Chapter 73 - Smile?
Chapter 73 - Smile?
Soran left the room to report to his Master, which was probably the dean, Shang assumed.
Viera went back to whatever she was doing, and Mervin pulled Shang along with him.
Mervin led Shang to the gates of the academy, and they quickly left it.
By now, Shang could see a busy city, a far cry from the dead city he had seen at night.
Shang could hear the constant hitting of hammers, the roaring fires in bakeries and forges, and many people loudly trading with each other on the streets.
Even more, nearly every person on the streets wore armor and weapons, showing that they were warriors.
Mervin and Shang then left the city without saying anything. When the guards saw Mervin, they simply shot him a greeting and let him pass.
Then, the two of them ran down the long street, which was filled with many different carts. The carts were all filled with different wares.
"You should listen to Soran," Mervin said suddenly.
Shang didn't answer.
Ever since Soran had said that Shang hadn't smiled even once, Shang had fallen into thought.
He still remembered his time on Earth. Back then, he had been a very extroverted and outgoing person. He had enjoyed smiling and being amongst others.
Shang had also smiled quite a bit when he had been in this world. His interactions with the villagers of Coldew Village had felt natural. Shang had smiled politely, and he had laughed with them a little bit.
When had all of this stopped?
When had he stopped smiling?
It wasn't hard to find the moment.
It was when Shang had killed the beggars and when he had decided to kill off his old persona.
He didn't remember his old name anymore, and he also didn't care. He no longer was this person.
Yet, was Shang truly the person he wanted to be?
"I don't know," Shang said. "It's a lot to think about."
"That's a good thing," Mervin said. "If your feelings have been thrown out of equilibrium by Soran's words, it means there is still hope for you."
"Listen, being more open and less self-destructive isn't only a good thing for the people around you but also for you. It makes it far easier to interact with the world, and you will find your way forward easier."
"People generally don't want to help someone they feel is dangerous or apathetic. By being as you are now, you will find it harder to get the resources you need in the future. At some point, the traders have enough wealth and power to choose their customers. There is far more demand than supply for their wares."
"When you can sell your supply to anyone you want, you will sell it to someone you enjoy the company of. Sure, you can probably also buy these supplies, but you would need to pay a hefty premium."
"Additionally, there are techniques and resources you can only acquire by being part of an organization, and many of them put a lot of value on cooperation. We humans are not lonesome beings. One of our biggest strengths is the ability to work together. Someone who appears apathetic and hard to get along with is not the first choice for these organizations."
"You are still young, Shang," Mervin said. "You have plenty of time to change. The only thing standing in your way is you."
"I'm also certain that you can change. After all, if you were truly as cold and apathetic as you appear, Soran's words wouldn't have had an effect on you."
"But in the end, it's up to you. You can listen to my words or simply treat them as the ramblings of an old man," Mervin said.
Shang had silently listened to Mervin's words, and he was honestly thinking about them.
Shang had also noticed that Mervin was truly someone that cared about others. He tried to act like a grumpy old man, but he actually wanted to help his students.
Mervin obviously didn't like talking too much, but he had said so much to Shang in such a short time, which showed that he definitely cared about Shang's development.
For a moment, Shang wasn't certain what he should say.
Should he thank him?
Should he start a discussion with him?
Should he smile and tell him that he will try to put these changes into effect?
In the end, Shang did nothing.
All of these potential reactions felt like they weren't important.
So, the two of them only continued jogging in silence down the road.
Mervin noticed with furrowed brows that Shang didn't react, and he silently sighed.
Shang hadn't given Mervin an answer, but Mervin saw Shang's answer by his inaction.
In a way, pleasing Mervin was something that would help Shang in the long run. After all, Mervin was an experienced teacher, and the better their relationship, the more Mervin would be willing to teach Shang.
Shang obviously knew that, and Mervin knew that Shang knew that.
Yet, Shang didn't even make an attempt at pleasing him.
At this moment, one had to pay attention that one didn't understand Mervin incorrectly. Mervin wasn't someone that liked it when people tried to please him. This was not what he was concerned about.
The thing he was concerned about was Shang's inability to try to make his life easier.
It was so easy for Shang to make his life easier.
He only had to thank Mervin for his advice.
That was it.
What was so hard about doing that? It was simply a mere formality.
Yet, Shang didn't say anything.
Just going through this tiny formality could make his life so much easier, but he didn't even do that.
It was like Shang was actively trying to make his own life harder and trying to make himself unlikable on purpose.
Of course, Mervin knew that this was not Shang's intention. However, this was the effect of Shang's actions, intended or not.
Of course, Shang also knew these things. He had lived on Earth, and being polite was something very basic that everyone could do. Back then, Shang had been polite to his teachers, strangers, customers, his employers, and everyone else.
Saying please and thank you was normal.
Giving a mere polite smile was normal.
But now, Shang didn't even do that, even though he had learned these principles and lived by them for his entire life.
Shang realized these things. He had a great affinity for introspection, which allowed him to analyze himself from a detached, objective perspective.
He had noticed that he appeared very uncooperative at this moment, and he knew that this could make his life harder in the future.
Yet, for some reason, Shang simply felt like it wasn't important.
It felt like it was too much work for too little return.
However, Shang also knew that this basically didn't count as work. How could a couple of perfunctory words and a light smile be called work?
'What's wrong with me?' Shang thought in uncertainty. 'This shouldn't be hard, but for some reason, it feels so hard.'
'I don't want to smile, and it feels like work.'
'Why? Why does it feel like so much work?'
"We're here," Mervin said as he stopped.
Shang had been occupied with his thoughts, and he hadn't noticed where they had gone to.
At the moment, Shang stood in front of the Wild Forest. Shang remembered that the Wild Forest was filled with beasts in the First Realm, the Soldier Stage.
Was he supposed to kill a beast?
"Kill a Pest Cat," Mervin ordered.
"When you've killed a Pest Cat, you will be accepted into the academy."