599 Every revelation (19)
The room was filled with such an eerie silence that it was enough to send chills across everybody’s spine. Shi Shuren cried with remorse and Zhan Yahui felt as if she lost the ability to feel any emotion. The poisonous words hovered in her ears, but she couldn’t make any sense of them.
“It was my fault…it was my fault…” Shi Shuren collapsed on the floor, his palms covering his face and becoming moist with his tears. “I was horrible to her. I became too selfish and hurt her…It’s all my fault that she lost her child…”
Ai shut her eyes, helpless. It was just as she and Jun suspected.
Zhan Kai-Ming lost her child not because of the stress of her new life but the stress of an assault…And not just by anyone but the man she once loved, tears brimmed her eyes.
“A f-few days later, I learned that she…” he shook, “she was no more. Sh-She had killed herself…”
“What the hell was wrong with you!?” Jun grabbed the collar of his shirt, green veins appearing on the back of his fair hand but his cheeks pinkish with indignation. “What were you thinking!? You were right that you had no right to treat Zhan Kai-Ming that way! You acted cowardly your whole life but got furious at a woman who showed the strength to move forward? Do you have any idea what she must have felt!”
Jun trembled as he felt choked in his throat. “Whether it was Ouyang Haitao or you towards Zhan Kai-Ming or Lu Long towards Sun Bai, every one of you three only acted like an ass towards the woman they should have treated with care and respect. And after everything that happened because of you, you still had the nerve to continue living as if it had nothing to do with you!”
“N-No! That’s not the truth!” His eyes ached as he met Jun’s ferocious gaze. “I committed a sin. I-I lost Kai-Ming forever. I made her go through such hell t-that…she felt that ending her life was the only option. My entire world had shattered. I felt like killing myself too…H-How could I have forgiven myself for that…? I was a mess! But…but there was Yahui. She was the l-last…” he gasped, “person in this world left for me who reminded me of Kai-Ming…My daughter who I…” he clenched his jaw, “who got left all alone because of a blunder that I made…I…wanted her back.”
Zhan Yahui didn’t react to any of that and simply stared at the ground, motionless.
“I had already abandoned them once. I d-didn’t want to abandon her once again…” he shut his eyes, his warm tears sliding down his cheeks, “b-but I didn’t find Yahui anywhere…When I came to know about Kai-Ming’s suicide, I immediately went back because I wanted to take Yahui with me. But I didn’t find her anywhere. I searched for her like crazy, but she had just…disappeared. The only person remaining who I wanted to hold on to had vanished too…” he broke down.
“It was nine years later that Yahui suddenly appeared before the Shi family. I was so, so happy…” his gaze looked faraway as if remembering the distant past, “I hadn’t stopped looking for Yahui’s whereabouts the whole time, but I couldn’t find her at all. I thought that I had lost her f-forever too just like Kai-Ming…Nothing was left…
But Yahui came back one day and I-I couldn’t be happier…But she had no interest in me,” he sadly smiled. “Of course I don’t blame her. I was the most horrendous person to her mother and her. It was fine to me even if she treated me like garbage…I only cared that at least my daughter was still alive…and I would do anything to keep her by my side this time.”
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Shi Shuren gave a lifeless smile. “Shares are nothing compared to how much I…desperately wanted to compensate for Yahui. I know that it’s a stupid thought. My betrayal and Kai-Ming’s death cannot be compensated in any way but when…Yahui wanted those shares from me, I didn’t want to reject her. Even if…even if by an infinitesimal point, I had a chance to redeem myself, I wanted to grab it at any cost…”
He exhaled slowly, feeling powerless. “I even knew that she was back to take revenge from me. I didn’t know about any of her plans against the Liu family. The bitterness that Yahui showed…I only thought that she returned to take revenge from me. To destroy the man who ruined Kai-Ming and her happy life. And I was ready for it because I deserved it…”
Ai coldly shot back. “And did Huan deserve it too? Your daughter who had nothing to do with the cruelty and cowardice you showed in the past…was it fair of you to treat her like an invisible person and let her get dragged into this fire by Zhan Yahui? A revenge against you meant a revenge against the Shi family. Against Shi Zhelan and Shi Huan too. You felt guilty towards Zhan Yahui but not towards Huan? You wanted to compensate for your sins but by sacrificing your wife and daughter’s lives?”
Her voice turned icier as she continued. “Huan’s dreams, her life meant nothing to you? At the Authors’ Summit when she fell sick and was dismissed from the competition, did you feel nothing towards her loss? Everybody else was in the dark, but you must have known that Zhan Yahui did something to compromise her health and throw her out of the competition. Even so, did it not matter to you at all?”
The color slowly drained from Shi Shuren’s face. “Not true…That’s not true. I love Huan too…”
Jun tightened his grip. “You do not because for the sake of redeeming yourself for one family, you were ready to drown the other one. That is not love but selfishness. You were nothing but a selfish ma
n from the beginning till the end.”