Chapter 14 - Move
~ ZEV ~
Sasha nodded at him, her face pale, and her eyes slightly glazed. Shit. She wasn't just frightened, she was in shock.
With another muttered curse he pushed up and out of the driver's seat, crawling over the bench seat into the back of the van.
Her eyes widened and he realized he'd probably done that a little too smoothly. But hopefully she'd just put it down to her own shock.
She was still sitting in the jump seat, still clipped into the seatbelt, but her eyes followed every move he made. So he crouched on the floor of the van, putting himself lower than her, and spoke quietly and calmly as he unclipped her seatbelt and held it so it would return slowly and not make that clunking noise. She was already on the edge. He didn't need to startle her.
"So, what we're going to do, is we're going to go inside and get a bag of your things. Not much, just enough to keep you going for a few days. But the clothes, they need to be comfortable and tough. Only one pair of jeans. Leggings and Ski clothes are better if you have them—stuff that will keep you dry and warm in snow. You won't need make up or anything like that. And don't bring ID. No wallet. Nothing that can identify you to someone else, okay? Plus, you'll need to leave your phone here."
"What?! Why?"
He raked a hand through his hair as she pushed away from him in the seat. "Because the people that we're running from will be able to track it," he said honestly. "The best chance we have of getting away from them is to leave no trail. No way to trace you. No identifiers at all."
She gaped at him, her forehead furrowing into lines. "Zev… why?"
He put a hand to her face and felt her skin prickle, smelled joy and desire thread into her scent, and his heart leapt. "Because the people I'm close to are dangerous, Sash. And they want to know why I haven't been able to leave you alone for five years. And why I showed up to follow you tonight. And why I hid you from them. I'm sorry. This is my fault. They're after you now because of me, but you have to know, I never wanted that. It's why I've avoided you all this time."
She searched his gaze and when she spoke, it was with a broken, strangled voice. "Zev… are you… are you in the mafia or something?"
He huffed a laugh and caught himself. "No," he said, emphatically. "This is way bigger than that."
"What could be bigger—?"
"Trust me, Sash, you're safer if you don't know. But here's the thing you need to know: I never wanted to leave. I never chose it. And I never stopped watching over you. Ever." He'd never dominated her before—never wanted to break her will. Never wanted her to give him anything she didn't choose for herself. But he let himself feel the weight of those words, feel the truth of them, let them echo in his ribs and feed into his veins. Let her feel the strength and certainty in him. She needed to know.
She needed to remember she could trust him.
She blinked a few times and her hand twitched like she was going to touch him. An ache bloomed in his chest when she fought it.
He had to remind himself that she didn't know he'd been so close for so long. She didn't know why he'd left her alone, that he'd been protecting her, even then.
"Do you believe me?" he asked, finally when she didn't answer.
She nodded slowly. "I'm just not sure I should," she whispered, her eyes blazing with fear and hope and a storm of emotions he couldn't untangle in her scent.
"You know me, Sash," he breathed a truth he hadn't told another living soul. "You're the only one who ever knew the real me. Trust that."
In the opposite of what he'd hoped for, she frowned at that and pulled back, pushing herself deeper into the seat. "I can't trust anything you say," she said simply. "You lied to me."
"No, I never lied, I was—"
"You told me you were coming for me and you left and you never came back. I waited for you, Zev. For five fucking years I waited and now you show up and almost kill a man in front of me and you tell me to trust you?!"
She was beginning to shake. If he didn't handle this carefully, she was going to break.
"No," he said, his voice low and gruff. "I'm telling you to trust the Zev you knew. And watch me. Because you'll see, I'm still him. I promise."
"And if you're lying?" she said in a tiny voice.
It was a risk. They needed to move and he needed to get her clear on how they were going to do this. But he reached for her, traced her hair from her temple, back behind her ear. She closed her eyes and bit her lip when he touched her.
Just that tiny moment, that tiny touch… she was like a drug in his system. His heart pounded, racing faster than he could run. His skin throbbed with it. Nothing did that to him anymore. He was as cold as a machine. He'd been forced to think like a machine. To be untouchable.
But she touched him, deeply. Every time.
There was something between them that defied explanation. He didn't know how, or why it had happened, though he had some suspicions. He didn't know how it was possible a soulless creature like him could feel so much. But she did that to him, she always had.
And he'd give anything to keep her safe.
Anything.
Even himself.