Stuck As A Dungeon Mob

Back in the wilderness, W was following the goblin that grabbed a piece of his bone. All along, he could only lament his situation.

‘Why are you biting it!?’ He was appalled whenever he saw this action. Would he later have to inhabit this body that was covered in goblin slobber? Granted skeletons couldn’t feel or smell anything so there would be no discomfort but the knowledge alone was discomforting.

While being tortured like this for over ten minutes, the scrawny green goblin finally made it to an extremely suspicious hill. There were many trees and bushes littered around that covered it almost entirely.

‘What’s it going to do now…’ W asked himself as he saw the goblin start to glance around the bushes.

The goblin finally caught sight of what it was looking for and pulled out a large branch. It then disappeared into the bushes. This was W’s cue to approach.

Before he could go too far near he heard a rhythmic beat. It sounded like wood hitting soft dirt.

‘It’s a password isn’t it?’ For some reason, the actions of these goblins felt cute or silly in his eyes. It was something that human kids would do when playing make-believe after all.

Shortly after the password was used. W could hear articulate shrieks and squeals, there had to be multiple goblins conversing with one another.

‘I- Is it a settlement?’ W was instantly filled with worry. He wouldn’t usually fear a couple of goblins but his current body lacked both his attributes and skills.

‘I’m doomed’ His skeleton bones would be reduced to nothing but tasty snacks for goblins. W could only hope they choked on those bones before dissecting their bodies to scavenge for them.

‘I can’t leave like this’ He wasted lots of time traveling and he had no intention to leave empty-handed. His first thought was what transferable skills could be used offensively but after recalling his itinerary he decided to change his approach.

‘I need diplomacy’ He would be a kind orc ambassador that came over to greet his goblin neighbors. Yes, that had to be the way.

W now confidently strode forward. His steps were domineering and confident. It was the charisma of a diplomat. Well, maybe, he had no idea.

‘I better prepare my mental vocal cords’ The moment he knocked on the ground with the same rhythm he would be found by the goblin in charge of this and likely besieged. W found no reason for the goblins to be friendly.

‘Childish as they seem they did still manage to stay hidden here’ W didn’t doubt that he wasn’t the first orc to stumble upon this extremely suspicious hill. Were it not for the fact that it was a bit wayward the place might have even be found by humans as they passed.

‘Well, if they had scouts it’s actually a bit weird that they didn’t find this’ It implied no scouting was done that it hadn’t been found. W no longer lingered on this. He broke off a branch from a tree and copied the goblin morse code.

Less than 30 seconds later, the ordinary hill was opened up. A patch of grass which one would assume to be solid ground was in fact not. It was like a camouflaged trapdoor.

Immediately after this trapdoor opened however the goblin was thrown into panic. The goblin shrieked and squealed like it’s life depended on it. The tough, mean, scrawny… haggard… brutish orc… On second thought the goblin found this orc to be a little lacking.

The goblin closed the trapdoor quickly and its squeals behind it now sounded much more confident and brave. W instantly knew he was being looked down upon by this goblin.

Still, he knew the goblin had every right to do so. W backed away from the hill after making his presence known. No more than a minute later, a bunch of goblins appeared. They were all holding different weapons.

[Flimsy Bone Knife]

[Blunt Bone]

[Sharp Bone Shard]

…Though Weapons was perhaps overstating it.

‘I come in peace’ W transmitted to the goblins who looked either smug or angry. There was only one goblin different from these other goblins. They had something strapped to their back and though small and weak looking had an intimidating chill. This goblin was a veteran.

After hearing W’s transmissions, the smug or angry goblins were stunned. Was God speaking to them?

The veteran goblin however didn’t react the same. They promptly unstrapped their weapon and revealed a pristine white bone.

‘Hey now wait a minute!’ How could they use his own bones against him? Putting that aside, it was totally sacrilege! How could they use such lustrous pure white bones as weapons? What if they got tainted with blood and guts?! ρꪖꪕᦔꪖꪕꪫꪣꫀ​ꪶ​

‘I won’t attack you’ W said with slight worry though he made sure not to transmit that. He knew better than anyone how tough his bones were. He would be in for a beating if he was pummeled with that thing even once.

Hearing the mysterious voice in their head again, the goblins were still just as shocked. Though after they got over the initial surprise they also found something else mixed in with the transmission. Sincerity?

W scratched the back of his head. Under normal circumstances leaving any opportunities would be a bad thing but he wanted to seem weak and friendly.

The veteran goblin finally put down their weapon, no W’s femur.

‘Huh, that was easier than I expected’ His great eloquence didn’t even have a chance to show its prowess.

After one goblin put down their weapon, all of the others did too. They were like a monkey and like chattering monkeys, they began to shriek and squeal in communication.

W had a language skill but it obviously wasn’t goblin language. He couldn’t understand anything.

One of the goblins detached themselves from the small mob and disappeared back into the bushes obviously entering their secret lair. After about a minute of chilling with his soon to be goblin pals, W saw an elderly goblin start to emerge from the bushes.

He quickly assessed this important character.

[Goblin]

[ A goblin <Disclai…> ]

‘That was very informative, thank you assessment’ W thanked the skill sarcastically before inspecting this goblin more closely.

[Bone staff]

[Orc Skin robe]

Putting aside the disgusting nature of a robe made out of orc skin, W focused on the bone staff. There wasn’t anything peculiar about the staff itself, it seemed to be a regular bone but… W just found it weird that a goblin was carrying around a staff as it implied they knew magic.

The elderly goblin was greeted by more goblin chatter before everything quieted down. They were waiting for something it seemed.

The goblin elder used their bone staff to start drawing on the ground. As the drawing started to unfold W quickly noticed that it looked like a hill. The hill was then suddenly crossed out and the elder pointed at him to leave.

‘So I’m not welcome?’ W took a completely wild guess and transmitted. It took a bit but the elder goblin eventually responded with a soft head shake. It was no.

Seeing that the goblins didn’t intend to fight him anymore W was not worried. Nevertheless, he still couldn’t make any rash movements.

‘How can I convince them to let me in’ W only wanted his bones back. He could ask for the bones and leave but excluding the fact that the goblins might not comply, there was much to be gained from befriending these goblins.

The first obvious benefit was manpower. After that came the elderly goblin. A goblin that lived to an elderly age and even held a boney staff, he had to have secrets!

‘I can’t leave, I need the bones you took’ W decided to be straightforward for now as a way to gauge an answer. Surprisingly…

The weapons were all once more brandished and now even the elder sowed a fierce expression. W made the wrong choice, he underestimated the importance of those bones to the goblins.

‘I saw them using them as weapons but looking again…’ Not even the elder was using a piece of his bone, only that experienced goblin warrior was. The others couldn’t have been left to display inside of the hill right?

The goblins were squealing angrily and moving their weapons around menacingly. W wanted to take a step back but he feared that this would give the goblins confidence.

‘You misunderstand, I won’t take them for free. I have a prophecy as an emissary of god!’ W decided to b*llshit! That was the eloquence skill’s vulgar translation. W who was prepared to be besieged for actual sacrilege in the goblin’s eyes was met with an optimistic reaction. The goblins lowered their weapons.

They were still wary but the elder was now curious. If W had spoken these words through anything other than the transmission skill he would have been stabbed at least 23 times. Before being bonked on the head by his own bone.

The village elder was not wary like the others however, they were instead grim. W was now certain that his words struck into the heart of the issue! …whatever that may be.. With such a grim expression the elder must have recalled something bad.