Seizing Dreams

Ch68.1 – The Key

“Despite the objections of my elder sister, I sponsored Lin Xun.” Liang Jinmin said. “At that time, I firmly believed that he was my soulmate for life. I felt a brilliant sunlight illuminate my soul every day I spent with him, and even now when I recall it, it really was wonderful. Yu Hao, you said that I don’t understand, and I truly don’t. Or you could say that from the bottom of my heart, I had never been willing to admit my cowardice. And it was this cowardice that caused me to sink into an endless cycle of the ‘tragedy of life’……”

The living room became quiet. Yu Hao didn’t want to cry, yet he couldn’t help but shed tears. He could empathise with how much Liang Jinmin had loved Lin Xun at that time, yet when he thought of the Liang Jinmin of today, he felt an incomparable sadness.

Chen Yekai’s eyes had also reddened, and the faint sound of him drawing a breath could be heard.

Zhou Sheng looked at Yu Hao. Liang Jinmin drew out a tissue and handed it to Yu Hao. She smiled, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No.” Yu Hao quickly said, “I’m sorry, Liang Laoshi. It was too presumptuous of me to have said that.”

Liang Jinmin said, “Come, have some chocolate.” And as she spoke, she took out some premium chocolates from the coffee table and gave it to them.

“Lin Xun and I supported each other. We left our homes and went to San Francisco to study; just like what a marriage vow says — for better or worse, in sickness and in health, whether young and beautiful or old and wrinkly, we always supported and depended on each other in hard times.” Liang Jinmin said, “Later on, my elder sister died of lung cancer four years later. And the prelude to the start of many trivial conflicts in our marriage began.”

Yu Hao listened to Liang Jinmin recall every small detail of the bloody reality and conflicts between her and Lin Xun — all of which had taken on the form of the knives, axes, blades, saws, and hammers on the huge metallic monster’s robotic arms in her dreamscape. The image of Lin Xun and her father gradually overlapped and became difficult to differentiate.

“A girl who had witnessed so much domestic violence in her childhood had also fallen into an endless cycle of tragedy when she grew up.” Liang Jinmin sighed, “Is that a kind of habit? Or yearning? It’s really humiliating for me to analyse myself, but tonight, I’m willing to bare my soul in its entirety under the illumination of your sunlight and moonlight, and accept judgement.”

Zhou Sheng adjusted his posture on the sofa and laughed, “Sunlight?”

Liang Jinmin nodded, “I’m a pessimist. Nietzsche mentioned in《The Birth of Tragedy》that endless cycles of tragedy actually provide a kind of aesthetic attitude towards life, so that we can obtain the final liberation. Ryuusei once said frankly that in my subconscious, because of the psychological shadows that originated from my own family history, there was a sort of imperceptible self-pity within that made it difficult for me to escape this cycle of events.”

“Secondly, I think, my tolerance of Lin Xun originated from a feeling of guilt and indebtedness that I felt after witnessing my elder sister killing my father that night. Accepting my husband’s repeated acts of violence and enduring them had turned into my atonement.”

Chen Yekai said, “If I was the one to put you on trial, I would have only one sentence, ‘they all deserve to die’.”

Liang Jinmin looked at Zhou Sheng, but Zhou Sheng didn’t express any opinions and just said, “Go on.”

Liang Jinmin said, “I grew up in that kind of environment and was accustomed to it. My mother told me that all couples, everywhere in the world, will quarrel and may even resort to violence. And at one time, I also unquestioningly believed that to be true. After adolescence, I once told myself that I would never get married……”

“Just like me.” Zhou Sheng answered, “I’m afraid that I’ll be like my dad and won’t be able to restrain myself one day.”

“You won’t.” Yu Hao said to Zhou Sheng.

Liang Jinmin laughed, “But love is beyond anyone’s control. On numerous occasions I’ve convinced myself to muster the courage and usher in a new life, and I even finally took that step. But I didn’t expect that with that one step, I had stepped straight into an abyss……”

Yu Hao, “……”

“When Lin Xun knelt down to beg for my forgiveness after the first time he hit me, I was still convincing myself that it was a normal occurrence in marriage, though I knew it couldn’t be.” Liang Jinmin lit up her third cigarette, “I always thought that all couples everywhere in this world were like my parents. I couldn’t imagine what having a happy and blissful family would be like. Afterwards, it was Nicky and Takin’s love which made me realise that a person could be so understanding of their own lover, making it possible for them to grow old together with absolute devotion to each other.”

Chen Yekai laughed bitterly and shook his head.

“Anything else?” An idea slowly began to surface in Yu Hao’s mind, but he couldn’t quite grasp it. He was waiting, waiting for the moment it finally became clear.

