Chapter 283 Shanghai Fest Arc (35) : Jin’s Revelation (3)
Jin slightly faltered in his steps with a headache gripping his temple.
Jun held his brother steady and anxiously said, "Jin, sit down-"
But he shook off his hand and narrowed his eyes. "Don't touch me!"
Jun stiffened. The loathe in his eyes was so deep that made Jun feel as if somebody was strangling him.
Ai watched the grief of Jin's hate reflecting in his wet eyes, and his pain brought tears in her own irises. She hated the thought of seeing him suffer Jin's bitter words. But she also knew that this conversation was important to bridge their differences.
A little pain now was necessary to prevent a lifetime of misunderstandings and sorrow.
On the other side, Jun's mind was a complete mess. What he thought was way different to what the reality was.
Jin drew in a breath and clenched his jaw as he faced him. "That was my way of telling you that Shui didn't love you. I couldn't outrightly confess that she didn't love you because that would have hurt you a lot, and I…the last thing I wanted to see was you getting hurt. I wanted you to realize the truth yourself, but you refused to look at anything that meant you and Shui getting separated!"
Jun felt an ugly feeling arise in his chest, questions swirling in his mind. "If you…you didn't love Shui then on her twenty-fifth birthday…she rejected me. Then the fact that you and Shui cheated-"
"Was a lie!" Jin exclaimed, his every cell bursting in a fury. "We never cheated on you! We never had any relationship behind your back! Whether in the last life or in this life…you still think that we cheated on you," he tiredly laughed. "I never once…" tears plopped down as his voice broke, "thought about betraying you, Bro. I can do anything, I can stoop to any lengths, but I never thought of hurting you. Even if I had loved Shui by any chance, I would have never come between you two. You were everything to me, Bro. Even in my dreams, I would never think of bringing pain to you."
*Flashback*
"I have made my decision, Jin," Shui affirmed as she stared at Jun just a few days before her twenty-fifth birthday. "I finally realized where I was going wrong. Jun and I are not meant for each other. I thought that this period of space I asked from Jun would help me reaffirm my feelings for him. But I cannot."
Jin laughed with a hint of panic in his voice, "I don't understand, Shui. What are you talking about?"
"That I cannot continue my relationship with Jun anymore," her fists trembled and her voice shook. "Ever since Jun proposed to me four years back, I couldn't help but think that this isn't how it's supposed to be. I became afraid of our future instead of feeling any happiness. I wanted time to sort my feelings out. I wanted space because I wanted to know what was going wrong between us. And I realized now that it's really impossible between us because I…I like you Jin," she shut her eyes as she confessed her deepest feelings.
Jin tilted his head as his black eyes watched her expression with a cold scrutiny. "What?"
"I like you, Jin," The back of her throat felt uncomfortable and only she knew how fast her heart was drumming at this moment. "A-and after coming to this realization now, I cannot keep Jun in the dark anymore. Now that I know that I don't love him, I cannot…continue our relationship. That will be cheating, and I won't ever cheat on Jun."
"You cannot be serious, Shui!"
She jolted back as his loud and angry voice sharply reverberated in the air.
He grabbed her shoulders and gritted his teeth. "What nonsense are you spouting!? You like me? Are you crazy!?"
She looked at him, stupefied. "I am not crazy, Jin. This is the truth. I like you-"
"But I don't!"
She froze.
"So throw any thought out of your mind that I will ever accept you! Wake up, Shui. It's a misunderstanding. Your feelings for me are a mistake! Bro Jun and you have always been together. He has pr-proposed to you," he chuckled with beads of sweat forming on his forehead. "He wants to marry you, Shui. You…you are his everything. You cannot back out right now!"
Startled, she slowly parted her lips to answer, "Cannot back out? Jin, so you want to say that I should lie to Jun? That I keep fooling him even though I don't love him?"
"I don't care! You…" tears threatened to escape his eyes, "You cannot break my brother's heart, Shui. He has given his everything for you. He will be…devastated if you leave him. We all will lose him forever. You cannot do this, Shui."
"And I do feel heartbroken Jin!" She broke down into tears as she stammered, "No-Nobody knows it better than me how much he loves me. But it doesn't mean that I keep him in an illusion! You want me to marry Jun while having feelings for you in my heart? Isn't that cheating!? You are being the cruelest one here, Jin!"
"Cruel?" With a scornful laughter, he mocked her. "My brother devoted his entire life for you and you want to abandon him. And you say I am the cruel one?"
"I know!" She cried, "I know I have hurt Jun a lot. I know I cannot answer his years of love and devotion. I know…he will be devastated. But he will be even more destroyed if I married him knowing that I had another man in my heart. He waited for years for this day, and I cannot give him what he wants. I am horrible, Jin. I am pathetic. I will suffer any punishment Jun would give me. His hate, scorn, revenge…I will take everything," tears kissed her cheeks as she sadly smiled. "But I cannot lie to him, Jin. Not when I now know what I want."
She gently shook off Jin's hand from her shoulder and sniffled. "You care about Jun, and I care about Jun too. But what you are suggesting is the way I will never walk onto."
Green veins popped on the back of his clenched hand. Silence fell for a few long minutes. The only sound spinning in the air was of the wind fluttering their hair.
"Shui," Jin said in a deathly quiet voice, "If this is your final decision, then remember one thing. You say you like me. But the only thing you will ever get from me is hate. If you reject my brother, then I swear your love for me will become your greatest curse. You will regret having feelings for me. This is my promise to you."
*Flashback ends*