Chapter 64
Chapter 64
The food in Jun Zishu’s hand quietly fell to the ground.
Fortunately, a wrapper protected the food, so it didn’t get dirty even though it fell to the ground. Afterward, the beggars by the roadside could pick it up and use it to fill themselves.
“Why did you personally come out to get me? Are we leaving now? Has stepfather already…”
“I’m sad, Yan Xi.”
Qian Xing had been up to his ears with work recently that he had to forcibly endure the sadness in his heart to handle the cult’s affairs.
He felt as if he was about to crumble because of the overwhelming sadness in his heart, so he needed someone who could help him vent his feelings and comfort him. However, apart from Jun Zishu, he could think of no other person who could do this for him. Everyone in the cult simply advised him to stay strong and told him that he couldn’t show his weak side to others now that he was the new cult leader. Thus, he left to search for Jun Zishu as soon as he got a reprieve.
“Don’t be sad.”
Jun Zishu had only ever messed with Qian Xing, so even after racking her mind, she only managed to come up with these crappy comforting words. Though, she felt that no words could help soothe Qian Xing’s current emotions.
…
When Shen Zheyan returned, she immediately spotted the teenage boy and girl embracing each other at the corner of the street.
Black and red intertwined with each other as the boy embraced Jun Zishu tightly.
Shen Zheyan stood still and quietly watched the scene. At this moment, her mind had seemingly stopped processing the sounds her ears picked up from her surroundings, focusing all of its attention on the sight her eyes saw.
Shen Zheyan saw that Jun Zishu wasn’t pushing the boy away. On the contrary, the girl was doing her best to tolerate and console the boy, her delicate hand gently patting the boy’s back.
She had clearly left for only a moment…
Shen Zheyan felt her heart grow cold as she looked at the scallion pancakes she deliberately bought for Jun Zishu. That feeling surfaced again as she watched Jun Zishu sharing intimate contact with another person. Why would such emotions appear if she was only trying to stay with Jun Zishu as a good friend and a big sister?
Whenever Shen Zheyan saw Jun Zishu acting close with another person, she couldn’t help herself from getting angry.
Tch, what an unpleasant sight to look at.
One time, two times, three times…
Shen Zheyan hated that she wasn’t behaving like herself. To be precise, she hated the dark thoughts in her mind.
Shen Zheyan felt that she was a good person. Thus, she strove to become a righteous warrior.
However, how could a righteous warrior harbor such thoughts? How could a righteous warrior think of imprisoning a delicate girl to ensure that she was the only person in the girl’s eyes?
Was this what it felt to love someone? Shen Zheyan did not know.
…
“We are leaving immediately,” Qian Xing stated as he let go of Jun Zishu.
“I want to say goodbye to a person first.”
After being freed from Qian Xing’s embrace, Jun Zishu looked toward Shen Zheyan, who stood a short distance away.
“Didn’t you only approach her because of my dad? Did you grow attached to her after interacting with her?”
When Qian Xing looked at Shen Zheyan, hostile feelings surfaced in his eyes.
“The relationship I share with her is not what you think. She is very important to me, and I have known her even before I’ve known you,” Jun Zishu explained things clearly to Qian Xing. She did not wish for him to become a hindrance in her relationship with Shen Zheyan in the future.
“What?”
Qian Xing was momentarily stunned. However, before he could ask any questions, Jun Zishu had already walked away.
When Shen Zheyan saw the girl dressed in red walking toward her, her eyes gradually regained their color. A smile had also slowly surfaced onto her face.
Shen Zheyan knew that Jun Zishu would be explaining the situation to her like she always did. At least…she thought the girl would…
“Big Sister Zheyan, something happened on my side, so I need to leave.”
The girl…was…leaving?
Shen Zheyan’s smile vanished, and she stared at Jun Zishu with an expressionless face.
“We will meet again if fate lets us. Or, you can wait for me at a place. Once I have settled things on my side, I will come and find you. It just so happens that I can also use this opportunity to get Yun Sheng’s things.”
“Okay,” Shen Zheyan subconsciously replied, her voice sounding a little dry.
“Let’s meet in Hangzhou, then.”
“Okay. We will meet in Hangzhou.” Shen Zheyan nodded. “How long?”
How long must I wait until I can see you again?
“Three months. I will be back in three months at the latest.”
“I will wait for you.”
It was only three months, Shen Zheyan told herself. It wasn’t long at all.
Shen Zheyan watched Jun Zishu walk away, a stinging pain lingering in her heart. Although the pain wasn’t intense, it was hard to ignore.
Afterward, Jun Zishu returned to the Demon Cult with Qian Xing, while Shen Zheyan journeyed back to Hangzhou City.
…
When Shen Zheyan arrived back in Hangzhou City, she came across Yun Sheng.
Yun Sheng was buying some things from a street stall, her wheelchair sticking out like a sore thumb in the crowd. However, she did not feel uneasy over the stares she received. Instead, she leisurely picked out the things she wanted to buy.
After thinking it over, Shen Zheyan decided to go over and greet Yun Sheng.
“Something seems to be bothering you, am I right?”
After sending Shen Zheyan a glance, Yun Sheng continued shopping while she chatted with Shen Zheyan as if she was talking to an old friend.
While Yun Sheng might look like a young girl on the surface, she had a maturity that matched her actual age. Thus, her manner of speech gave off a wise and easygoing feeling.
“There is indeed something confusing me.”
“Push my wheelchair for me while we talk. Owner, I’ll take this one.”
Yun Sheng’s first sentence was meant for Shen Zheyan, while her second sentence was for the stall owner. After taking out the necessary silver taels and handing them over to the stall owner, she took the hairpin she chose and signaled for Shen Zheyan to start moving.
