Chapter 156 - Heart-to-Heart
As Sam had been very co-operative, they dealt with the first half of the Initiation much smoother than expected. Thus, they headed back to Xing Han and Kyle's dorm room before curfew. In their room, Kyle made sure to lock the door and flung some towels at Ali and Sam.
It didn't take long for all of them to bathe and change. Kyle and Xing Han were on their respective beds while Ali and Sam were on the floor. All of them were lying down and the lights were out. It was a habit of theirs for any 'heart-to-heart' talk. It was easier to speak what was in your heart and mind when it's dark and you're relaxed.
They were all quiet at first. Mainly, to allow Sam to start but no one was in any hurry to start.
Sam was thinking hard about how to even begin the question. He was curious but he wasn't sure whether what he felt was normal or not. If it was abnormal then what would that make him? A pervert?
"How did you cope with the hormonal imbalance?" Sam asked tentatively.
"What do you mean?" asked Xing HanKyle replied, "The stiffness? The fact that it would go hard when you least expect it? Choosing the right underwear so that your hard-on doesn't show? What?"
Sam was flabbergasted, "Xing Han, I didn't think you'd be that horny all the time!"
"Actually, at this stage, one doesn't have to be turned on to get hard," Kyle clarified, "Sometimes it just happens."
"It's that bad?" Sam asked.
"I don't have that problem actually," Kyle said, "Mine is more of the fact that I need to adjust often. These darn b*lls are annoying as heck, too."
Kyle thought girls had it tough with boobs but guys had their own problems as well.
"You learn to adjust in secret," Ali chimed in, "I do the old 'under the desk' move."
"Hah," Kyle replied, "The trusty 'hands in pocket' move is better."
"Yeah, but if the girls ever knew what you're really doing when your hands are in your pocket ..." Ali said with a laugh.
"I'm too cool to get caught," Kyle snorted.
"So what do you do when you get ... pulled towards a girl?" Sam asked.
"Pulled? You mean, attracted to?" Xing Han asked back.
"No, not really attracted to," Sam denied, "Just that your body reacts to that person."
"You get turned on?!" Xing Han exclaimed, sitting up on the bed.
"NO!" Sam said loudly, but not too loud, "I don't mean that! Argh. Kyle, you should know what I mean. Like, how you kissed back that girl who kissed you."
"Oh. Yeah. You mean like that," Xing Han said while pursing his lips and lay back down.
"KISSED A GIRL!?" Ali shouted.
"SSSSHHHH!!" Kyle hissed, "This room is not sound proof you know! Keep it down before Matron gets at us."
Kyle darted to the left, avoiding Ali who reached out to grab him. Even though it was dark, Kyle could sense his movement and evaded him easily. He could hear Ali tapping the bed several times in an attempt to find him.
"What is this kissing a girl business? Why am I the only one who doesn't know about it?!" Ali hissed as he pounced onto the bed.
Kyle kicked out his leg, catching Ali on the chest and he replied, "It just came out the other day, okay? You weren't around so it's not like I was going to go spread the news after that, right?"
"Yeah, it was after the Student Council interview, Ali," Xing Han said, "Kay wanted to know what french kissing was like."
Ali reached to grab Kyle's foot and Kyle nimbly avoided it and placed Ali in a choke hold on the bed. Both of them were grunting as one attacked and the other defended. Kyle now had Ali's arms twisted behind him and his head was pressed on the pillow, and Kyle's knee was on Ali's back.
"Say uncle!" Kyle hissed into Ali's ear.
When Ali refused at first, Kyle put a little more pressure and Ali hissed in pain, "Uncle! Uncle!!"
Kyle let him go.
"Yeesh, Ali," Kyle said as he leaned on the wall while sitting on the bed. Ali sat next to him, rubbing his arms.
"Dangnabbit," Ali cursed, "You're not human, Kyle. Seriously? You enter puberty first. You are the first to kiss a girl. French kiss, no less and I can't even win you in a fight? I've been training since young!!"
"So have I," Kyle said, "Anyway, this isn't about me. As you were saying Sam, before this neanderthal interrupted us?"
Ali punched him in the shoulder and this time, Kyle didn't avoid it.
"Freak," Ali said with a slight laugh.
