392 The first night of distance
The door shut behind with her with a thud, leaving Ai standing in front of the room where only stillness accompanied her. Her heart was strangely beating faster, and her eyes were slightly blurring with tears. The push at the end felt lonely and distant. It wasn’t like they hadn’t had disagreements before but this time, it felt different and too agonizing.
Somewhere, she felt that Jun was right but at other places, she also thought that she couldn’t agree with him. She didn’t wish to end this night with the wall of clashes and arguments separating them. She looked back at the tightly shut door with a hint of helplessness.
Maybe he will come out after sometime…
She nodded. It was better to have some time for themselves so that both could cool down and talk calmly the next time.
Ai slowly walked up to the crescent swing in silence. She put one knee on it to climb on it with a faint anxious feeling knocking on her chest. She took support and eventually climbed inside after a few tries.
Her face was lit up with pride and joy. “Jun look, I climbed on my own-“
But Jun wasn’t there to share her happiness with, and her enthusiasm met with only silence. Ai pursed her lips, her shoulders drooping.
Once he comes out, he will definitely notice my achievement, Ai reassured herself.
She leaned back inside the swing, staring at the ceiling above. She quietly and calmly reflected upon a lot of things that happened in these last few days. Slowly, steadily, she thought about the events from all the perspectives she could and came to a conclusion.
Her eyelids slowly felt heavy, but she slapped her cheeks to stay awake because she knew that Jun would soon come out to talk again.
—
The air inside the room was grimmer and tense as Jun trembled with anger and pain. He looked down at his hand that had pushed Ai away with his beautiful eyes that were clouded with guilt.
It was the first time he had pushed her away from him, not…pulled her towards him for a hug. He clenched his fingers, wanting to stop this uneasy feeling from hammering his chest.
He wanted Ai so badly. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to wrap her body around his and rest his head on top of hers to have a sound sleep.
But there was a part of him who couldn’t let go of whatever was happening between Yating and Ai.
It’s that feeling again…
He sat on the edge of the bed, tired.
I hate it. I hate this feeling so much.
Since when was it that Jun was beginning to feel troubled like this?
From the time at the hospital? When Ai went to Yating’s home?
No.
The first bell of uncertainty and restlessness rang in his heart when Ai met Yating at the hotel during Zixin’s get-together party. Something faintly resonated within him, and it wasn’t a good feeling.
It was when Ai revealed Yating’s plan of making a company for her.
It was when he learned that the reason why Yating ignored her in the past was because he had dedicated his time and energy into this surprise project.
It was when he realized that Yating…wasn’t as bad as they had originally thought him to be.
Jun covered his face in his palms, trying to shut out all the ugly emotions. But it always came back to Yating and Ai.
With this one thing that came out in the open, they had to conclude that there might have been a different reason for Yating breaking up with Ai, which would most likely be linked to Guiying. Not necessarily because he had stopped loving Ai or he got seduced by Guiying.
And this was the cognizance that stirred Jun for the first time in a way that settled a bitter taste in his mouth. It was like the reason they hated Yating suddenly vanished into thin air.
Which meant that there was a possibility of Ai’s relationship with Yating improving. A chance that they might become friends again.
This was what Jun didn’t wish to happen from the bottom of his heart. He felt a sense of crisis coming even though he knew he could trust Ai. There was nothing that would take her away from him. Even if Yating had his reasons, Ai would never waver.
But that annoying feeling kept buzzing in his heart constantly. Then the intensity increased more violently when he came to know that the reason why Yating couldn’t save Ai from falling in the past was attributed to his trauma.
Once again…yet again, a side of Yating’s came into the picture that further substantiated him not being evil at all.
Jun chose not to express it in the hospital in front of Ai, but he was rattled hard. He felt a looming and impending feeling which solidified when Ai rushed to Yating’s home to help him.
Why…why, why, why?
He trembled.
Was it because Ai’s heart was melting for him without her notice?
But he felt stupid.
No, no, no! Ai is not like that…Ai won’t leave me for Yating. It’s impossible. I am an idiot.
It won’t happen, it won’t happen…
Jun didn’t even realize it when he was beginning to console and reassure his heart. He didn’t know when that tiny seed of disturbance took root in his heart which tonight grew its branches as Yating’s feelings for Ai came out in the open.
Everybody knew now.
What would they think? That Jun snatched Ai away from Yating?
Or maybe that Yating and Ai look better together than he and Ai?
Jun gritted his teeth hard.
Why am I thinking of these things!? The hell I care about what the world thinks!
He collapsed on the bed, mumbling to himself as his eyelids tiredly shut themselves.
“Ai is mine…No matter what anyone says, I can be the only one to make her happy…”