“If there’s anything else, then I think it should be love ba.” Liang Jinmin closed her eyes, “That day, when I was talking to Nicky about the future, I decided to make up for my mistakes and devote the rest of my life to my work. But not long after I got home, the incident as you know it occurred……”

Chen Yekai said, “I remember you said at that time that you would make preparations.”

“Yes.” Liang Jinmin answered as she rubbed between her eyebrows with her ring finger, “But a lot of things that happened during those three days seems disjointed now, and I can’t really recall much.”

Zhou Sheng’s expression suddenly turned stern, yet he didn’t interject and instead glanced at Yu Hao. At this time, Yu Hao chose to remain silent.

After a seemingly endless silence, Liang Jinmin continued, “Yu Hao said today that I didn’t understand. And yes. Perhaps, in the depths of my heart, I still have lingering foolish love and expectations of him, that’s holding me back and sealing off a portion of my memories……”

“You’re subconsciously hindering yourself.” Yu Hao picked up the frame and scrutinised the picture of Liang Jinmin and Lin Xun, “You don’t want him imprisoned, even though he tried to murder you, right?”

“I think so.” Liang Jinmin opened her eyes and said.

Chen Yekai said, “Yu Hao, it’s no use blaming Liang Laoshi. We can’t control our subconscious……”

Liang Jinmin said, “It’s okay. That’s the reason I wanted to talk to you guys too. Over all these years, I may have never really understood myself.”

Zhou Sheng said, “So after you woke up in the hospital that day, you’ve been trying to recall what happened?”

Liang Jinmin nodded, “Yes. The doctor believes that the gaps in my memory are a result of my long-term coma. I have been thinking about it all day. Nicky and Officer Huang Ting suggested that I could wait, but only I know the real reason is that I have deliberately forgotten those memories.”

The living room fell into a long silence. The lit cigarette in Liang Jinmin’s hand had been burnt till its end.

“To finish off, let’s make some slight adjustments to Nietzsche’s argument to conclude today’s lesson ba.” Chen Yekai said, “Under the light of the Sun God, everything shows a beautiful appearance. It changes the essence of tragedy, eliminating the pain and deranged aspects, and reflects an exceptionally beautiful light — that is our understanding of ourselves.”

Zhou Sheng finished his wine and set the glass down. He was still thinking as he looked at Yu Hao again.

Yu Hao said, “What else did you talk about the day you two met at the cafe?”

Liang Jinmin was immersed in her thoughts and didn’t respond.

“At that time, I thought the evidence you had might not be strong enough. I remember Liang Laoshi said,” Chen Yekai said, “‘Then I’ll go back and continue collecting evidence until it’s enough to send him to prison.’”

Liang Jinmin said, “I believe that was what I said at that time, but my recollection of it is poor.”

Chen Yekai said, “This is just my inference. Huang Ting’s analysis of this was, if Liang Laoshi’s last thoughts before losing consciousness were about the location of the concealed evidence, then the moment she lost consciousness could have caused that memory to……”

“Break.” Zhou Sheng continued.

Liang Jinmin nodded, “When I was going over what had happened and recording my testimony, I still remember Lin Xun said something to me before he knocked me unconscious, but I can’t remember what it was.”

Her eyeliner was smudged because of her tears. She put down her empty wine glass and walked to the bathroom.

When Yu Hao heard her last sentence, a myriad of impressions flashed through his mind and suddenly connected —— speculating from the scenes he witnessed in her dreamscape, how Liang Jinmin struggled as she fought against the metallic monster, and within her consciousness, the metallic monster had seized something that could protect her, an item that could not be destroyed……

He looked down at the photo within the frame. Within an instant, Lin Xun’s face and that metallic monster overlapped! That “evidence”, he had seen it in the subconscious!

It was a wooden Maya sculpture! At that time, Yu Hao thought it seemed really strange. Why would it be the only glowing object within the entire subconscious!

When he thought of this, Yu Hao couldn’t help but widen his eyes and tremble slightly.

“What did you think of?” Zhou Sheng was the first to notice Yu Hao’s change in demeanour.

Chen Yekai frowned and looked at Yu Hao. Yu Hao said, “Has there ever been a decorative wood carving in this house?”

“What?” Zhou Sheng didn’t expect Yu Hao to suddenly ask that.

“Liang Laoshi!” Yu Hao immediately got up, “Do you remember a wood carving? About this big, dark brown, Mayan style……”

Zhou Sheng and Chen Yekai immediately got up and followed Yu Hao. Chen Yekai said, “I remember now! That was the artefact Ryuusei and I brought back four years ago as a gift for Liang Laoshi……”

Liang Jinmin came out of the bathroom with a towel in her hand. When she heard those words, she suddenly began trembling involuntarily.

“Liang Laoshi?” Up until now, Yu Hao still hasn’t understood the significance of the wood carving, but the moment Zhou Sheng saw Liang Jinmin’s expression, he knew that Yu Hao had finally found a vital clue.

