594 I Can’t
Axel took slow deep breaths as he held tightly to his leg and tried to process what exactly he was seeing.
“Do you like it?” Roman asked, grinning and tilting his head as he looked down at the root that replaced his arm. “After that mutt cut off my hand, the creature that wore my mother’s skin gave me an upgrade.”
Roman moved his arm, tugging at the root in Axel’s leg.
Axel clenched his teeth, feeling a fever coming over him as the fire spread in his leg.
“She also taught me how to listen to all the noise around me….” Roman whispered, turning his burning eyes back on Axel. “How to use it.”
The ground on either side of Axel rumbled and then exploded as thick, ancient roots burst from the dirt and wrapped around his arms, pulling him back and holding him in place. Axel growled and tried to struggle. But with each movement, the roots only tightened until he felt the strain against his shoulder threatening to dislocate.
“Nice little trick, isn’t it?” Roman asked.
He took a step closer and knelt in front of Axel, looking at the wound in his leg where the root remained.
“Does it hurt?” Roman asked, reaching out with his other hand and squeezing Axel’s leg.
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Roman smiled, looking up at Axel.
“She told you not to scream, didn’t she?”
Axel looked into Roman’s eyes. He was smiling, but he was angry. He was furious at the thought that Alice had helped him in any way.
Roman’s smile fell.
“Didn’t she!” he screamed, squeezing Axel’s leg harder.
Axel gritted his teeth painfully, taking in slow, shaky breaths as the sweat gathered on his forehead.
He looked Roman straight in the eye and nodded.
Roman let out an angry growl and pushed away from Axel, ripping the root from the wound as he got up and paced the small area.
Axel closed his eyes and again swallowed the pain as the root slipped out of the wound. Even without it, the fire still continued to burn at him.
Roman looked at Axel again. He took a deep breath and focused his mind.
“You know…” he began, “I knew it wasn’t my mother when she left that cave. But I wanted her to be.”
Axel furrowed his brows, looking up at Roman.
“My mother was the only one I cared about,” he continued. “The only one that cared about me…. Except… for Alice.”
Axel clenched his jaw, and Roman growled.
“I protected her,” he whispered. “I watched over her. I stayed with her!”
“You tortured her!” Axel snarled.
“I made her strong!” Roman snarled back, the veins in his neck bulging as he desperately held back the overwhelming emotions. Anger and resentment burned from his eyes. “I taught her to survive!”
Axel turned away.
“Holden would have let her die in his experiments if I didn’t teach her to take the pain,” he said. Swallowing the strange and painful feeling that rose in his chest. “I had to show her… to keep her.”
Axel glanced back at Roman, confused. Roman stared at a memory, not seeing Axel at all. But Axel saw something in his eyes, not anger or resentment. Pain. Regret. Heartache.
“I cleaned her wounds. I taught her where to go,” Roman whispered. “How to hide in the dark… and he made her forget me.”
Axel felt a jolt of recognition in his words.
‘You hide in the dark until you forget there ever was light.’
Her soft voice echoed in his memory.
“I agreed so that no one else would hurt her… but he lied. He made her forget who I was and why I helped. He made sure she only knew me as a monster.”
“You are a monster,” Axel growled.
Roman tilted his head. He looked at Axel with consideration and then shrugged his shoulders.
“We all have our flaws,” he smiled. “Soon, you’ll be a monster too.”
Axel furrowed his brow as Roman pointed his chin toward the wound. Axel looked down, it was bloody, but he could see the black lines just under the material of his armor. He looked up at Roman.
“It wasn’t as much as the hybrids carry,” Roman said, crouching before Axel. “But it’s enough. I wanted to make sure you felt the change. Every moment of it.”
Axel’s heart thundered in his throat.
Roman leaned forward, moving his face closer to Axel’s.
“She was the light, the warm light I couldn’t… I wouldn’t, touch,” Roman hissed. “But you took her. Stole her away from me!”
“She is my mate!” Axel growled.
Roman snarled, and the roots pulled painfully on Axel’s arms.
Roman took a deep breath and then looked down at Axel’s wound, reaching out and poking it, drawing a hiss from Axel.
“These creatures, the ones made with your blood… they listen to me. They do what I say. They don’t have a choice. Soon, you won’t either,” he whispered. “I wonder, what will that do to your bond? To Alice?”
Axel swallowed and clenched his jaw.
“Do you think she’ll hear me too? Will she obey?” Roman laughed. His eyes glistened with angry tears. “Or will she still refuse to smile for me? Still looking at me with those angry, disgusted eyes.”
“Don’t you touch her!” Axel roared, pulling against the roots that held him.
Roman smiled and shook his head.
“I won’t,” he said. “You will.”
Axel gasped, pulling away from Roman.
Roman smiled and nodded, a tear escaping his eye.
“When you change… we’ll find her, and then you will be the one that hurts her,” Roman said, his voice breaking as another tear fell from his eyes. His jaw quivered as he struggled to hold his smile.
Axel felt his heart drop in his chest.
“You… you’re going to make me kill her?”
Roman clenched his jaw, swallowing as the pained expression took hold. Then, finally, he took a deep breath and looked back up at Axel with a crazed smile.
“I can’t,” he whispered. “So, you have to.”