Chapter 395 Sorrowful Thoughts
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As I came out of the bath, I ran back to my room and dried myself. I decided to wear a dress that Julia bought for me, I looked quite noble lady-like with it, and it truly made me quite happy. I’ve always dreamed of being a noble in my previous life. Like all those privileged women I saw in the Otome games I used to play, or just in some medieval fantasy romance setting stories… Oh well, I actually got my wish after dying, but I ended dying again due to the schemes of some bastards. And now I am a ghost and went through my good deal of shit myself to the point where I am right now.
After discussing things with myself for a while, I decided to quickly gather everybody after breakfast to talk about what I had in mind. This time I brought all the adults that I thought had a high level of responsibility in this village. Of course, Lucifer, Emeraldine, and Partner were with me, but I had invited the three dwarves, the Goblin Chief and the Elder and Syllis. Catarina wasn’t here because she was going out in a few days from now, I had already told everybody that I was letting her go and do as she pleased, it could be said to be my gift of “gratitude” to her.
“I get that you’re worried about the entire village’s development and all, lass, but why call us all here?” Asked Darfu.
“Yeah, what’s going on?” Baldur.
“Are we that important?” Asked Balladur.
“You guys are really important, you’re already part of the town and a big help to everybody, so of course I called you here. And well, what I wanted to talk about is…”
I explained everything I had in mind to everybody around me, as they quickly understood my indecisiveness. I wanted to use their help, make them something like a “council” that can give me the aid I need to make a decision of what to do now.
“Hm, so you want to get that done in less than a year, it’s gonna be hard, but the easiest thing you could do right now is going to our Kingdom.” Said Darfu.
“Yeah, if you go there you can gather clues about the dragon, we know a few things going on in there, so there might be some traces of what you’re looking for.” Said Baldur.
“Alongside that, we got some connections with the ice giants as dwarves, so you could find more clues about this “Tear” girl or whoever she is.” Said Balladur.
“I agree with the three of them, Lady Maria.” Said Syllis. “Although I do agree that searching for your lost brother would be a thing to prioritize over everything else, he had gone to a faraway nation and it seems that without proper clues, you won’t really find much of an answer for now… It would be better to wait for that Duchess to give you more information. Requesting a special spy to search for them might also be a good idea.”
“Hm, it might be painful but we should go there.” Said Emeraldine.
“If it were up to you I would bring you there immediately.” Said Lucifer. “But I understand that without any clues, we’ll be looking around too much hopelessly, especially because you lack a proper image of the boy at his current age.”
“True…” I sighed.
“For now we should go to the farms…” Said Partner. “And after a sizable rest, we’ll go to the dwarves. How about it?”
“I think it is alright, yeah.” I said with a nod. “I think that’s enough…”
I sighed a bit, feeling slightly down.
“You can go now, sorry to bother you guys with this… I think I need a bit of a time alone.” I said, as I quickly transformed into phantasmal essence and flew away.
“W-Wait, Maria!” Lucifer called for me but I went to the rooftop of the castle by myself.
The cold breeze was quite calming.
I looked into the horizon while sitting over the top of the castle.
The clouds covering the sky, and the snowy mountains at the distance decorated this beautiful winter scenery with a lot of natural grace.
I knew it was like that, I knew that there wasn’t a chance I would find him like this. I had asked the System, there were special skills that I could buy named [Tracking] and [Search] but none of them would help me find anybody unless I’ve already seen them or touched them.
All the portraits of our family were burned alongside our manor, according to what Julia investigated. So I don’t even know how my little brother looks like right now.
In fact, I have little idea how I actually looked like while I was alive. Partner surely looks way too different, so I doubt I would had looked like her.
It just… It really kind of saddens me.
I… I know I should be facing things more maturely, and I am.
But even then, it is hard to contain my emotions.
Even more when I am a ghost, driven by madness and resentment.
Even now, as I’ve evolved so far, this resentment, this madness, and this dark abyss of negative emotions continue to grow larger and larger, like an endless void.
Maybe because I am a ghost, I might be pretty strong… but also, even now, I feel so empty sometimes.
My existence… Undead are really like this, huh?
I am glad that Lucifer and Partner were able to evolve into “living” species.
Perhaps they no longer feel this emptiness anymore… I hope.
Will I really be able to evolve into something that can be alive? I have no body unlike them.
What flesh can I even get? What can I even become now?
I wish I could remember who I was… I wish… I could remember the face of my family.
Without realizing it, I was crying.
Are these tears… even real?
“Maria…”
Suddenly, I heard the voice of Lucifer behind me, and I saw him, Partner, and Emeraldine.
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