Chapter 1: Big Brother, Why Can’t I Cuck You?
Chapter 1: Big Brother, Why Can’t I Cuck You?
“In one month, the sect will select the 300th generation of Yin-Yang Controllers. All Qi Refinement disciples under 40 are welcome to participate. Men vs. men, women vs. women. Do your best, the sect masters will be watching,” a stern middle-aged man dressed in a white Daoist robe said. Standing on a circular stone platform with a curved stone pillar at his left, he faced disordered rows of similarly dressed disciples, who lowered or shook their heads in defeatist stances.
Seeing this, the middle-aged man sighed, unable to blame them. Typically, the Yin-Yang Controller selection, which occurred every 20 years, was the most anticipated event of the White Immortal sect. The victorious male and female would become direct disciples of the sect masters and learn the sect’s supreme technique: the Yin-Yang Sword Array.
The Yin-Yang Sword Array required a pair of male and female to dual cultivate under the sun and moon—with the first sexual union occurring under the full moon. Thus, for the males, this was not only an opportunity to obtain peerless skills and guidance but also their only chance to become the mating partner of their generation’s number one beauty. Who could miss that chance?
‘What a pity that in this case, the result is a foregone conclusion. With her status as the Sword Fairy, no Qi Refinement female disciple can match Chun Xu. That, we all knew. But who could expect that overnight, Xia Hu the waste’s cultivation would improve by leaps and bounds? In three months, the bastard went from the second to the tenth level of Qi Refinement, slapping countless unfortunate seniors in his wake. Let’s not even mention that Chun Xu favors him. When even Foundation Building experts dare not compete with the freak, what can this lot d—?’ As the announcer’s thoughts trailed off, his eyes stumbled on a young disciple who stood out due to his unusual physical stature.
Standing at 1.75 m, the boy looked short among his mostly 1.8 m peers, but his hulking frame and monastic robe switched the odds in his favor, forcing bystanders to take notice. Add to that his tanned skin and lustrous bald head, and he gave the air of an eminent warrior monk. Unlike the despondent outer disciples who couldn’t even dream of contending with the new Xia Hu, the boy clenched his fists, and his eyes flared with determination.
‘Isn’t that Xinzi, the little monk who left the Clear Heart monastery to join our sect, but still traded the chance to become the great elders’ legacy disciple to found his own temple? Good spirit! Alas, initially you had all your chances, but from now on, I’m afraid the world must follow Xia Hu’s trend!’ The announcer shook his head and walked off.
One after the other, the White Immortal disciples dispersed, and only Xinzi stayed behind—still ablaze with determination. From a distance, several female disciples and elders praised Xinzi’s determination to pursue the Great Dao, unaware of his true thoughts.
“Dead, dead, dead, dead! Oh big brother, why can’t I cuck you?”
This was a brutal world, a world where sly demons walked amongst men, mysterious beasts ran amok, and immortal cultivators dominated vast countries under the banner of righteousness. Raised in a vassal temple of the White Immortal sect, Xinzi grew up with precepts of restraint and chastity firmly ingrained in his mind. But on one of the monastery’s annual tributes to the White Immortal sect, he met Xia Hu and Chun Xu—thereby discovering the foolishness of his vows. Instead of staying clear from women, shouldn’t monks introduce them to the wonders of spiritual enlightenment?
Would it not be a pity, a loss, if Chun Xu didn’t dedicate her jouncy tits and swaying butt to worshipping the Golden Lotus? From then on, Xinzi believed that he’d been blessed by the Golden Lotus, spiritual lord of all monks, to rescue the beauties of this world from a life without enlightenment! And as the Golden Lotus’ emissary, all enlightenment would naturally have to go through him. With that holy mission in mind, Xinzi abandoned his monastery to join the White Immortal sect.
Three years later, he’d still not lost his initial aspiration of making Chun Xu his proud cock-sl—no, devotee. The chance now stood before him. How could he let it go?
‘Brother Xia, as a monk of culture, I shall not retreat. Even if I must offend 10,000 immortals and ghosts, the beauty is mine!’ Xinzi inwardly pledged. A shame that the first chapter was often the most challenging. No matter how he racked his brain, Xinzi couldn’t devise a foolproof way to defeat Xia Hu.
As Xia Hu’s best and only friend, Xinzi knew better than most how terrifying his senior brother’s strength had gotten. Three months ago, he could have slapped Xia Hu to death with three swings. Three months later, he didn’t dare receive a punch. How could the gap become this abnormal in three months?
“Did you just say my name?”
“Ahh!” Realizing that a voice had come from his right, Xinzi leaped forward, spun 180, and found a slender, handsome Daoist waving at him. With long, neatly combed black hair, doll-white skin, and a pair of mellow dark-brown eyes, the Daoist youth could have easily shifted being robe and skirt, with no one being able to tell the difference.
Xinzi often wondered why the Heavens created this kind of crotch-testing fella that made the best of men question their orientations? Was it too much to ask for clear-cut gender forms? “The Golden Lotus be praised. Brother Xia’s telepathic skills have broken through another level. But to tell you the truth, all my thoughts revolve around you. In the morning when I wake up. At lunch when I tear through my vegetables. At night when I sleep, all I can think of is you!” Xinzi spoke facts, but forgot to mention that in all those thoughts, Xia Hu wore a tall green hat while Chun Xu rode Xinzi’s phallic member.