“Think about it slowly, don’t rush……” Zhou Sheng said, “Liang Laoshi! Don’t!”

“Liang Laoshi!”

“Liang Laoshi!”

Liang Jinmin’s eyes were wide open, and her face had turned ghastly pale.

“I remember now. In the end, he said that, to collect……what evidence? You can’t hide……hide your plans……from me……” Liang Jinmin said in a trembling voice, then fainted as if she had just suffered a blow to her mental state. Chen Yekai and Yu Hao jumped up in fright. They quickly supported her, and the situation was chaotic for a moment. Chen Yekai said, “Take her in, quickly……”

Chen Yekai carried her into the bedroom. Zhou Sheng said, “What’s that wood carving? Kaikai! Do you remember what it looks like?”

“Wait……” Chen Yekai placed Liang Jinmin properly on the bed, and everyone became nervous.

Yu Hao said, “It’s not in the living room, I already looked over that place just now!”

“It should be in the living room.” Chen Yekai said, “It was still here the last time I came. What does it represent? Yu Hao, why do you know about it?”

“Don’t ask anymore!” Zhou Sheng said, “Find it first! There must be a surveillance camera in it!”

Zhou Sheng’s words had pierced through Yu Hao’s thoughts. Yu Hao said, “There’s a surveillance camera in its eyes! Yes! There must be!”

“It……” Chen Yekai said, “Should be right there!”

Chen Yekai pointed to the TV. There was a row of decorations on the TV cabinet, “When I was helping them move, I specifically took it out and placed it here……”

A noise travelled over from inside, sounding like something had fallen down. The three of them immediately turned around and dashed into the bedroom. Yu Hao thought that the statue had been found, but the noise came from Liang Jinmin falling onto the floor after struggling to get off the bed. Chen Yekai quickly supported her up. Zhou Sheng said, “She’s mentally unstable right now; Kaikai watch over her.”

Zhou Sheng and Yu Hao returned to the living room. Yu Hao ran his fingers through his hair, he was at his wits’ end. “Where could she have put it?”

“Wait.” Zhou Sheng said, “Don’t get anxious, calm down and analyse.”

Yu Hao stayed silent for a long time before saying, “Why did Liang Laoshi suddenly faint?”

“Because you mentioned the evidence.” Zhou Sheng said in a low voice, “The existence of the ‘evidence’ had caused Lin Xun to beat her into unconsciousness, and in her mental world, she responded reflexively. When she recalled it, she spontaneously remembered the heavy blow that had landed her in a coma.”

Yu Hao understood and frowned, “Logically speaking, after the accident, Huang Ting had sealed off the scene of the crime and didn’t allow Lin Xun to return, so it should still be around.”

Zhou Sheng said, “He must’ve taken it away, that’s the only possibility.”

Yu Hao, “!!!”

Zhou Sheng, “Before Lin Xun knocked Liang Jinmin unconscious, he had roughly guessed the existence of this ‘evidence’. So he manipulated her by placing a psychological suggestion on her when he delivered the final blow, then searched the whole house before destroying the evidence.”

Yu Hao, “……”

Yu Hao was reluctant to accept that explanation, but it was the only possibility. He sat down helplessly.

“Would Lin Xun keep it?” Yu Hao said.

“Impossible.” Zhou Sheng said, “He must have destroyed it completely. Wait, if it was a surveillance video that had recorded his acts of domestic violence, could he have viewed it on his computer before destroying it?”

Yu Hao said, “He must have deleted it after he watched it, he wouldn’t keep it.”

Zhou Sheng, “Even if he had deleted it, the data on the hard drive can be restored, even if he didn’t use his own computer to watch it……wait, would she have a cloud backup?!”

At that moment, the sound of a car’s engine could be heard outside. The two of them were instantly on guard. Zhou Sheng drew the living room curtains and looked out; a car was parked outside the door. Yu Hao asked, “Who is it? Just passing by?”

“No.” Zhou Sheng frowned, “Cars won’t pass by this place. Lin Xun must have come back.”

“It can’t be ba! Isn’t that too much of a coincidence?” Yu Hao said.

Today was the day Lin Xun was released from custody. Yu Hao instantly recalled the day when Shi Liang suddenly returned home without warning and immediately felt a bit scared.

“It’s okay, I’m here. What’s there to be afraid of?” Zhou Sheng said calmly, “Keep drinking, let’s have a chat with him.”

Yu Hao, “……”

The car outside the house drove away. Zhou Sheng went straight up to the wine cabinet and poured more whisky for himself when someone rang the doorbell.

“Jinmin.” Lin Xun called out, “I know you’re home. Open the door, I want to talk to you.”

Chen Yekai walked out quickly from the room. The three of them looked at one another. Chen Yekai said, “Liang Laoshi’s better now.”