”
Ashleigh let out a soft laugh.
“Would you believe I actually forgot?” she said.
“Yes,” he replied immediately, “I would believe that. You’ve been focused on this mission for the past few weeks. There has always been something else to focus on this year.”
Ashleigh gasped.
“What’s wrong?” Caleb asked. “Are you all right?”
“I just realized…” she said. “We missed your birthday!”
“Oh,” Caleb sighed. “That’s not a big deal.”
“How is it not a big deal?” Ashleigh asked. “We are both in hostile territories, making our way to dangerous missions. Yet, you went out of your way to make sure that we could talk as soon as it was my birthday, but I didn’t even remember yours.”
“To be fair,” he replied. “I didn’t actually ever tell you when my birthday was. Anytime it came up, I sort of maneuvered the conversation away from it.”
Ashleigh furrowed her brows as she thought about different conversations, suddenly realizing that he was telling the truth. He really had avoided telling her his birthday.
“How… for a whole year, how did you manage to pull that off?” she asked incredulously. “And why didn’t anyone else tell me?”
Caleb sighed.
“Ash, I don’t celebrate my birthday,” he said. “And the whole of Summer is aware of that.”
“Why not?”
He was momentarily quiet.
“When I was at the end of my rotation among the humans, I had a friend,” he began. “He was a good guy. He helped me out a lot. He was smart, strong, and funny, and I knew he struggled with bad memories. But, I never realized just how bad it was for him.”
Ashleigh swallowed as she listened.
“On my birthday, a few friends invited me to a club,” he continued. “I had a great time. I drank, danced, and just generally celebrated. I saw that he called a few times, but I didn’t answer. I was having too much fun.”
He paused.
“The next day, I found out he was gone,” Caleb said quietly. “He had taken his own life.”
Ashleigh closed her eyes.
“He had left me a few voice messages. At first, he said he didn’t want to be alone. In the second, he said he was scared. And in the last one, he wished me a happy birthday and told me not to worry about him.”
“Caleb…” Ashleigh whispered.
“He’s why I started emphasizing studies and training on PTSD and early response to trauma when I got back,” he said. “But, even after all these years… I struggle with the actual day. So I prefer to let it go by without attention being drawn to it.”
Ashleigh took a deep breath.
“Caleb, I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I had no idea. I didn’t mean to force you to relive such a terrible memory.”
Caleb chuckled.
pA(nD)A no ve1 “You didn’t. I chose to share it with you,” he said. “Listen, it hurt a lot for a while, and I think of him and miss him all the time. But now I can look back and still find the joy in the good memories I shared with him. And even though I couldn’t help him, he helped me to help a lot of other people.”
Caleb took a breath.
“Me not celebrating my birthday isn’t because I spend the day wallowing in shame or guilt. I know that what happened to him wasn’t my fault. I chose not to celebrate because it just didn’t feel right. At first, it was about honoring him, and then I think it just became part of my routine. And after a while, my mom and Galen just kind of gave up on approaching me about celebrating.”
Ashleigh could understand how he felt.
She was glad to hear from him on her birthday, but she was also pleased that her family hadn’t tried to celebrate while she was in Winter. It would have felt wrong. She wasn’t in the mood to celebrate between the war and losing her father a short time ago.
“But,” Caleb said. “Maybe, next year, we can celebrate together.”
Ashleigh smiled.
“I would love that,” she said.
They chatted for a bit longer, but soon enough, both needed to get sleep.
“Thank you, Caleb,” Ashleigh smiled. “This really was the best birthday present I could have received.”
“To be clear,” he replied. “I absolutely wanted to talk to you today and wish you a happy birthday, but as much as I want to take credit for arranging this… I can’t.”
“What?”
“Yea, I just heard about these upgraded pins about an hour ago. And I really need to have a conversation with Nessa as soon as I get back to Summer about that,” he sighed. “Anyway, yea… this whole thing was set up by Alice. She arranged for the delivery of my pin with our restock today and had Nessa send detailed instructions and a note that you would have yours at midnight.”
Ashleigh furrowed her brows and looked in the direction of Alice’s tent.
“Really?” she asked. “Why would she do that for me?”
“According to the message she sent through Nessa, she said it would ease your mind.”