58 Her
An Xiulan touched her face. This was not her. She was not going back, was she?
What would happen if one day she had to go back to her world?
Or she was going back to her world?
Her world. A question entered her mind– the world that she was living in was not hers?
All these people she loved and cared for were not hers?
Her greatest fears and insecurities began haunting her one by one.
“Lanlan.”
An Xiulan seemed to have heard her mother’s voice once again. She choked on her tears because no loss in the world was greater than losing her mother once again.
If she went back to her world, she was going to lose her mother too?
No, she didn’t want that. She couldn’t stay without her mother and everyone else in the family. She wanted all of them with her. She wanted to be with her classmates and friends. She didn’t want to go back. She had never experienced what it was like to be loved and cared for. Now that she had tasted it she was not willing to leave all of this behind.
It was very selfish of her to take someone’s spot and pretend to be someone who she was not. But why couldn’t she be selfish for once? Why couldn’t she accept the love she was getting?
Why!
Just why not!
“Lanlan?” An Qinyan shook her frozen daughter and called her name in utter concern and restlessness.
“Mom?” An Xiulan whispered to herself.
“Are you fine, Lanlan?” An Qinyan asked as she gripped her daughter’s chin between her fingers and made her look at her.
“I don’t know,” An Xiulan whispered.
For the first time, she accepted that she was not fine. It wasn’t her hand that was aching but her heart. A heart that yearns for love. She stared at the reflection in the mirror and she noticed that it was back to real-est her.
Her, not the oppressed An Xiulan of the past or the girl who had died in the accident but her. ρꪖꪕᦔꪖꪕꪫꪣꫀꪶ
The one this body and soul now belong to.
She agreed that was not fine but she wasn’t unfine either. She was hanging somewhere in the middle but she knew that she would figure out her real position in this world. It might not be today, tomorrow or even the day after tomorrow. But one day, she would.
She didn’t want to live the life of the girl who had died in the accident. But her own life. And that life didn’t involve a certain oppressed missy of a Duke’s household.
“We are seeing a doctor now, ” An Qinyan spoke. She was barely able to pretend that everything was fine. She knew that her daughter looked everything but fine. “Look at you. How pale do you look right now!” In a whisper, she added, “You are scaring me now, baby girl.”
“Doctor, how is my daughter’s hand?” An Qinyan inquired when she saw that the doctor was done with the checkup. She was tapping her feet against the ground in anxiety. Her heart was beating abnormally in her ribcage.
“There is no serious injury to her hand.” The doctor said with a smile. She could sense the mother’s fear from a distance. Looking at the quiet girl in school uniform and then at an anxious mother, she added, “But can I please have an alone moment with you?”
An Qinyan nodded and followed the doctor to the cabin while An Xiulam went out to have fresh air. She wasn’t feeling too good in the doctor’s cabin. However, while she was leaving, she ended up colliding with a girl of her age and the file in the other girl’s hand fell to the ground. Her feet staggered and she fell over the file.
“I’m sorry, did I hurt you ?” The girl’s soft and concerned voice was heard as she extended her hand for An Xiulan. Ever since she had received that call, she hadn’t been in her senses and now she didn’t realise when she collided with a girl.
When An Xiulan, who had fallen on the ground, looked up, she was surprised to see Song Xueyun glancing at her with eyes of concern, not her usual cold ones. She blinked her big doe eyes in surprise. With her help, she went back to her feet and before she could say a word, An Qinyan came out of the doctor’s cabin carrying a serious face.
When her eyes fell on An Xiulan, she smiled a bit and said to her daughter, “Let’s go home.”
From the beginning till the end, she did not look at the other girl wearing the same uniform as her daughter. And if she had seen Song Xueyun, she would have instantly recognized the teenage girl.
An Xiulan nodded her head and passed the file to the girl before going away with her mother.
It wasn’t just An Qinyan who didn’t look at Song Xueyun, it was a similar case for the latter too. For some unexplainable reasons, both of them were too familiar with each other.
Song Xueyun didn’t look here or there anymore and ran straight to the emergency ward where someone was lying on the hospital bed, bruised and hurt.
….
Author Note: I will be adding the privilege chapters in the upcoming month. From the first of May, you can expect constant updates on time. I’m sorry for not being able to post on time. Currently, I’m busy wrapping up a book and it takes a lot of energy and my time. Once that book is completed, I will give you a mini-mass release.
PS: Thank you for the gifts, votes and golden tickets. You don’t know how much your contribution in any way boost my confidence and will to write more and more.