Chapter 76 - 77. Stay Back!
I caught a glimpse of Antonie's dead body before I went up with the Manji on my side. Naar looked at me in horror, so did azalea. On the other hand, Kerberos was already at the entrance in his real form.
"Do I have to take you now? I will take you to that marionette." Azalea's words stopped me when I was about to approach Kerberos, "Control yourself. Don't make such a decision when you are angry. You will only realize you have done all the damage once your anger subsides, and when the time comes, you won't be able to fix the damage."
"They tricked me. What did I do wrong that they did this to me? Why me? I fought everything for Zie, but behind all my efforts and struggles all this time, it was just a damn drama they created to play with me," I wanted to cry, but my tears seemed to go dry and none left. "
"I feel like I am living in a small world they created so that they can play with me like a useless doll," My voice sounded deep and piercing, my eyes were fixed on that woman in front of me.
"You are actually aware of this too, aren't you?" I said angrily, "You deliberately hid it from me!" I was cornering her, "Was it all fake when you asked me to recollect Antonie's memory and searched for immortality? Tell me!"
"The immortality spell does exist. Calm down," Azalea who usually was so loud, now seemed to soften, "I asked you to restore his memory because I knew you were the only one who was still alive. All the children in that tragedy have died. You are the only one that remained," This explanation left me shocked and confused.
"A few days after we questioned the tragedy on the children who were there, they all died suddenly," Azalea said.
I was speechless for a moment because I felt my head throbbing violently again. I could barely distinguish which was real and which was fake. After calming down, I chose to ignore Azalea and looked at Kerberos, "If you want to take that spirit, I will help you." I said to that creature.
Azalea tried to stop me again. She held my arm when I was about to walk towards Kerberos, "If you want to hear my advice, it is better not to do that at all,"
I snatched my arm to free it from Azalea's grip. I stared at her, then I turned around and pointed at the blood that was still dripping from the cut of Antonie's neck, "My job is done. There is not anyone's memory that needs to be recovered. I have killed him," I said straightforwardly, then walked toward Kerberos again.
"Zie has nothing to do with any of this," Azalea said. "Even though it was just an illusion they gave to you, don't you feel grateful to have it as a piece of your past? Maybe he is also a child whose life is just like yours, who doesn't understand anything, and thinks that illusion is his world." Azalea's words stopped me from climbing onto Kerberos' back.
"You are here angry because you feel that you have been played by them?" I did not reply to Azalea's question, just stood still, "Then, what about Zie who only has you in his memory? Do you have a heart to snatch that memory away from him?".
I took a deep breath while thinking over what Azalea said. She might be right that Zie did not know his life as much as I did. He only had the illusionary world life with me. Then, he was terminated on purpose to kill my mentality. He considered me his friend and made me the only person he had in the fake world.
"I consider your task is done although I feel a bit disappointed because the spell disappeared with the killing of Antonie," Azalea said again, "You can be angry with those who have played with you, but don't the child who doesn't know anything."
I remained unmoved after listening to Azalea's words. Zie and I were both victims. We were both marionettes playing on the stage. 'Did they desperately want to destroy my life? How could they do such evil things to me for so long this time? Even they did the same evil things to Zie.'
I closed my eyes and tried to control the emotions that might explode at any time. Taking a deep breath, I convinced myself that I was tough and strong.
Some time passed, I opened my eyes and signaled Kerberos to turn his body into a white dog again, while the Manji slowly faded into scattered grains of sands, "What should I do?" I asked slowly, "I can barely recognize which is real and which is false." I looked at Azalea in confusion.
"I just found out about this a few days ago. I was also confused about how to tell you this. That was why I could not give you instructions for you to restore Antonie's memory again," now I understood why Azalea seemed to be hiding something from me a few days back.
"I will not allow you to cross into the human world with your current condition, you are so unstable," I looked at Azalea, annoyed. I really wanted to know if my world out there was so much different from what I had seen so far—or remained the same, and what things were only illusions.
"I don't want to slash other wizard heads," Azalea was firm, then she instructed Naar to take me out of that prison.
…
I was locked in my own room, under the tight watch of Azalea's guards. I would be allowed to cross back into the human world once she was done dealing with the rest of the wizards regarding Antonie's killing.
The murder case of one of the most feared wizards who held the title Master of illusion spread quickly. I knew it from the talks of two guards in front of my room door.
That rules were also applied to Hana. She could not meet me directly to deliver food but through a hole made at the room door.
At this point, I felt like a creature who could threaten anyone's life so I needed to be shunned. But it was quite understandable because I was indeed dangerous. I did not even realize that I had been killed. It happened so fast that I felt it was not the real me.
I stared blankly at the steel wall in front of me, listening to the strains of beautiful music from the music box caressing my eardrums. Naar room, which was above mine, made me able to hear it clearly. For a moment I felt calm, curling up in my bed with that music.
Not long after that, the strains of music seemed to answer each other with Kerberos' loud barks. Kerberos seemed to also experience this illusion so that he had to undergo healing. I just wanted to get out of here and see everything, my house, Emma's flower shop, and what thing I still had.
However, reality and illusion turned out to be really confusing for me. I could not distinguish both of them and made a guess about how strong the illusion was given to me by Antonie. I was worried when I crossed Euron, things would not be the same anymore.
"Master of illusion, I want to know how strong the illusion that you have planted in me," I muttered.
I did not know how long I had stared blankly at the steel wall until a knock at the door woke me up. Azalea came in with Naar and Yoru. That woman stared at me sharply, and I looked back at her, "I will not allow you to cross until you are really stable emotionally," She warned me.
"Elder has known about Antonie's death, including your father. Now, I can no longer hide your identity as Youenha's successor. They will meet you tomorrow. Mind your attitude!" She again warned me!"
All of Azalea's warnings meant nothing to me. I chose to remain silent and looked down. I thought she was just like Antonie who gave me an illusion. She covered everything up and did not tell me.
"Where is Kerberos?" I looked at her.
"For the time being, I need to split you both," She replied, then she left the room with Yoru.
I turned my gaze to the man who was just silent by the door. He looked at me with mixed emotion, fear, pity, and anything I could not define precisely. "Don't come to me! I am very dangerous," I said, chuckling softly.
Naar smiled and walked to me, "Didn't I say that I was dangerous? Stay back!I can hurt you anytime!" I tried to warn him again.
"I am aware of that without you telling me," he said as he sat next to me.
There was a pause filling up the steel walls in front of us, "I have never seen one before," a deep voice creaked softly, breaking the silence we created.