Chapter 165 - Do You Hate Her?
"Ehh...noo...w-why would I spy on your private life? But since I am a spirit....there are times when I get bored and…"
"And you take a look at my life to keep yourself entertained, huh? I thought you were tied down to this place. Don't tell me you could go around the whole world if you want to?" Viktor asked in a doubtful tone though he didn't mind if Little Ghost did take a peek at his daily life since there was no harm, and he could understand how bored and sad she might have been after being stuck in this place for so long.
"Of course, I am tied down to this place.. Otherwise, I might have tried to contact you before. But with the help of a certain someone, I was able to take a peek at what you did recently only."
Viktor guessed that it must have been the higher being who helped her though he wondered why this being was so interested in making contact with her.
"So I know all about your recent troubles and the women you have been sleeping with, especially the one named Umi. It seems like you want to love her but are afraid to…But I can understand that...love has only given you pain in the end..." Little Ghost said in a somewhat sad tone while Viktor nodded with a glazed expression.
"But do you know what is immortal other than yourself?"
"What?" Viktor asked curiously, wondering what Little Ghost had to say.
"Love...It is one thing death cannot touch because the love and memories you made with women you loved still live on in your heart, don't they?"
Viktor lowered his head as his eyes looked up, pondering on her words.
"Still...the pain of seeing them go away and missing them always hits hard no matter how many times I have witnessed it. If it were the deaths of others, I would become indifferent to them considering it as something normal but not the ones I love," Viktor said in a low voice, feeling comfortable in telling Little Ghost these things for some reason as if he could confide in her.
"You are right...that kind of pain could be inevitable for someone who loves them dearly. But tell me, would you rather not fall in love with them, give away the decades of happy and loving memories you might have made with them just to avoid the pain? Would they also think it's worth it?" Little Ghost said as she leaned her head towards his direction, her expression inscrutable and her voice dreamy as always.
Viktor intently listened to her words, feeling as if his heart was becoming a bit more clearer.
However, a vague image of a woman surfaced in his mind after all these centuries since he buried the memories of the time he spent with her on purpose. But now, before he knew it, the memories of the past, especially the ones related to her, were surfacing up, including the happy memories he spent with her.
Little Ghost noticed how his expression suddenly became heavier and asked, "Who are you thinking about to make you look so down?"
"Who else...other than the woman who betrayed me...Sae Mou…"
Little Ghost looked away, and after a few moments of silence, she asked, "You...still hate her, right?"
Viktor's expression became complicated as he said, "All these years, I felt more than just hate for her. It was like how I wished to have never met her and have her existence erased from the past. But now...after hearing that she was related to the Fujo Clan and hearing their side of the story, I don't know why...but I am unable to feel hate for her now instead I don't know what to feel...." Viktor's expression became mixed with confusion, as well as if he was having a hard time understanding what he was feeling.
Little Ghost looked at his face again for a while before asking as she again turned away, "Why…? Didn't she commit a grave sin by trying to kill you? "
"But if I had been in her shoes, wouldn't I have done the same? Maybe, something worse. In fact, it's exactly what I did by infiltrating Borin's kingdom. I killed her people and everyone she loved in my anger towards Borin when they had nothing to do with the death of my loved ones," Viktor said with audible stress in his voice.
Little Ghost silently listened to him as she walked beside him.
"But...what's worse was I thought she really loved me, especially when I now remembered the memories we shared. Unless she was someone who knew how to act well, it didn't feel fake," Viktor said with knitted brows, replaying certain events hidden deep within his mind.
When he began to remember these events from a different perspective, he noticed that things seemed a bit different from what he thought.
Little Ghost hid her hands and said, "It seems like...you still hold some feelings for her...Do you?"
Viktor rubbed his forehead and said with a heavy sigh, "No...I...I don't know. But I suddenly wished that I had a chance to talk with her about what I did to her at that time. Maybe it won't lessen the hate and anger she had for me, but I am sure there could have been the chance to change certain things."
"But still...it doesn't change what she did. She conspired and planned to kill you. It's best that you forget about her. She doesn't deserve to stay as a memory in your heart," Little Ghost said in a taut tone.
Viktor looked at her and said with a strange look, "Hm...why does it sound like you don't like her. You couldn't have possibly met her when you were alive, did you?"
"No...but I don't like her because of the pain she caused you," Little Ghost said in an upset tone.
Viktor raised his brows, wondering if Little Ghost adored him that much, making him shake his head with a smile.
"Be careful. We are almost there," Nyissa suddenly warned, making everyone's expression become even more vigilant while Viktor pushed away the woeful thoughts in his mind as he focused on what was ahead.