236 A different Jin (2)
Jin’s closeness came so suddenly that Shui’s breaths got out of sync. Now that she had admitted to herself that she liked Jin, she was even more conscious around him, especially when the distance between them would be so narrow like what they had now.
She inhaled to calm herself and looked up at him. His deep black eyes were staring right back at her with concentration but also with an indecipherable emotion. “What?” Her question was more of a whisper.
“Would you not like it if I like Zhou Ai?” Jin repeated.
Shui stiffened, and the discomfort in her eyes was discernible but only for a few moments. “Why…why are you asking me that?”
Jin bent closer to the point that she could smell his scent and feel his breaths on her forehead. She was noticeably trembling, which she was trying her best to stop.
He chuckled. “It looks like you are not in much favor of my feelings for Zhou Ai. Do you want me to apologize to him because you think I hurt him or because you want me to give up on her?”
Shui blinked and said after giving it a thought, “Can it not be for both? You were harsh to Jun. You…you made it sound like his feelings were fickle for me, and they never were. It must have crushed his heart to hear such words from his brother. As for Zhou Ai, it would be for the best if you give up on her. Jun and Zhou Ai love each other. They are happy with each other. There is no point-“
He cut her off, a mocking laughter escaping his lips. “There is a third secret question too. Do you want me to apologize to him because you want me to give up on Zhou Ai so that…you would feel relieved since you like me?”
Shui froze. The words dropped upon her like a bomb. With a gaze filled with disbelief, she stared at him. “What a-are you…” heat flushed in her neck and cheeks, her heart thumping like loud drums.
“Hm? Will you say that it’s not the truth?”
It caught her off guard, and she was unable to speak.
How does he know…? Did Jun tell him? No, no. He wouldn’t do that.
She gasped when his finger lightly brushed the tip of her ear.
Jin bored his eyes into her panicking gaze. “You don’t want me to be with Zhou Ai because you like me. You like me, right?”
“I…” her mind was in a disarray. Sure, she had admitted it to herself that she liked Jin, but she wasn’t ready yet to confess her feelings. Not when there were such tensions between Jun and their families.
The gap between them kept only lessening with how Jin pressed his body against hers. “Say it already. I just want to hear it from your lips.”
He laid her feelings bare, and she had nowhere to escape. It wasn’t her intention to bring her feelings into this discussion today. But her heart couldn’t help but anticipate his response if she did admit it.
Since Jin br-brought it out, does that mean he wants to give us a chance? She breathed hard, clutching the hem of her dress.
“I am waiting.”
His husky voice echoed in the air, and she blushed harder. “I…I…do.”
It were just two words, but it was incredibly difficult getting them across. It felt like a mountainous task to her.
“I li-like you, Jin…” she had an urge to run away, but she couldn’t with Jin blocking her way.
There was complete silence. She was so jittery and tense that she had no courage to meet his eyes and face him. She waited and waited, but there was no response from him, making her heart burst into more apprehensiveness.
The silence finally broke with a peal of his laughter.
Shui blinked. Her countenance was marred with confusion. She slowly raised her head to see him chuckling at her.
“Why are you laughing?” She didn’t know why but that uneasy feeling gripped her heart again. Jin looked different to her. His gaze and words felt as if he was mocking her.
Jin pinched her chin and lifted it towards him. “But I hate you, Han Shui.”
She froze.
The smile on his lips vanished only to be replaced by an iciness and cruelty that she never witnessed before. The grip on her chin tightened, making her yelp in pain. “Jin…”
“I hate you, Han Shui.”
The words fell on her for a second time.
“You like me. But I hate you. I hate you from the bottom of my heart.”
She shuddered hard.
“Jin…” she nervously laughed, “What are you-“
“Sshh,” he squinted his eyes, “Don’t annoy me with your interruption. It will only make me hate you even more. So, be quiet and know this. Throw away all your feelings you have for me. I hate you. Even if you are the last woman on this planet, I won’t ever be with you.”
Her vision blurred, and a lump formed in her throat. She felt the hatred from his words that pierced her heart like thorns. All her thoughts came to a halt.
“That’s why don’t tell me what I should do and what I shouldn’t. This is the last time I came to meet you because I don’t want you bothering me with your nonsense again and again. Since I can clearly see that you and Bro Jun won’t be together, I don’t need to keep on my ‘nice’ act with you anymore.”
She trembled.
Jin let go of her chin and withdrew his towering figure from above her. He dusted his hands and smiled. “It was nice knowing you, Han Shui. But I hope you don’t call me again, or I will break your heart into even more pieces than I did today.”
He glanced at the eatables she had ordered. “I don’t think you would be in a position to pay, so the bill is on me. Goodbye.”
“Ji-Jin…” she found her strength to speak his name amidst her tears, but it was already too late as Jin turned on his heels and left.
She blankly stared at the emptiness and collapsed back on her seat, defeated with the five cruel words resounding in her ears.
‘I hate you, Han Shui.’