Chapter 68 - 69. Forgive Him?
After seeing the fruit shop which was not far from the school building that had been opened, I went to meet the owner immediately to try my idea. "Excuse me, I would like to ask you something. I wonder if you ever saw this kid," I asked politely and held out my cell phone showing Antonie's photo, "Does he live around here?"
The fruit shop owner looked at me with a suspicious look. He looked at me and he photo alternately, "I never saw him," He said
I did not want to waste my time, I started asking some people around the park, passers-by, the security of my old school, the passers-by with their shopping bags, and the fruit shop owner said the same thing, they had never seen Antonie.
"Miss, we have to go back," it was noon already when Kerberos reminded me.
I stopped what I was doing, then looked at Kerberos who was behind me, wanting to tell him that it was all useless, "Should I go home now?" My voice was frustrated. I was not satisfied because I could not find anyone who had ever seen Antonie around here. I knew it was time for me to go back, or Azalea would be angry with me, "Alright," I gave up.
Kerberos took me to the portal to go into that dimension and when we got there, I directly went to the building where Antonie was kept in his cage. I saw him was reading a book while snacking the food I gave to him. he looked so fine with all his memory, even he wanted to get all his recollections because it was the only thing he had. Meanwhile, it did not work the same with me.
"Have you found something?" Azalea patted me from behind. I shook my head. I falt today I felt like I had failed, "Come with me," She said firmly then she left the detention room.
Azalea took me to her room. So long as stayed here, I had never been invited to her room, it might be the first time. The place was not a typical workplace, it was more like a preservation museum or things like that. Azalea had an interest in owls, or probably she really liked it.
I saw preserved owls in almost every part of her room, including the living one that was currently perched on the side of her chair by her table. 'this woman is still sane, isn't she? Should not she be keeping carcasses, like this? Doesn't she think that bacteria could spread in this room? Is she not afraid of contracting the disease, or at least feel disgusted?' My heart and mind were confused.
"I will tell you something that might help you to make Antonie gain his memory back," She showed me a photo, and I was so much shocked when I saw it.
"Antonie," My voice was choked once I was sure that the picture Azalea showed me was a man who had killed Zie, "What does it mean?" my voice was soft and I looked at Azalea in confusion.
"Antonie in the body of that boy is the same Antonie in that picture," I got more shocked listening to Azalea's explanation. "He was trying to get away from the punishment I would give him for killing some men. At first, I was suspicious that he might want to get rid of his memory on purpose and only for some time. But Anty found the facts that the immortality ritual he did was not perfect,"
"He made us believe that he had died for killing himself when we wanted to catch him. But the fact that he transferred his spirit into the body of that kid, then he expected to live again with his new identity. But due to the imperfect ritual he performed, and the cat that was expected to cast the spell on him, he gave it to someone else instead, making him unable to recall his true identity before performing the spirit transfer.
"We need that spell so that it will not be misused again. That is why we are trying to restore his memory," It felt like a huge storm struck my chest after listening to Azalea's explanation. I treated Antonie like my own little brother, but he turned out to be the same man who had killed Zie.
"He does not remember anything of his past?" I asked again to confirm, "How can he be so selfish? Why did he have to run away? How can he be unrepentant for everything he has done!" I felt the whole world was so mean to me when I had to endure all those memories like a nightmare that had no end so I found myself ended up in a rehabilitation hospital for some years. Meanwhile, he simply forgot things and was so calm as if he was innocent.
"This is really unfair!" I was so furious. Emotion, sadness, disappointment and all pain struck me at the same time, making me even more frustrated, "He should have repented it and took the punishment he deserved for what he has done!" I looked into Azalea's eyes deeply, trying to express all words I could find to say it out loud but I was incapable of saying it.
For the pause that was the only gap between me and Azalea, she just looked into me without saying anything. I knew I simply had to carry on my job to help Antonie restore his past without sparing my feeling.
"it is not the reason to drop your responsibility! I have sent my best guards to take care of your friend so that no wizards can disturb him, and the only thing to pay off all of that is to do to the job I have assigned to you!" Azalea had no sense of humanity at all, but what she said was right. We had an agreement to complete.
…
I went back to Antonie's cage with my mixed-up emotions. I was confused about myself how to behave in front of him. he was the one who had killed Zie, but at the same time, he did not even know what he had done.
'Do I have to forgive him? How could I behave normally to him after I know that he is the man who has given me that nightmare so far? I can't even look at his face now, let alone smile at him!'
I stood by the edge of the hole where all the detentions were kept in a hanging cage. I looked at one cage that sounded very noisy from up here. Antonie was playing his flute I did not know where he got it from. He lived free of any burden and fearless. Even anytime Falak came and ate up the prisoners around him, he did not wince at all. I did not see any fear in his heart.
"I just want to say life is for life, blood is for blood, even when one of my teeth was pulled out, it had to be paid with the same tooth pulled out from me." I reminded myself, "He has saved me by making me awake when Falak comes. Has Zie's life been replaced with my life that has been saved by him?"
Honestly, at the moment I did not know what I had to do. Perhaps, it would be alright if I helped him restore his past before he back to live in his present body. so I had to stay focused on my job to fulfill my responsibility to Azalea.
"Antonie." The owner of that name looked up from his cage after listening to my scream. Then I showed him a bag of sweets I had promised him, "Tomorrow, okay? Don't forget to write down what I have asked you," he saluted to me.
I was sure he would keep his words we had agreed. I wanted to read all he could remember, hoping that his handwriting could help me to define ways to recall his memory.
…
It was such a tiring day for me, not only physically, but I felt my mental was shaken again like what happened years ago. I decided to go back to my room after visiting Antonie. I really hoped I could rest my physic and rest for a while.
My footsteps were halted when I saw someone was standing in front of my door, Hi?" I greeted him, "Are you looking for me or Kerberos?" I said half-mocking while walking toward him, "Why are you silent?" I laughed slowly when he looked awkward.
"Have you done with your job?" I nodded in reply to his question, "Would you like to watch that music performance again? We can go there this evening if you want to go again," His voice was so soft, but I could hear it.. I smiled widely to see him so much awkward and shy at the moment.