676 They Could Find Peace in Each Other
Ashleigh refused to speak after her outburst. Bell tried to talk to her, but Ashleigh stared out the window silently. Finally, she moved to the chair and waited as the mattress was changed, but she said nothing.
Once the new bed was in place and made, Ashleigh pulled back the blankets and crawled into it, covering herself without a word. Bell sighed and left the room.
Knowing that Ashleigh was in pain, that she was struggling to readjust and accept that Caleb was gone, was one thing. But seeing her like this… wasn’t something that Bell ever expected to experience.
She went to Galen immediately, she told him what had happened, and he held her while they sat on the couch in his office. He had been very quiet as she told him what had happened. She could see that he was struggling with his own thoughts.
“She’s so angry,” Bell sighed. “I get it, I understand. It’s not fair… but dwelling on it isn’t going to help her move past it. Instead, she needs to try and focus on what she still has. Let us help her to heal.”
Galen gave a gentle smile.
“She’s struggling, Bell, but she’s dealing with it in her own way,” he said. “We all have our own way of processing the things we experience. The pain that we feel.”
Bell looked up at him.
“You,” he said, lifting her chin with his index finger and smiling, “push past, focus on something you can control or lose yourself in. You try to avoid the problem as long as possible until you have no choice. In many ways, you and Ashleigh have similar ways of coping.”
Bell scoffed.
“The main difference is that you are a healer, and she is a warrior,” he said. “You focus on everyone else around you, taking care of them, making them smile, never letting them see you cry.”
Bell looked away.
“Ashleigh,” Galen continued. “Looks for something she can fight. Something she can challenge and defeat to make the problem go away.”
He sighed.
“Caleb is gone,” he said softly. “But she didn’t see him fall. She didn’t feel his….”
Galen swallowed. His chest felt tight as he thought about the finality of the word death. Even if he had accepted that Caleb would not come back, the idea of his death was still too difficult to acknowledge.
“He was just gone,” he continued. “There was no final battle, no body to burn or mourn.”
Galen lowered his eyes.
“She doesn’t know how to reconcile that in her mind,” he smiled sadly. “To accept that he isn’t coming back… she has to give up on him. She must make the active decision to stop looking.”
Galen swallowed and took a deep breath.
“But if she holds on to the thought that she might be able to find him, to bring him back… she can look him in the eyes and tell him she never gave up.”
Bell reached her hand to his cheek, turning him to look at her.
“Are you all right?” she whispered.
Galen looked up at her. He swallowed the thick lump in his throat and put both hands on her cheeks. He pulled her close and kissed her. The soft warmth of her lips, the gentle touch of her tongue. Through her affection, he steadied himself.
He pulled away and hugged her, breathing her scent in for strength.
“Sometimes,” he whispered. “I worry what Caleb would think of my actions since he’s been gone…. Would he be disappointed with me? Would he look at me with eyes of betrayal and ask how I could give up on him?”
Bell pulled back to look into Galen’s eyes.
His beautiful pale green eyes were filled with tears and the pain of his own loss.
Bell took a breath; she tilted her head and gave him a sad smile.
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Galen swallowed and took a soft breath. He nodded.
Bell moved her hands into his hair, petting him while keeping his focus on her. She looked into his eyes with tenderness and care.
“And I think that if, by some miracle, he ever does come back… he will more than understand,” she whispered. “You didn’t give up on him, Galen, and neither did Fiona or anyone else. You moved forward, you had to, and he would have told you to if he could.”
Galen took a shaky breath and sniffled as hot tears gathered in his eyes and a painful heat spread in his chest.
“You’re right,” he whispered. “I know you are.”
Bell wiped the tears that escaped his eyes. She smiled at him.
“I’m always right,” she whispered.
Galen laughed and nodded.
“Of course,” he said. He leaned his head forward and placed it against her chest, taking a deep breath. Inhaling her scent and letting it soothe the pain in his heart.
Bell kissed the top of his head, petting his hair gently.
“Will you be all right, puppy?” she asked.
Galen squeezed his arms around her body.
“I just need another moment,” he whispered.
Bell smiled and leaned her head on top of his.
“Take all the time you want,” she whispered. “I’m not going anywhere.”
As they held each other, each found comfort in the other.
Where Bell had felt drained from being unable to help Ashleigh process her grief, she was recharged by Galen’s affection and the security she felt in his arms.
Where Galen felt guilt and sorrow at what he felt was a betrayal of his brother and best friend, Bell gave him comfort and understanding.
The world around them may have been filled with heartache and suffering, but together, they could find peace in each other.
Bell felt a sudden, painful grip tighten on her heart as the realization struck her.
‘Ashleigh won’t feel this again.’
She thought of all the moments she had felt at her lowest, and she saw no way out of the misery of her heart. In each of those moments, Galen had been the one to pull her from it. Renee, Roman. Even at the war’s end, as she worried that Axel might die and Galen himself was still missing. As that pain began to drag her down into the depths, he returned.
Her vision blurred as the tears pooled in her eyes.
‘It’s time for you to do your duty.’
The words she had so coldly said when she demanded that Ashleigh go to Summer because Galen was missing echoed loudly in her mind.
She remembered as she had realized that the communication lines were down. As she replayed the last conversations she had had with Galen and Fiona before it happened.
Bell had been out of her mind with fear and worry. She needed to know that Galen was all right. She needed a way to communicate. So, she had tossed her concerns about rapid healing out the window. Ignored that she knew Ashleigh had been pushing herself too hard and was already struggling under the pressure of the war and more than willing to put herself at risk. None of it had mattered because she needed Ashleigh to go to Summer and find Galen.
Bell swallowed and kissed Galen’s head once more. He felt her heartbeat increase. He felt the tension in her body.
Galen stroked her back and nuzzled against her chest. He knew that Bell would be able to understand Ashleigh at some point, and he knew it would hurt when she did. However, they didn’t need to talk about it now, so instead, he would hold her close with no intention of letting her go.