Chapter 444 - Need You
Chapter 444 – Need You
GAR
A tortured groan broke in Gar's throat as he pulled her closer, and for the first time, felt her give under his hands.
Oh, she'd shown desire before, even instigated kisses, and sought his touch—a little. But he'd always been able to feel her tension. Feel the way half her mind was watching, measuring, ready to flee.
But this…
Rika sobbed into his kiss and her hands clung, gripping his shoulders and clawing into his hair. She arched into him and pulled at his back, wanting more.
Gar didn't even think—it was instinct—he just leaned down and picked her up, one arm behind her knees, the other behind her shoulders.
She tensed and grabbed at him, but didn't scream. And didn't push him away.
Gar stepped back to the couch, seating himself and letting her ass slide into the corner between his thigh and the arm of the couch, her legs crooked over his thighs.
She was sitting up, facing him and he leaned into her, stroking her hair, locking eyes, letting her see the fire inside him—and the soothing cool.
"Look at me," he rasped, and she did, her wide eyes locking on his. "I will never push you, Rika. If I do something or say something that makes you feel pressured, you just tell me and I'll stop."
Her throat bobbed and she nodded. "Me too," she said, her voice hushed.
Gar chuckled. "Trust me, whatever you want, you'll have," he said, and found it within himself to wink, which made her smile. But it faded quickly.
"Let's just sit here for a second," he said, urging himself to calm. He had one arm on the arm of the couch behind her shoulders. The other rested on her legs, his thumb on the round of her thigh, his fingers curling around her leg. He swallowed. "Is that… too much?"
She shook her head. "Not if… Not if we just sit here for a second."
Gar nodded, then waited. Staring love and adoration at her, pleading.
Fuck, he was enslaved. And he didn't even care.
Her breath was rapid and shallow, her eyes shining. She squirmed and Gar almost dropped her gaze, groaning when her leg brushed his groin. But he couldn't scare her. Couldn't let her feel trapped.
Then Rika lifted one hand to his neck, trailing her cool fingers up the tendon that was no doubt standing proud because he had his teeth gritted against the desire to kiss her.
"Gar?" she asked quietly.
"Yes?"
"What does it mean, being mated. What do you have to do? To accept the bond, I mean?"
His heart sang and he felt himself shake like a cub on the verge of feeding. Fuck! He had to be so careful.
"There's, um, nothing to accepting the bond itself except… I don't know, recognizing it? Believing it. letting yourself give in to it?"
"Surrender," she breathed.
Gar nodded, holding his breath. "There's a ceremony we use here, when True Mates choose each other. But I don't think… I don't think it would help you—"
"Why not?"
"Because it's all about fighting for your mate—fighting your way through other to get to them, then fighting your way out of everyone together."
Rika leaned back, shuddering. "No, I… do we have to do?"
She wanted to walk the Flames and Smoke with him? She would even consider it? Gar's eyes began to burn.
"No," he whispered and reached up to push a strand of hair off her cheek, very gently, with one finger. "We don't have to. We can just… I don't know. The bond is real whether we walk the Flames and Smoke together or not, Rika."
She swallowed, her eyes still fixed on his. "I think I want to. Be your mate, I mean."
The "think" killed him a little bit inside, but he nodded. "That's good. I want to be yours, too."
She nodded. "I just don't know how to kind of… take the plunge, you know? And I'm afraid… I'm afraid if I don't do something to tie myself to you that I'll get afraid again."
He was afraid of that too. And that made the temptation to carry her to bed, to cement the bond, even richer. But what if it went wrong? What if he scared her before the bond clicked into place? What if she freaked out again, and wouldn't try after that?
He had to be so careful. Like stroking the wings of a butterfly, never touching hard enough to dislodge the feathers.
"I think we just need time," he said, and almost groaned at the disappointment that shadowed her eyes. "But I'll ask the elders. Maybe there's something other than the Rite…"
Rika cleared her throat and looked down, taking his free hand in both of hers and turning it over to trace the lines in his palm with a finger. It was a tiny, delicious touch, and he almost groaned again.
"In my world we… get married."
"How?" He'd climb the fucking cliffs of midnight naked it if would make her more comfortable to give herself to him.
"We exchange vows. Publicly. And we… have sex after."
Gar felt his eyes widen.
So careful. He needed to be so careful.
"Sex is important here, too," he whispered. "It cements the bond."
Rika blinked once, then twice… then again. "So if we… do it… this bond…"
"It'll click into place," he said. "At least, I think it will," he whispered. "I think you have to be comfortable though. I couldn't do that to you, Rika, if you aren't ready. No matter what it would do to the bond. I can't stand the idea of scaring you."
"Sex doesn't scare me, Gar. Love scares me."
He pulled back slightly from that and blinked, as his entire young-adult life suddenly made more sense. "I… I think that's exactly how I feel too," he said, stunned. "I just never thought about it that way."
They stared at each other and Rika's lips curled up slowly into a small smile.
"I want to be yours, Gar. I do."
Gar groaned and leaned in until their noses almost touched. "I want you so badly, Rika. In whatever form or ritual… whatever you can give. I want it."
She took his face in her hands and pulled him across the last inch into a kiss that Gar fell into headlong, tumbling, until his heart crashed into hers and exploded.