284 Miss Him (1)
It’s been a day since Jayra’s wedding with Bartos, and Freya had found herself agonizing over her feelings for Gideon for way longer than she wanted.
“This has got to stop…”
Sighing to herself, she knew that holing herself up in her room was doing her more harm than good. Sure, it allowed her to ignore the impending pressure building up inside her chest, but it was still unhealthy for her to continue like this. She knew that she had to face him sooner or later, and with her heart feeling like it was about to explode from all of the uncertainty, the courage to go ahead and just blurt it out loud was making her lose her mind.
“Ugh… Damn it!”
Shaking her head, Freya stood up from her bed and made herself presentable. From there, she got out of her room and walked through the hallways with a singular purpose in mind.
She was going to do it. She was going to try and free herself from all of these emotions lingering in her heart. Whether or not she truly liked Gideon, now would be the time she’d do something about it.
Unfortunately for her, he was nowhere to be found.
As much as she searched, the man constantly plaguing her mind was nowhere to be seen. She even went so far as to scour the entire castle grounds, asking around some of the nearby guards or servants as to where he might be.
In the end, she never found him. Instead, she realized that Gideon had been sent off on an important mission by her brother somewhere.
It was infuriating.
“So he’s gone for a while then…” she sighed to herself as she leaned on the nearest wall, crossing her arms over her chest as she pouted. “Great…”
With her object of focus gone for what was possibly a few days, Freya was left with literally nothing else to do other than to wait. Sure, she could be doing something else, like maybe helping out in the preparations for the royal ceremony, but somehow, the fact that she wouldn’t be seeing Gideon for a while rankled her nerves.
[Hah! He hasn’t even been gone for a day and you already miss him!]
[No, I don’t,] Freya quickly replied her inner wolf. [I’m just annoyed that he’s not here just right after I got the courage to try and talk to him properly.]
[Keep telling yourself that then~] Yal teased. [I’ll be here when you finally get your thoughts together~]
Shaking her head, Freya decided that instead of going back to her room, she might as well have a casual look around the castle. Perhaps a bit of a walk would soothe her fraying nerves, taking her mind off the awkward feeling of loneliness forming in her chest.
“It’ll only be for a while anyway,” she scoffed to herself, mocking her own stupid feelings. “There’s no use fretting over it…”
Still, even as she said those words, Freya still ended up passing by the training grounds every once in a while, her eyes scanning the area as if doing so would magically make Gideon reappear for her convenience. All the while, her inner wolf cackled at her chosen locations to wander off to.
Because for some reason, she found herself cycling through all the places she knew Gideon would use to loiter around.
“What am doing…” she whispered to herself, her own confusion annoying her even as her feet took her to the training grounds yet again. “I’m practically going in circles here.”
[Just admit that you miss him already,] Yal insisted. [If this isn’t the thoughts of a love-struck idiot, then I don’t know what is!]
[Quiet!]
Freya vigorously shook her head, her nerves starting to get to her as her wolf’s words resonated in her head. She most certainly didn’t miss that man. Not when she wasn’t even sure that she truly liked him in the first place!
[Haven’t you already admitted that you like him to yourself just a few days ago?~]
[That was different!] Freya denied it, more out of denial than the actual truth. [Sure, I like him, but that doesn’t mean I love him just yet!]
[What’s the difference?~]
“Freya?”
The princess was taken out of her internal argument as Gilas approached her from behind. Turning around, she smiled as she quickly put herself together enough to not look like an insane person talking to herself in the middle of the hallway.
[Hah!]
[Quiet already!] she inwardly hissed before she nodded at the man before her. “Lord Gilas.”
“I’ve noticed that you’ve been walking around for a while,” he casually spoke, his voice making a few old memories come back to her. “Something on your mind?”
“S-Something like that,” she stuttered, inwardly thinking up a random excuse for her recent behavior. “I guess I’m just a bit jittery from all of the preparations.”
“I could only assume that to be the case,” Gilas nodded. “The preparations for the royal wedding are clearly going into full swing.”
Freya nodded. It was only a good thing that the particular hallway they were in seemed to be busier than usual. “Yeah. Was just walking around to see some of the progress.”
“I see,” Gilas promptly nodded. “Care for some company then?”
“Go ahead,” she smiled.
Casually walking through the castle, Freya found herself slowly easing into having a conversation with Gilas, their current arrangement making her reminisce about the times when they did the exact same all those years ago.
The nostalgia she felt almost felt overwhelming, but still, despite all of it, her mind still kept on going towards Gideon and whatever it was he was up to. Where was he, she wondered. Perhaps he was already on his way back?
“Freya?”
“Y-Yes?”
“You were spacing out,” Gilas pointed out.
“O-Oh!” she blushed out in embarrassment. “I’m sorry. As you were saying?”
“Forget it,” he subtly smiled. “I just remembered that I have some prior arrangements I have to go through right now.”
She frowned, “Well, if you’re sure…”
Giving her a nod, Gilas left her to her lonesome, her mind whirring as the implications of what just happened to her slowly sank in. Even as he left her, she felt nothing but pleasant feelings as reality caught up to her.
It had happened… Somehow, she was completely over Gilas…