"You said you kissed her back even though you had no feelings for her," Sam continued, "You've never been the type to do such a thing. You're always so meticulous about how you treat girls. Even though you have these girls - and even women - flinging themselves at you, you never succumb. How do you do it? How do you deal with fighting the temptation?"
Kyle coughed in embarrassment and he rubbed the back of his neck. He took a deep breath and confessed, "There was never any temptation in the first place."
"Oh, come on Kyle," Ali said with a pffft, "We've seen how those girls literally rub themselves on you. You've never been tempted even once?"
Kyle had to think fast. The kiss never really happened in this life so he had to figure out how to explain that kiss with what he truly was feeling in this life.
"Well, the only reason why I returned the kiss was purely out of curiosity," Kyle said after a while, "It was something new and that was my first kiss. But I've never had any desire to kiss anyone, really."
"As for all of those girls flinging themselves at me?" Kyle muttered, "Frankly, I felt nothing other than ... I don't know how to describe it. It isn't disgust. It's more like an annoyance?"
They were still kids in Kyle's eyes, and he was a girl before, so having those boobs pressed against him didn't really cause any sort of reaction to him. He wasn't sure whether this was because his mind was still female to a certain extent, so that it affected his male body functions, or if it meant that he would never be attracted to girls.
He wasn't attracted to guys either, so he wasn't homosexual. He didn't know what he was, but he felt that he had plenty of time to figure that out.
"Seriously Kyle? When those really soft orbs of flesh press against you, you feel nothing? You don't feel like just grabbing them or something? Instead, you just feel annoyed?" Ali asked incredulously, "What are you? A saint? Or gay?"
"I didn't get turned on by looking at your d*cks either, remember, so I don't think I'm gay," Kyle pointed out, "I just don't get turned on. Maybe I haven't met the right person yet. Maybe I'm asexual. Who knows?"
"Perhaps Ali is a better person to ask," suggested Kyle, "After all, he has 10 beauties that he has to mix with. You're not attracted to them at all?"
Ali pondered, "I suppose there are a few that I am physically attracted to. I mean, I have to view them as a potential bride so one of the things I need to consider is whether we are sexually compatible."
"What do you mean, 'sexually compatible'? Do you seriously need to be sexually compatible? It's sex!" Xing Han exclaimed.
"It is true that the perception is that girls would only engage in physical intimacy when they have feelings for the other person whereas for a guy, they can bang anyone, anytime," Sam said, "That's why us guys often just get labeled as 'thinking with our d*cks' all the time."
"I guess we don't really need much to excite us," Ali conceded, "But you do have preferences, don't you? Like big boos or small boobs and stuff like that. If I don't find her physically appealing, can I marry her even if she's a nice person?"
"But if you love her, naturally wouldn't making love be a given?" Sam asked.
"Yes, if I loved her," Ali said, "Unfortunately, I don't love any of them. There's no such badump badump thing in my heart so I need to be more practical about it."
"Wait, I'm getting side-tracked," Sam muttered, "This is not what I was asking about."
"Yeah, you were wondering how to control yourself," Kyle said, "Is this about Betty?"
"Yes," Sam replied, "But how did you know it was about Betty?"
"Xing Han said he saw you with her in your arms and how you got all possessive when Xing Han hit on her," Ali said with a smirk that no one could see.
"She fell! I just caught her! There was nothing to it at all," Sam denied vehemently, "And I was NOT possessive."
"Yes, you were," Xing Han countered, "You ran off with her."
"I just didn't want you to tease her," Sam explained, "She's a really innocent girl."
"That's jealousy right there," Xing Han said with a laugh, "When has my teasing anyone bothered you?"
"It did not bother me," Sam denied, "She's Beatrice's cousin so you're not allowed to bully her."
"Only you can bully her?" Kyle teased.
"Yes. Wait, no! I didn't mean it that way!" Sam said in exasperation, "Okay, I know my behaviour is not rational when it comes to her and that is why I need your help!"
"I find myself doing all these insane things and that's so unlike me," Sam continued, "I find myself not being able to think straight when she's around. My body reacts before my mind can think properly. It's so aggravating to be like this. I find myself being so distracted, so affected by my inability to control my body that I even ... I ... I ... "
He sighed loudly, putting an arm over his forehead, "I almost kissed her."
All three gasped loudly.