Chapter 212 - Like An Animal
~ SASHA ~
That night, Sasha slept deeply. So deeply. She was sucked down into the void, her body heavy and weighted, unable to move.
For a while, as if she was aware of being asleep, she tried to push up and out, out from under this cloud of darkness. But her mind tumbled further and further… and soon she was back… back in that clearing.
The bonfire crackled off to her right. There were Chimeran males everywhere. Yhet stood a few feet behind her, whispering with Kyelle. And Zev, vibrant and strong, stood at the center of the near-circle made by the crowd.
He was straight and proud, naked from the waist up, his body oiled and painted in a garish blue. Images of a wolf and stars.
Sasha frowned. Why did she feel like that was wrong? Like she'd seen this before, but his skin should be painted differently?
She shook her head, her belly tingling because Zev looked so delicious, and he was prowling towards her now, his eyes dark and intent, fixed on her. He was coming for her, and soon they would leave together, and have endless days ahead of them to be alone, to enjoy each other.
Desire flared in her belly and she smiled.
Zev returned the grin, his eyes locked on hers. He opened his mouth like he'd speak to her, but suddenly a bellow from her right caught Sasha's attention and she snapped her head to look—only to find a massive tiger arched in the air, a blade clenched in its teeth, paws outstretched and claws unsheathed.
Sasha screamed as it landed on her, bearing her to the ground, and suddenly it was Xar, hissing that if he couldn't have her, no one could.
But she knew… she knew there was a rock, just under her hand.
When he tried to stab her, she raised her arm, but it was as if the blade didn't even touch her. She braced against the blow, then brought the rock up, cracking it against his temple—and her stomach flipped in disgust as she felt the bone give under its hard surface. Heard the crack.
Watched the light die in Xar's eyes.
"You killed me," he whispered, blood flowing suddenly from his mouth, spattering over her face. "You killed me like an animal. Is that all I am to you?"
Then he fell over her and Sasha screamed, trying desperately to push him off.
"Sash… Sash!" Zev voice, warm and urgent, called to her. But she couldn't get the weight off, couldn't stop the blood falling on her skin, into her eyes, blinding her. And Xar, even though he was dead now, whispering in her ear.
"Like an animal. Is that all I am to you?"
"SASHA, WAKE UP!"
Sasha jolted awake in the pure black of night, her breath heaving, lungs sucking at the air, and Zev propped on one arm over her, his eyes wide and glowing in the dark, the only part of him that she could see clearly.
"Babe, are you awake? It was a dream. Sasha, look at me."
"I'm awake," she murmured, pushing up to sit, her heart pounding.
Zev put a hand to her arm, holding her, not as if he was trying to stop her, but as if he needed to touch her. Needed the connection.
"What happened? What did you dream?" he asked her.
Sasha, sitting up, trying to get her breathing back under control, swallowed hard. "I… it was Xar," she said, her stomach twisting and sick. "I just… I saw him again and he… he was questioning me."
Zev cursed and tried to pull her into his chest, but she shook her head. "No, no, I just… I need a minute."
Zev grunted but didn't argue, just took her hand in his and sat there, watching her while she breathed.
A few minutes later, when she felt like she could breathe without iron bands tightening on her chest, she turned to look at him.
"What is it?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Sasha swallowed. "He said… he said I killed him like an animal. And he… he asked if that's all he was to me."
Zev pushed a strand of hair back from her face, curling it behind her ear, then cupped her face. "That's not you, Sash. That's just the devil trying to mess with your mind. You had to kill him. If you hadn't he would have killed you."
"I know. I know…" she said, but there was no strength in her voice. "I just…"
"I get it," he said simply, nodding.
Sasha looked back at him again. "You have nightmares?"
"About a lot of stuff. It's why I can't sleep half the time."
"You've been sleeping here… haven't you?"
He nodded. "Being close to you and in a cave helps."
Sasha's heart was still thumping faster and harder than usual, but she was beginning to calm. And she blinked. That night back at the tree house, when he'd taken wolf form and stayed outside, guarding her.
"What happened to you, Zev?"
He shook his head. "It's not what happened, it's what I did," he said, his voice choked. "But you don't have to worry about that, Sash. It's gone. It's behind me."
Sasha sucked in a breath and ran her hands through her hair. "It doesn't feel like it," she said, her voice trembling. "It feels like… like we're haunted. Like no matter what we do, something comes for us."
She'd never given voice to the thought, but it had been floating in her head ever since that first night he'd shown back up.
It didn't seem to matter what they did, something—someone always came for them.
She wanted Zev to say it was just the dream. Just a bad feeling after a bad night. But instead he nodded.
"But I don't care what they do, Sash. I'm still going to love you. If all I get with you is this life, then… then I'm going to make the most of it."
Sasha's throat closed and she swallowed convulsively. Talk of death had taken on a whole new layer of doom for her since their bond. Even now, she could feel his heart fluttering, right alongside hers.
"It's okay, Sash," he whispered. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
But did he have a choice? Did either of them?
She let him convince her to lay back down though. And to close her eyes.
They held hands under the furs because she suddenly felt trapped. Like she couldn't breathe. She needed to have space.
And he understood.
As her mind slowed again, and her heart began to ease, that was the thought Sasha clung to.
Zev understood.