Stuck As A Dungeon Mob

The preparations to fight Ed were as follows.

One, Ed would wear extremely heavyweights on his arms and legs. It was hard to believe he would be fighting anyone like that but that was the plan.

Two, the challenger would have to wear from light to heavy armor. The armors didn’t originally have weight differences but Ed made use of his ethereal spark to add or remove heft. They just needed some form of protection so Ed’s weighted fist didn’t accidentally dent their skull. Wait… Armor didn’t seem that helpful in that case.

Three, the challenger would have the option to drink one of Ed’s potions. The reason why it was optional was that they were limited and also because Ed wasn’t keen on forcing unknown substances into the bodies of others. The- The alcohol had been an exception.

“How, How can he still move like that?” The weights that Ed was wearing were nothing fancy just literal chunks of orc iron that Ed melded together. It was just that all the mining orcs knew quite well how heavy these ores were!!

“I will pray for the safety of my lover” “Hahaha! It’s only more fun this way!!!” “Huh? You mean husband, right?” Some of the orcs were starting to feel sorry for others, and others were turned on by the weights.

The first orc challenger was a muscular orc with a dumb face. This orc went by the name of Xagu.

“I, Xagu, will become a leader today!” But apparently, it wasn’t that his face looked stupid, but that he was. Xagu dared to declare such confident words in front of the clearly handicapped Ed.

Xagu was equipped with medium-weight orc iron armor. His weapon of choice was naturally an axe. It seemed that the only thing daring about him were his words.

“AAAAAAAH!!!!” Xagu gripped his axe with both hands. It had a shorter handle than most others so the movement wasn’t too awkward, and it did help him. Sort of…

After Ed drew back his fist to meet the strike, Xagu was able to readjust to dodge it by a narrow margin. That had been the plan at least.

The heavyweights which were bound to Ed were done so loosely enough that the one on Ed’s fist curved and smacked Xagu right in the face. The orc was thrown back with a dramatic spin and summoned down a rain of slobber on some nearby audience members.

He thudded to the ground without moving as much as a single finger.

“He is dead!!” Someone said fearfully. The other challengers who had raised their hands nearly crapped themselves once they realized this.

[Xagu (Unconscious)]

‘I guess the armor works’ The hit was very strong and Xagu was likely to become dumber than he already was after suffering from a concussion but he did live.

“Who’s next?” Ed asked looking at the crowd of orcs. They had an oh sh*t expression after he glanced at them.

“I’ll give it a go!” But most orcs didn’t know the meaning of the word give up. Standing up to insurmountable challenges, even if death was guaranteed, was another show of strength.

The orc woman who shouted this didn’t hesitate to stand into the stage and select light armor coupled with not one, but two potions.

‘Will there be side effects?’ Ed hadn’t considered how the potions would react when taking them together. The ones she had chosen were the sight and endurance potion. Ed had explained what they did so she most likely planned to dodge his attacks to wear him out.

It was a viable strategy. In theory…

Although the weights were doing their job, her attacks weren’t doing much damage. The endurance potion was to help her take hits not to improve her strength.

When the pressure finally allowed her to make a mistake, she was hit on her side and sent tumbling down the stage and rolling on the dirt.

“Urgh…” The orc named Mazoga could only grunt in pain after that.

‘The potion seems to have some effectiveness’ Although the attack was not in the head, Ed saw no real signs of external or internal bleeding even though the armor this time was lighter.

“Next?” Soon more and more orcs started to challenge Ed. The orcs didn’t want to lose their lives in a spar but after a while, it became a good entertainment for them.

“Hehehe, I can last two whole punches, no potions!” One of the orcs bragged with a couple of missing teeth. They had just woken up but they did so with a goofy grin.

The thing really started to turn merry once Ed decided to reward the highest record holder in each armor division some food. ρꪖꪕᦔꪖꪕꪫꪣꫀ​ꪶ​

“AH! It’s a massacre! A massacre!” Someone shouted excitedly watching one of their own crash and roll on what was now marked ground. The distance each person traveled was being privately bet on by the orcs!

The betting had been encouraged by Ed in a joking manner but the orcs all had eyes that suggested they were enlightened.

“Ah! Why can’t you fly a couple more orc childs length away?” An orc who lost the bet groaned with disappointment.

Just like that, Ed managed to turn beating sense into someone into a festival. It was a festival that would for sure be remembered and perhaps even held for years to come.

***

Deeper into the dungeon. W and Bloody were heading towards the exit. It was pretty smooth sailing. There were a couple of locations too small for W to pass through, but in those situations Bloody would use charge and metal body to create a path.

But now, they were proceeding too smoothly. The place was damp and dark as usual but the situation in the cavern was a bit odd. Bloody and W were having a hard time finding any enemies aside from creepy crawlers.

‘What’s going on?’ Occasionally, even crawlers would be split open without meat or innards. But W could not wrap his head around it. Such indiscriminate killing would have driven many of the monsters into extinction so why was it not so?

As W tried to question this matter Bloody kept on trying to integrate the blood from these corpses. Every single time, Bloody failed. The blood was already dried up and therefore impossible to acquire. If Bloody had the ability to make expressions, it would look quite pitiful.

Actually, it already looked pretty pitiful. The eye that usually stood in its center was at its bottom looking down at the dried blood with longing.

‘Cough’ W mentally coughed a couple of times and started to reassess his trip thus far.

‘We encountered plenty of enemies at first’ The bodies only started showing up as they got closer and closer to the exit. The weird thing was that none of the bodies were recent as the dried blood had already suggested.

‘Can’t be older than a couple of days but…’ Otherwise, not at all recent.

This pattern persisted for only a bit more. Soon, W and Bloody encountered a fresh corpse, however. It was not a crawler, it was a lizard. The thing had been roughly butchered but the blood was still thick and wet.

Bloody didn’t spare a second thought. It jumped straight into the shallow blood pool and started integrating it into its body. Bloody also got inside the corpse with the intention of sucking it dry The sight was slightly harrowing but W didn’t look away. He was focused on something else while staring blankly through his sentry shrooms.

‘The something or some things are loitering around here’ That could mean a couple of things. This could be the thing’s territory, or they were searching for something in the area. There was also the option that it was dumb and this thing or things did whatever they wanted.

Whatever the case, the situation was indeed abnormal.

<“So that was a dead end…”> A voice suddenly entered the peripheral of both Bloody and W but neither had in fact heard them. That was because the mushroom puppet had no hearing capabilities. Bloody was a blob with an eye, enough said.

<“Wait… What are those?!”> A lizardmen said pointing at W and Bloody from behind a rock wall.

The mushrooms puppet was shining a soft gray thanks to the mycelium and the mushrooms. There were a couple of roots growing out of it and patches of dirt but otherwise it seemed like a living mushroom.

But the lizardman who pointed soon noticed something odd about the second creature. It was inside the prey they had slaughtered! Not only that, but the prey looked as if it had been dead for at least over a week now!

With a nervous gulp, the lizardman intended to inform Var Agus but…

W looked over at that moment and caught sight of the lizardman’s tail.

‘Bloody, we might have the culprit, let’s go!’ W said impatiently wanting to immediately dash off. The bloody creature sluggishly exited the lizard monster’s body. It was clearly stuffed full.

W had no choice but to approach Bloody and try and grab it.

‘I can’t feel anything but this looks disgusting to touch’ W was grateful for having two senses for once as he placed Bloody on his back and dashed off after the lizardman.

The tunnel had a couple of turns but W did not lose sight of the lizardman, he would always at least see the tail of the creature when it turned.

‘I wonder what it is’ W was very curious, he only sped up the more he thought about it.