Sweet Wife in My Arms

“This isn’t a bad painting.” Lu Jin was holding the painting in his arms, about to weep but unable to shed a tear, “This is my life.”

Lu Yi was listening to the talking voices of Ye Shuyun and Lu Jin in the study and this made the edges of his lips lift slightly. However there was still an indescribable heaviness remained in his chest, as if it was pressing down on his heart until the heart was about to explode.

The phone in his pocket was buzzing so he took it out and placed it near his ear.

“Qingyi, what’s wrong?”

Lei Qingyi was holding onto the phone, uncertain whether to tell what he had found. If he were to tell, he was not sure whether to say the truth or fake a lie.

“Lu Yi, I’ve figured out the thing you asked me to check, but I don’t know whether I should tell you what the outcome was. Do you want to hear the truth or a white lie?”

Lu Yi was silent for a long time and this made Lei Qingyi eager to slap himself. What was he even talking about?

“Tell me, I’m listening.” Lu Yi rolled his sleeve up, “Who was it?”

“It’s…” Lei Qingyi was grabbing his own hair as he was not sure how to tell the truth in words.

“It’s…” He hesitated for a while and at last, he had no choice but to spill the beans. Alright, alright, he would say it, he would say it.

“It was your grandfather who did it. I questioned the military doctor but he did not reveal anything to anyone. There was no clue of how your grandfather found out the place but it was indeed him who leaked the news.”

Besides, Lei Qingyi was reluctant to talk about this, “Tell me, are we even brothers? How could you not have told me after such a huge incident? Now that things have taken an unfavorable turn, how are you going to fix it? My Lingling had cried her eyes out, because she’s afraid that you and Yan Huan might get divorced.”

“You can tell her.” Lu Yi straightened his body. His expression looked untroubled, except for the tinge of restlessness in his eyes that was almost concealed by his gloominess.

“I will never divorce Huanhuan.”

“I’ve been telling her that.” Lei Qingyi left out a gasp. “I understand and trust you too.” Likewise, he did not have a definitive answer either, “Don’t you think your grandfather was too exertive? How could he reveal these kinds of personal stuff when you’ve been covering it up for so long? Besides, Yan Huan was the savior of the Ye family back then.” He had not seen anyone who would hurt his benefactor this way after gaining an advantage.

“Thank you.” Lu Yi refused to answer Lei Qingyi’s question because he too wanted to know the answer to this unsolved question.

He hung up and kept his phone back in his pocket, before striding away. The breeze outside was so cozy but it was unable to warm his dullness, even with the scorching rays of light shining on him.

 He could not feel warmth nor comfort.

He opened the door and entered with mild steps, while throwing the keys in his hands to the side.

“Huanhuan…” He called out her name but no one answered.

He walked into the bedroom while pushing the door ajar softly. On the huge bed was someone who curled up into a tiny ball, like cats and dogs abandoned by their owners.

He removed his shoes and got into the blanket, then he embraced her in his arms tightly.

“Huanhuan, don’t be afraid. Everything will be alright.”

“Will it?” Yan Huan was grabbing Lu Yi’s shirt, her voice was hoarse while her eyes were dry. Right now, she was unable to cry even if she wanted to. How could things be fixed? Someone tell her, how could it get fixed or who could help her, even to bear a child or shut everyone’s mouths?”

From now on, everyone would know that she was a hen that could not lay eggs.

“They would, they certainly would.” Lu Yi was touching her hair gently, while pressing her head deep into his chest.

“No matter what happens, we will face it together. If you feel bad about your body, I’ll get a vasectomy so that you could feel better. I don’t want any children but you.”

Yan Huan shook her head. All of a sudden, she started to weep like a child. She no longer wanted to hold her feelings back, neither could she bottle it up anymore, because this was her wound that was incapable of healing. It was a pain so excruciating that it could not withstand even a gentle touch. Now that her secret was exposed to the public, it was like tearing her flesh piece by piece under scrutinizing eyes, before letting her bleed out.

This was neither insulting nor sarcastic.

This was brutal and unsparing.

She had lived through them once, did she need to bear with the pain again in this life?

“Don’t be scared and don’t cry.” Lu Yi could feel a lump in his throat because he could not carry the pain for her. All he could do was to tell her not to be afraid and not to shed a tear.

That was right. Do not be afraid and do not cry.

He would always be there, not leaving her for this life.

It was fine to have no children. He did not even care if she could not bear a child.

“Listen to me.” Lu Yi was comforting her lovingly, while a pair of big, dry hands which were always warm patted her shoulder.

“It doesn’t matter to me, not my parents, not my grandfather.”

“You’re a part of the Lu family now, a part of all of us. No one is abandoning you and no one is giving you up. So cheer up and do not give in. We’re going to stick together for our whole life, okay?”

“Okay…”

Yan Huan felt another lump in her throat and tears started to stream in big droplets, soaking his shirt wet.

What fault had she had and what kind of sins had she committed? She was not able to bear her own child in this life and keep her child in the last life. However, what good deeds had she done or what form of kindness was she blessed with, to have such wonderful family members like them?

She did not have a family, but Lu Jin, Ye Shuyun, and Old Master Lu were all accepting her with open arms. She could not face them nor had any dignity to stand before them.

“I don’t want to go out,” she said in a stuffy voice. She did not want to step out of the room nor did she want to see anybody. She just wanted to shut herself in this little room, hiding as the days passed.

“Okay, we’re not going out.” Lu Yi embraced her even tighter in his hug, “I’m staying with you. We’re going nowhere, is that okay?”

“Okay…” Yan Huan spoke again, her hands were grasping Lu Yi’s shirt constantly. She then found the buttons on his shirt and held them tight in her palms, as if this action could make her feel more secure.

The wind outside was blowing, slightly cool and leaves were dropping from the trees.

One piece, two pieces…

Gradually the wind was nowhere to be felt but the new leaves had fallen with the breeze.

Was that a green hope?