79 Her World Was Spinning
“You…?” Caleb asked, his voice was heavy. “What’s happening to me?”
He turned to face her, his hand reaching out for her. His fingertips hovered above her skin. Begging to touch her, to feel her softness with his own hands.
‘No…’ a quiet voice in his mind called out, ‘She doesn’t want this!’
He pulled his hand back as though it had been burned. Then, pushing Ashleigh away gently, he took several steps away from her. He shook his head, trying to clear away the desire and longing.
Ashleigh felt the cold surrounding her as he moved away. She wanted him to come back, to put his arms around her. Didn’t she?
She had gotten so scared that he was mad or hated her. For two hours, she could think of nothing but him. Ashleigh had cried for a long time after Galen and Caleb had disappeared.
She debated going to the hospital, but she thought he would still be angry. So, in the end, she chose to come here. No matter what, he would come here eventually. She had stood beside the tree for almost two hours, reminding herself that he would come back.
“What is wrong with me?” she asked again. Her voice was stronger this time.
“I don’t know,” he answered, closing his eyes to focus his thoughts. “Maybe it’s the full moon.”
“But that’s not until tomorrow,” Ashleigh replied through deep breaths.
“I don’t have any other answer you will accept,” Caleb said.
Ashleigh looked at him. He was leaning against the building now. Facing away from her.
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“Is it that difficult to figure out?” he asked, looking back over his shoulder.
She clenched her jaw.
‘Yes… arguing. If we argue, I can focus,’ Ashleigh hoped to herself.
“I guess I’m just not as smart as you, Summer wolves. Why don’t you spell it out for me?” she growled.
Caleb laughed.
“You know exactly what I mean,” he sighed, “you just want to fight.”
He turned himself around, resting his back against the wall. Putting his firm body on display for Ashleigh. Again, her heart began to beat faster.
“I can hear it, you know?” he smiled.
“What?” she asked, swallowing.
“Your heartbeat. The way it picks up when you look at me.”
His voice was different than usual. It was thick, deep. It sent a shockwave of warmth through Ashleigh from head to toe.
She took a step towards him, he smiled again. She stopped as an image surfaced in her mind.
Granger, smiling at her painfully on the hospital bed.
Looking away from Caleb, she reached her hands into her hair and pulled hard.
“Damn it!” she shouted.
“Ashleigh!” he called out, moving towards her.
“No!” she shouted quickly, stepping back. She put her hand up toward Caleb to keep him away. “Don’t!”
“But–“ Caleb tried to object.
“Don’t!” she screamed, tears beginning to pool in her eyes.
Her mind was jumbled. Images of Caleb, his sweet words, kindness, warmth. Granger, his romantic moments, passion, and devotion to her. She shook her head, trying to push them all away.
More images flooded her mind. Caleb’s coldness, hostility, the sound of his wolf howling angrily as she ran away. Granger’s possessiveness and jealousy. Her own tears in her room at night. The images came faster and faster, spinning and melding. Their faces overlapped. Pulling in and out like a twisted kaleidoscope of flesh and bone. ρꪖꪕᦔꪖꪕꪫꪣꫀꪶ
She fell to her knees. Tears streamed down her face.
“Ashleigh, please. Please! Tell me how to help you!” Caleb begged.
He, too, was down on his knees, only an arm’s length away from her, desperately hoping he could help her in any way.
“I don’t know,” she whispered, hugging herself and letting the tears fall, “I don’t know how to make it stop.”
“What?” Caleb asked, “what needs to stop?”
“I’m losing my mind!” she cried out painfully, “it’s too much. It’s all too much.”
Caleb felt tears rolling down his cheek. Seeing her like this was devastating. He wanted to hold her, to tell her it would be alright. But he couldn’t do that. She didn’t want him to.
“What’s too much?” he asked softly, hoping he could coax her into talking. Maybe it would help ease her pain.
“You…” Ashleigh whispered, “…him….”
Memories swirled to the surface of holding Caleb, his head in her lap as he slept peacefully. Granger in the forest, they laughed together. She sparred with Caleb and ran through the trees with Granger.
He pinned her roughly to a wall, he forced wet kisses on her throat, he bit at her like he would tear the flesh from her body.
His voice was filled with disappointment. He hated her, he hated her people, he hated her father.
“Who?” she asked out loud, the images and memories swirling together. Then, finally, she couldn’t separate them anymore.
“Who?” Caleb asked, “are you looking for someone? Come on, Ash, talk to me.”
Ashleigh looked around, but her vision was blurred. She felt heavy and hot everywhere. Granger’s face came once more into her mind, his bruised and bloodied face. The soft whimpers of pain and then his frightening words echoed in her ears.
‘… I thought he would kill me. Ash, the look he had, the glow in his eyes….’
“His eyes…” she whispered. Looking around for something, for someone.
“Ash, Ash, what’s going on?” Caleb called to her.
Ashleigh turned around. She looked at Caleb. The memory of his glowing grey eyes as he held her against the building overwhelmed her.
Her muddled fevered brain couldn’t put time and place together. Instead, all her memories were overlapping each other.
“You…” she hissed. “You tried to kill him!”
Ashleigh ran at Caleb. He was surprised, but he recovered quickly. He caught her by the waist as she jumped at him.
He tried to hold her back as he called her name, hoping to get her attention, to wake her from whatever had her in this state.
“Ashleigh!” he shouted.
She looked down at him and snarled. Then, pushing both legs down at him, she caught him in the chest and pushed off him. The movement sent him falling down to the ground while it gave her enough lift to throw herself back and land on her feet.
Caleb sat up. He looked at her. The look on her face was wild. There was no sign of the funny, happy, rational woman he loved. He needed to stop her before she hurt herself.
“Ashleigh! Listen to me! Something is wrong. We need to get you to the hospital!”
She ran at him full speed again. This time, he couldn’t stop her. She jumped into the air, and when he tried to catch her, she used her momentum to throw herself onto his back. Ashleigh wrapped her arm around him, trying to choke him. But he was able to slip his hand in to push against her. He threw her off once more.
Ashleigh stood up; Caleb prepared himself to block her again. Her world was spinning. She looked at him. The haziness all around her lifted for just this one moment to see him clearly.
“Caleb…” she whispered with a bright smile.
Caleb stood up straight. He saw her. He saw his mate.
“Ashleigh?” he called to her, but then she began to fall. “Ashleigh!”
Caleb dove for her, barely catching her before her head hit the ground.