The Empress’s Gigolo

The empress reclined on the couch with a glass of wine in one hand and watched Ren Baqian busily moving in and out. That baby Ting Ling, which Ren Baqian had just bought, was at her side, clutching the wine bottle with both paws and resting the bottle on its head. With its eyes continuously rolling around, it looked pitiful.

Ren Baqian not only brought in ladles, pots, and pans from the imperial kitchen, but also mutton, beef, two fish, and some fruits.

The empress didn’t like to eat fish since she couldn’t handle the bones and also because she preferred big chunks of meat.

However, Ren Baqian liked to eat fish and would eat braised fish every three to five days. The imperial kitchen prepared it rather well.

( AllNovel )  According to Ren Baqian, the chef deserved a rating of five stars.

After all, the chefs in the imperial kitchen were quite talented, skilled, and knew how to control the fire when cooking. After getting some pointers from Ren Baqian, they improved even faster.

Ren Baqian put a cutting board on a stool, placed a piece of beef on the board, and cut it into thin slices. He turned to the empress and asked, “Your Majesty, do you know how to make meat filling?”

“Me?” The empress pointed at herself. She felt that it was ridiculous to expect her to make meat filling.

“Your exquisite hands shouldn’t touch oily stuff, but it’s fun to do it occasionally. We will have dumplings tonight!” Ren Baqian declared as he wiped his hands with a cloth.

“Does the empress prefer to mince the meat or knead the dumplings?”

The empress didn’t like either of these chores, but seeing his high spirits, she didn’t want to dampen them. She walked slowly across and took the knife from Ren Baqian. Soon, the hall was filled with the sounds of a knife chopping continuously on the board without almost any pause.

Ren Baqian looked on with admiration and said, “Your Majesty’s chopping method not only keeps out the water, but even the light can’t shine through.”

30 seconds later, the empress handed the knife back to Ren Baqian, and the cutting board was full of minced meat.

Ren Baqian studied the cutting board and couldn’t help saying, “The cutting board seems to be one-inch thinner.”

“It’s only a cutting board!” the empress objected.

“In other words, Your Majesty has mixed the sawdust generated from the top layer of the cutting board with the beef.” Ren Baqian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Under these circumstances, we don’t need to add vegetables.”

The empress paused, looked around, closed her eyes, and reclined on the couch as if she hadn’t heard anything.

Ren Baqian looked at the empress who was pretending to be dead. It was better for him to do it himself as the empress wasn’t really suited to do normal household chores.

He got the cutting board replaced, minced some more meat, and asked the empress when it was time to wrap the dumplings, “Your Majesty, do you want to try your hand at wrapping the dumplings?”

“I don’t want to try—just use pure meat for the filling!” The empress took the wine bottle from the Ting Ling to pour herself a cup of wine and then put the wine bottle back on its head. Ting Ling stood there frozen and looked even more aggrieved.

How could he be treated as a wine rack?

“Are you sure it can be eaten that way?” Ren Baqian looked at her sideways.

“I mean what I say!” The empress glared at him.

Ren Baqian spent four hours wrapping dumplings, and his whole body was covered with white flour. The empress reclined on the couch, patiently watched him bustling about and curled her lips from time to time.

The empress liked to see this kind of scene.

After a long time, Ren Baqian brought out more than ten plates of dumplings.

“Why does it look different?” the empress asked. The different fillings inside the dumplings made the color of the dumpling wrappers look different.

“This has the pure meat that you want, and there aren’t any vegetables at all.” Ren Baqian pushed half of the dumplings to her.

Ren Baqian had six or seven plates in front of him.

They sat across from each other and set Ting Ling free, but it didn’t dare to run away. It stood like a human and looked at Ren Baqian expectantly, hoping that he would save it from its misery.

After adding two spoonfuls of sorghum wine, the taste of the bland dumplings was blended with the wine.

“In Dayao, do you greet each other by saying ‘Happy New Year?’” Ren Baqian asked.

“We do not.”

“Happy New Year then!” Ren Baqian smiled.

The empress gave him a sidelong glance and thought about saying “Happy New Year,” but didn’t do so.

She lowered her head and ate three dumplings before starting to frown. The dumplings weren’t bad and the meat also wasn’t bad, but the pure meat dumplings were only so-so… they were too boring.

She pushed half of her plates across and said, “Swap for yours.”

Ren Baqian laughed sneakily.

It was because he had suffered this before.

“What’s inside? Pineapple?” As the empress ate Ren Baqian’s dumplings, her eyes brightened.

“Well, these have pineapple, green Mongolian grass, and stonefish!” Ren Baqian was proud of his own innovative ability.

“These have passion fruit and barbed turtle meat…”

Ren Baqian pointed at the various plates and eagerly explained to the empress. With his skill and innovativeness, he felt that he could easily enter some competitions and win some accolades. By combining the sweet fragrance of fruits with the savory taste of fish and turtle meat, he had created exotic dishes.

