Chapter 65 - 66. Two Persons
"you are very lucky," I envied him a lot, "After that incident, I had to go on rehabilitation for almost two years. I suffered from trauma, afraid of loud noise, especially from an explosion, balloon explosion, or anything," I took a deep breath, gasping for air, filling up my lungs that suddenly felt tight.
"Even up to now I still cry anytime I remember that tragedy. That nightmare still comes to my dreams every night like a friend in my sleep so far," I got to be looking so pathetic in his eyes, "It is like a rotten thing sticking on my body but cannot take it away no matter how hard I try to get rid of it,"
"I am so sorry to bring you back to that painful tragedy," Antonie said. From his expression, he felt so sorry for me. He picked up all the photos in front of us, then he handed them to me, "That is all the memory that I have. That horrible experience somehow still makes me be grateful because I am still having it as part of my past. Although I also experienced the same fear anytime I remembered it, the same as you,"
We were two totally different persons with few similarities, it was having one similar memory. I hated such recollection but on the contrary, Antonie was grateful for being able to remember it.
We saw what we had with us from a different point of view. To be honest, I envied him for being able to see the positive side pretty well and how to treat the memory of that dreadful tragedy became something to be grateful for.
"Tha, how is your friend now?" Such questions made me feel that Antonie pull me in the reality in the present time.
I was trying to smile, "We are waiting for the time that spell to fade away, then he will go back to where he belongs, the spirit world. I don't want him to keep staying with me, not because I hate him but some issues have to run naturally, right?" Antonie nodded and smiled lightly.
"if there is something that works unnaturally, not following the rules that have been set by God, it will turn out bad. The alive ones must be allowed to live and the ones whose time has come, are not supposed to be in this world. Death is not a bad thing, it is to keep life balanced," At this point, I was quite grateful with I had been through, trying to convince myself and people around me that I could go past the darkest period of my life and was able to take the good side of it in my life.
We were two persons who were in the park when that horrible incident took place. We also still kept that incident in our memory. The only difference was that Antonie badly wanted to remember it because it was the only piece of the past he had. On the other hand, I really wished I could forget it because anytime I remembered that shooting incident, I would get a nightmare throughout the night.
"I was there when three of them fell down. There was too much blood coming out from those victims. I was frozen on the place due to great shock, I guess," Antonie was still trying to recall it.
I was stunned by the place. Every time I saw him recall that incident, it dragged me to see Zie who suddenly collapsed in my eyes, then that thick red liquid flew out from a hole on his head and spread on the ground where he lay, "Is that the only memory you have?"
Antonie nodded in replying to me. I could not imagine if I had been him who had only that memory in my mind, "Why were you there on that day? Did you live somewhere around there too?' I tried hard to keep the tears from falling, feeling like I opened the old wound again by asking such questions to the man in front of me.
"I did not know I was there on that day," he stared at me, "I just saw someone point his pistol to that young man, and after that, I heard an explosion and the young man fell headlong on the ground. I was just looking at him when the second bullet was spewed out. And when I was looking in another direction, one of the twins and that fat boy were down on the ground. That is all I can remember,"
No more could I hold the tear when Anthonie finished narrating that tragedy. My body was shaking due to the sob, my eyes get blurred from the clear liquid flowing nonstop.
I could not remember what happened next because Azalea suddenly took me out of the cage and tried to stop me from sobbing, "Why me? What did I do wrong? I really want to be with him even if only once. Please," I was raving within the sob until a slap on my upper arm was able to make me come on.
"What happened to you, Tha?" She lifted my chin up, urging me to speak, "What did he tell you to make you look like hell? What are you to him?" her gaze demanded an answer.
"The playground in his memory is the place where Zie was dead. He was there when that tragedy took place," I was trying to speak in my sobbing, "Antonie saw it when they were massacred without any reasons," I told Azalea, hoping she would understand and that was on the lowest point of my emotional state when I recalled it an unlucky day.
Azalea just nodded and looked into my eyes. I could not precisely reply to her gaze. Later she asked me to get up and took me to the training room.
Yoru and Naar were already in that training room. There was also another man I had never seen before. I sat in front of them and I bent my head down, trying to hide my swollen eyes and my silly face due to crying too much. I wiped my face although I knew it gave very little effect. My tears were still running down but not as much as before.
"Tha, calm down yourself first now," Naar smiled and asked me to control myself before I told them everything I knew about Antonie's recollection. "That tragedy is over now. Everything will be alright. Just relaxed, okay?"
I nodded and tried to smile to give myself more courage that everything was done and I was fine. "I and Antonie were two people out of three in that park when that massacre of three people took place at that time. But at that time I did not know his presence," I spoke slowly to them to make it clearer to understand.
"Antonie said that he saw three kids fall down after the shootings. That park and his memory he still keeps was that tragedy," I looked them into everyone's eyes, "I don't know why that memory became so important for him because I have not asked him yet," my feeling was still awful so that I could not describe the story in detail.
"You did not see him at that time?" Someone next to Naar asked.
"no, I did not. But it could be that he was there but I did not see him," I replied, "It was just out of the blue. They were playing happily in front of you and all of the sudden ear-shattering explosions were heard, and things changed instantly," I explained things that I could remember because there were not many to ask him yet, the reasons why he only remembered that incident, and what he was there at that time.
After my mind got clearer and I stopped crying, I could think of many things I wanted to know from Antonie. I could feel that I could find the connection about everything with the immortality spell or whatever it would be.
"I wonder if I can get one more chance to meet Antonie, perhaps tomorrow or the day after tomorrow," They got mixed up with my request, "I know I have messed everything up today. I was so much shocked when he admitted that he was around at the tragedy, and I suddenly remembered and … ,"
I mumbled to myself that I needed time to be able to control myself. Healing that wound that felt like a fresh one was a real struggle. I needed to set some questions in advance so that Antonie could gain his lost memory. I really wished he could gain at least half of it.
"Will you be able to address some questions that may be able to provoke his memory back, before or after that incident? I really hope you can help him," They gave me a list of questions on pieces of paper for Antonie.
"Those are the list of questions we made for you. If you have some other more questions, please add them up," the man sitting near Yoru who I did not know spoke up. We give you one day's rest.." And after that, they left me alone with Naar.