In response, Shen Zheyan began pushing the wheelchair in the direction Yun Sheng pointed at.
“What kind of problem did you come across?”
“I’m having difficulty reading my heart.”
What exactly was she feeling annoyed over? What was she persisting for? What was she afraid of?
“Has she left?”
“Mhm. She has something to deal with. She is also going to retrieve the things you asked her for.” Yun Sheng nodded, a brooding expression appearing on her face. Then, she asked, “Can you be more specific? Perhaps I can help you resolve your troubles.”
The words Yun Sheng said using her soft and tender voice sounded ever so tempting to Shen Zheyan. Before Shen Zheyan realized it, she had already begun revealing her worries to the older woman.
In a low and gloomy voice, Shen Zheyan said, “I will feel happy whenever I see her smile. But whenever I see her getting close to other people, I will get angry and stop being myself.”
“Do you love her?”
Shen Zheyan hesitated for a moment.
Do I love her?
Probably.
Eventually, Shen Zheyan gave a positive response.
“Are you confused by your feelings?” Yun Sheng asked when she noticed the hesitance in Shen Zheyan’s voice.
“Mhm.”
Shen Zheyan had never held such fondness toward someone before. She did not reject Jun Zishu’s approach, and she would automatically memorize Jun Zishu’s smiles and Jun Zishu’s likes and dislikes. She also couldn’t bear to see Jun Zishu cry or get close to other people.
So, could this be considered love?
“Let’s make an assumption, then,” Yun Sheng suggested. Then, after a slight pause, she raised a finger and continued, “One day, she comes to tell you that she has found someone she loves. That person is also good to her, and she wants to marry that person. What would you think of it?”
Shen Zheyan tightly gripped the wheelchair’s handles, a suffocating feeling in her chest.
“Then, she gets married, and you two separate. Now that she has her own family, she naturally wouldn’t be able to stick around with you all the time. After more time has passed, she has a child, and she invites you to look at her child. What would you think of it?
“Later on, you two separate for a very long time and reunite on a fateful day. However, when she sees you again, she no longer looks at you with the same intense fondness she used to before. Instead, all she does is leave you with a ‘Long time no see’ before walking away. What would you think of it?”
Yun Sheng’s voice remained gentle as she described these three scenarios.
However, by the time Shen Zheyan was done listening to these scenarios, her body was already shuddering slightly, and she was having difficulty standing still. The intense pain that filled her heart caused her vision to flicker.
“I also hesitated when I first found out I loved her. I considered many things, but none of them managed to change my mind in the end.”
Yun Sheng began talking about her own story, and Shen Zheyan earnestly listened to it.
“Regret filled me many times after she passed. If I hadn’t argued with her at the time, she wouldn’t have stubbornly tried to achieve a breakthrough and died because of it.
“She has never said that she loved me before. I have never confessed my feelings for her, either. We simply stayed together while tacitly understanding each other’s feelings.
“At the very last moment, she confessed her feelings to me, and I cried as I hugged her. I told her that I, too, loved her and that I didn’t care about gender, family history, or social norms. However, just like how I failed to heal my legs, I failed to heal her as well.
“The only reason why I am still alive is because she hoped that I could treat myself well. Otherwise, I would’ve long since followed her.”
Yun Sheng laughed, her laughter containing deep traces of bitterness.
“Cherish what you have while you still can,” Yun Sheng somberly stated.
“Thank you, Senior. I understand now,” Shen Zheyan said in realization. Now, she started to anticipate her reunion with Jun Zishu.
What annoyed Shen Zheyan was seeing Jun Zishu flirt with others.
What worried Shen Zheyan was Jun Zishu’s unpredictability.
What scared Shen Zheyan was that Jun Zishu might not like her the way she liked her…
Moreover, while it might be true that the two of them had known each other since they were children, they had been separated for so many years. Now, they didn’t even know what kind of environment each other lived in.
Take the current situation, for example. Although Shen Zheyan knew that Jun Zishu had left on important business, she didn’t know where Jun Zishu had gone or what Jun Zishu had left to do. She also didn’t know who the young man accompanying Jun Zishu was. She knew nothing at all.
However, if things played out like the assumptions Yun Sheng described, Shen Zheyan felt that she probably wouldn’t be able to bear it.
“If you love her, you don’t need to be in a hurry,” Yun Sheng said, letting out a soft sigh. Then, she bid goodbye to Shen Zheyan and started wheeling her wheelchair herself.
Meanwhile, Shen Zheyan stood in place as she fell into thought. She understood what Yun Sheng was trying to say. The older woman was probably telling her that once she reunited with Jun Zishu after a long separation, if her feelings for the girl remained unchanged, she would be able to verify the feelings in her heart.
…
Meanwhile, over at the Demon Cult, after Little Fairy told her about the conversation between Shen Zheyan and Yunsheng, Jun Zishu visited Qian Yun’s grave and kowtowed before it.
Her stepfather pampered her to the heavens because she had a sweet mouth and worked hard in her training. The members of the cult also treated her very well.
“Stay here and help me,” Qian Xing said as he looked at Jun Zishu, who was helping her organize sect documents.
“Don’t even think of squeezing me dry,” Jun Zishu said as she stuck out her tongue at Qian Xing. She behaved just like she normally did around Qian Xing.
“Where would you go if you don’t stay here?”
“None of your business.”
“My dad told me that the Saintess is the cult leader’s arms and legs. Also…”
“Also, what?”
“The Saintess is also the cult leader’s wife,” Qian Xing said, his face blushing in embarrassment.
“Blah, blah, I can’t hear you~”
“Yan Xi!”
With the wonderful atmosphere ruined, the young man’s embarrassment turned into anger.
“I’m sorry, but I already have someone I like.”