Xia Hu didn’t have any telepathic skills and was merely poking fun at Xinzi. Never did he expect his junior brother’s boot-licking skills to have reached such an uncomfortable level. On a scale of one to ten, eleven wasn’t enough to appraise this monkey. Feeling ants crawling over his skin, Xia Hu hissed and stepped back.
“Eww, no wonder your cultivation base has been stagnating. When you spend all your time practicing boot-licking skills, how can you improve?” Xia Hu said.
‘Yo, I’ve reached the eighth level of Qi Refinement at 18 while also being a black-grade Formation Master. My cultivation base is the cream of the crop, it’s not my fault that destiny demands that I be your sidekick or stepping stone!’ Xinzi wanted to cry but couldn’t find the tears. Still, knowing that he had appearances to maintain before Xia Hu, he cupped his hands and said:
“With you to lead the way, who cares about stagnation? I just need to follow, and perhaps in 300 years, I will rank among the top experts of our Great Desolation world.”
“As a monk, aren’t you ashamed of being so prone to flattery? Never mind, it’s not like you’re wrong. Stay close to your big brother Xia, and the world is your oyster.” The hubris in those words left Xinzi speechless. The enlightened monk didn’t see self-confidence as a sin. But after watching Xia Hu go from a submissive simp to a domineering swordmaster, he couldn’t help but praise the volatility of human nature.
Tapping the bronze ring on his right middle finger, Xia Hu summoned a small pouch. From it, Xinzi could smell the fragrant scent of exquisite cultivation pills flow out. Xia Hu’s forehead creased, and he pressed the pouch into Xinzi’s hands.
“When it comes to coaxing girls, I’m not as good as you. As far as Formation skills go, even elite disciples must ask you for pointers. Formation Masters are the strongest and most revered entities of our world, I’m planning to become one, but don’t have the tools to start. Let me trade these pills for an introductory manual. Also, I have offended Chun Xu and need you to help me with that,” Xia Hu said.
Arching one eyebrow, Xinzi looked back and forth at the pouch and Xia Hu, who clearly felt ashamed for asking for girl-soothing tricks from a monk. Even without opening the pouch, Xinzi could tell that six Qi Gathering pills lay therein—enough for him to cultivate to the peak of Qi Refinement. Instantly, the pills put Xinzi in a bind.
Accept them and Xia Hu would see a price tag on their brotherhood and become suspicious of Xinzi. Reject them and he would infer that Xinzi felt threatened by his rapid growth. Both were true, but Xia Hu didn’t have to know that.
“Big brother, you’re looking down on me. How can I withhold any secret from you or ask for payment? The Introduction to Formation Arts is nothing precious. Toss a coin in any half-decent Chamber of Commerce and you can hit 20. If you want it, it’s yours. In fact, I can even teach you the sect’s Eight Trigrams Array. When you defeat all ignorant disciples and become the sect master’s disciple, you will learn the Yin-Yang Sword Array. From then on, even I will have to learn from you.” Xinzi subdued all of Xia Hu’s fears.
When he saw Xinzi standing so close to the registration stele, Xia Hu wondered if his good brother didn’t plan to compete with him. In fact, with his current net worth, to say nothing of an introductory manual, buying fourth-layer Formation techniques was a simple matter. But if there was one person Xia Hu didn’t want to brutalize during the competition, it was Xinzi.
“Never mind. Treat them as minor gifts. Since you joined the sect, you used your strength and status to protect me from organized teams of bullies. Without you, I wouldn’t have made it this far. But from now on, I will protect you.” Without caring for Xinzi’s approval, Xinzi shoved the pill pouch into his hands.
‘Bah, who wants to be protected by you. Just because you look pretty, you think you can swindle me? Get some ass and tits first!’
“The Golden Lotus be praised. As a monk or friend, I had to do so. But if you insist…” Xinzi pocketed the pouch, then joined his hands in a prayer sign. Xia Hu didn’t have to know that he only did it to get brownie points with Chun Xu. It would do neither of them any good. But as the two exchanged puns and gifts, a procession of 16 disciples walked toward the curved registration stele.
Their leader, another fair-skinned Daoist, cast a murderous glance at Xia Hu, then aimed one finger at the stele. Sharp Spiritual Qi gushed forth, hacking into the stele as the Daoist engraved his team’s names on its surface—Xinzi frowned instantly.
‘The patriarch is not discreet. Who doesn’t know that he intends to pair Rong Suishan with his daughter and make them the next sect masters? He even made the fool delay his breakthrough for this. They will likely make the contest a battle royal to let Rong Suishan’s help wear down Xia Hu. Chun Xu will receive a similar treatment. What a pity that…it’s all useless!’ To say nothing of Xia Hu. As a black-grade Formation Master, even Xinzi didn’t put Rong Suishan in his eyes. Two or sixteen, even without Qi Replenishing pills, Xia Hu could beat them all down while slurping noodles. And that was only the current him. With his monstrous growth speed, who could picture his strength in one month?
Having expected this, Xia Hu sighed. This was the precise reason why he didn’t want to join the Yin-Yang Controller competition. The mook goons would force him to reveal his true strength and shock the world. With his current net worth, Xia Hu couldn’t understand why Chun Xu cared so much for the Sword Array. Still, since she insisted on having him seize her hand through a blood storm, he could only oblige!
Reading through Xia Hu’s thoughts, Xinzi rolled his eyes and walked off. Not only could he not inscribe his name now, but his Liberation Temple had been on a flourishing trend, with several female disciples waiting for dic—no, enlightenment!