Chapter 67 - Healing
Kay and Kyle took one week off from school, on the pretext that there was a family emergency. Master Shifu had been registered as their guardian and he had personally come to the school to submit the leave application. Principal Godric was worried and had been burning to ask why, but it was too personal a reason and he wasn't close to them. So he had to swallow the words in his throat and show his concern.
As a result of their leave, Principal Godric also delayed the announcement for the new school revamp as there was one particular person he needed to talk to first. He didn't like to force people, though he could be quite heavy handed on things he felt passionately about. He watched Master Shifu go out and shelved the idea for a while.
At least it meant he had been given more time to focus on the logistics. Principal Godric was an opportunist and one who would always try to see things in a positive light. Although he was the type to go in with guns-ablazing, he wouldn't be doing so without some proper planning.
No one, except the Elite Five, knew that the Smith Twins were actually at Master Shifu's house. The more that people knew, the more likely it was for them to know something had happened to Kay and that was something no one wanted. Kay just wanted to stay among her family and heal, rather than have to explain herself to other people. As close as she was to Sarah, it wasn't the same as how she was with the Elite Five and Master Shifu.
In the first two days, Kay seemed to revert back to being a child, always clinging on to Kyle as if she was seeking comfort. He would indulge her whims and pamper her endlessly. At night, they would sleep together as it was the only way that she could feel safe. Kyle was her bolster, just like when they were younger, as she hugged him tightly.
She would have nightmares and whimper at times but the moment Kyle hugged her close, she would calm down and fall back asleep. Kyle's heart was so pained at all of this. Kay was too young to experience such a thing. He had tried to protect her but he failed. He wished he could turn back time again and smash Jason's face before he even harboured such thoughts about Kay. She's only 13, for fu** sake!
Worse, he hadn't even equipped her with the most basic skills to defend herself. He had been blind in that aspect, always thinking that they would be together and he'd be there to protect her. She hadn't shown any interest in learning any martial arts before so he never insisted, and he regretted that.
On the second night, as Kay cuddled to Kyle on the bed, Kyle finally had the courage to ask her, "Do you want your memories of that day to be erased?"
Kay didn't have to think about it as she shook her head vehemently, her hair flying in Kyle's face. "No."
"But-"
"No buts. At first, I did think about asking, really but then ... well, I have always believed that everything happens for a reason. You were reborn for a reason. You were reborn as my twin for a reason. No matter how bitter the experience was, there is a reason for it. I have to learn from it and be stronger for it. If I forget it, the pain might be gone but so would the things I gained from it."
"Things you gained?" Kyle asked curiously, "Like what?"
Kay snuggled closer to Kyle, burying her head in the crook of his neck as she answered, "Our bond, for one. It's something that I don't think about or even wonder about because it's as natural and a part of me as breathing. You don't think about how you breathe, you just do. But our twin bond is rather unique, I would think. You're my twin yet not my twin. Your mind is different and you have a past but I don't."
Kay took a deep breath as she tried to articulate her thoughts, "It was getting a bit frustrating without me realising it. I felt as if we were drifting apart as we grew older. It made me frantic and my desire to prove myself stemmed from there."
Her voice trailed softer as she said barely in a whispter but Kyle heard it nonetheless, "I didn't want to be left behind."
Kyle rubbed her back comfortingly and sighed, "I get you. I took it for granted as well. When I think about it, I guess ... when we were younger, it was easier. I was the older one and you depended on me and followed me around like a little chick. Basically, clinging and clucking. "
"HEY!" Kay protested, smacking his chest. Kay felt his chest shake as he laughed and she hugged him tighter.
"But you're not a little chick anymore. I lost sight of that. I kept seeing you as someone that needed protecting. I STILL want to protect you but I also know that you need to be you."
"I don't want to be in the shadows, Kyle," Kay stated, "I want to be by your side. I want to be your sword or shield, whichever it is - just like how you are for me."
Kyle took a deep breath and felt conflicted.
There was one thing about being reborn that is never touched or talked about. What makes a person who they are? When a baby is born, they are an empty sheet of paper but the foundation is there. Their characteristics are taken from their parents: intelligence is inherited from the mother and emotions are inherited from the father.* However, the environment and their experiences will also shape the person so it does not mean that the child will be a carbon copy of their parents. The basics were from them but the end result is not.
So for Kyle - he had his own views and beliefs already from his past 40 years of life. As a woman. Things he learned, things he experienced. In this life, it was different. He was more prone to anger as compared to before and there was no doubt that he is much more intelligent. Partly due to his mother's genetics and partly due to the reborn aspect.
So Kyle isn't the same as Kylie. It's like ... Kylie was the vanilla sponge cake mix but then, the chocolate mix of Kyle was stirred in. However, the chocolate mix did not overpower the vanilla mix. Instead, it became a pattern within like a marble cake. When you cut a slice, you may get more chocolate or vanilla.
That was what Kyle found life was like. At times, he felt more like Kylie when it came to how he treated Kay. He imposed his own views and thoughts about how to take advantage and go ahead in life as a woman yet it may not be the best path for Kay. It may have been for him then, but it was not the same for Kay. She has a different temperament and a different background.
He needed to let her find out for herself. There were many times he acted more like a mother rather than a brother. It was this incident that made him realise this and he knew, as they grew older, it would only be more difficult for him to reconcile "Kyle" and "Kylie". He had to focus on his current life and the future from that, and not let his past life interfere. The main thing was: to be Kay's support and guide. To help, not dictate. To show, not decide.
In short, to let go.
Kyle groaned.
It will be hard. He has to look at her properly and see the woman she is becoming. One thing he won't change or even try to stop is how he feels whenever Kay is involved. That surge of anger to punch someone who hurt her. That feeling of protectiveness to ensure that she is kept safe. The intense happiness whenever he sees her smile. He can't help that part and he knew that was 'Kyle' and twin bond. It was 'Kylie' that needed to be suppressed.
"Okay, Kay. We will work together to be together," Kyle said.
Kay listened to his voice which seemed to become more mesmerizing somehow and she was feeling so relaxed with his voice and hands massaging her head. She heard him say in her ear as she fell asleep, "May the pain and disgust of Jason's act be a memory."
Kay mumbled something and went into deep sleep.
As Kyle watched Kay's eyelids grow heavier until it slowly closed and she fell into a deep sleep, he whispered as he kissed her forehead, 'I'm sorry, Kay. Just this once to help you bear with the pain.' He would be lying if he said he did it just for her. It was for him, as well. He died a little bit each time she cried in her sleep, each time he saw her tremble when the memories came, each time she clung to him.
He hugged her tight, his eyelashes wet with unshed tears. If she hated him for the hypnosis, then so be it. He wouldn't tell her about it anyway but he would be prepared if she found out.
He didn't erase her memories, but simply gave her an additional layer of protection. Each time she thought about the day, the pain she may feel would be muted or less. It's like when a person hits you lightly, you would feel the pain but you can bear it. That's what Kyle had done. He didn't stop the punch but he made the force of the punch, less.
That night, Kay didn't have nightmares.