Although the flavor was a bit strange, one would get used to it after eating it once.

The empress tasted every type of dumpling, silently took back her plates, and returned Ren Baqian’s plates to him.

Fortunately, there were fruits at the side, so she barely managed to eat the dumplings by eating fruit in between eating the dumplings.

After a tortuous dumpling meal, Ren Baqian dragged the empress out to fly the Kongming lanterns. ¹

666 Kongming lanterns, each about half the height of a human, were placed all over the courtyard.

“Can this fly up to the sky?” the empress asked doubtfully. The frames were made of bamboo strips and covered with a layer of white cloth. There was also a small oil lamp inside.

“Of course. Does the empress have any wishes? Write it on the surface, and it will be taken to a place near Heaven where your wishes may be fulfilled.” Ren Baqian took out a stack of cloth strips and a pen.

“I can achieve what I want to do. It’s useless to write down what I cannot do. You might as well send Li Fu up to the sky to stop him from brooding about it every day.”

“Even writing the phrase ‘May the country be prosperous and the people at peace’ will be good! Anyway, it gives you hope.” Ren Baqian laughed.

The empress proceeded to write the phrase “May the country be prosperous and the people at peace” on a cloth strip before tying to the bottom of a Kongming lantern.

Ren Baqian wrote the words: “A bumper harvest.”

The empress then added, “Good weather for the crops.”

Ren Baqian: “National fortune and prosperity.”

The empress: “Strong and prosperous country.”

The empress looked at him and finally thought of another phrase, “Always in my heart.”

Ren Baqian took a pen and wrote: “Have a lovely baby soon.”

The empress blushed and sent Ren Baqian tumbling and flying with a kick to his leg.

Ren Baqian took a long time to hobble back and got someone to light the Kongming lanterns in order to send them soaring into the sky.

One by one, the Kongming lanterns rose gradually into the air and appeared like an ascending ladder to the sky as hundreds of them were at different heights. The scene at night was as beautiful as a painting.

The background was the stars of the Milky Way, and it was a study in contrast.

“Won’t they drop down?” This thought suddenly occurred to the empress. She was worried that they would cause a fire if they were to drop down.

“Your Majesty, even if they were to fall in midair, the oil would be dispersed by the wind. Therefore, nothing will happen.

The empress was relieved to hear this and looked up to enjoy the scenery.

As the night wind blew, the Kongming lanterns, starting from the top, began to drift south of the city.

The lights in the night sky were seen by numerous people, causing many places began to liven up as many people came out of their rooms to watch the night sky after hearing about it.

Like the fireworks display from before, this beautiful scene was also breathtaking.

“It’s coming from the palace. Yagui must be the one responsible for this.” Tong Lan stood and pouted in the courtyard, but conceded and said, “It’s very beautiful. I wonder how it’s done? I will seek him out and learn from him.”

“The mind is really ingenious!” Tong Zhenye said.

Looking at the night sky from their windows, many young ladies in House Yunyan were filled with envy and imagined the freedom they would have if they were the lanterns in the sky.

…

At an inn somewhere.

“Zhuo Hua, come out and see.” A teenager kicked open the door of Zhao Hua’s room.

“Xiong Baobao, don’t you know how to knock on a door?” Zhuo Hua scolded.

“Don’t be so pretentious!” the teenager said scornfully. He dragged Zhuo Hua into the courtyard by her hand and pointed at the sky, “Look!”

“How beautiful!” When Zhuo Hua saw the scene in the sky, her eyes sparkled.

“According to the rumors, the fireworks display on Her Majesty’s birthday was even more beautiful, and it’s a pity that I didn’t get to see it,” the teenager said somewhat regretfully.

On Jing Street, Li Fu reclined on a roof and looked at the night sky. He left his wine cup on the roof and disappeared in a flash. He then reappeared in midair, caught the lowest lantern, and dropped to the ground with it. After seeing how it was constructed, he became contemplative.

In the Qin Residence, Qin Chuan bellowed, “Fetch my bow! I would like to see what these are.”

“Father, they are coming from the palace.” A young man with features similar to Qin Chuan pointed this out.

Qin Chuan looked at the Kongming lanterns, felt very curious, and was dying to find out. At most, he reckoned that the empress would kick him, so he boldly said, “There isn’t any harm. Just give me my bow.”

Soon after, Qin Chuan launched an arrow. The light of one lantern was extinguished, causing it to fall to the ground.

“Sir, I have picked it up, and there are words written on it.” Soon, two guards came rushing back with a Kongming lantern in their arms.

“What’s written on it?”

“The two of us are illiterate!” the two guards said sheepishly.

“Useless things.” Qin Chuan took the cloth strip and saw the words: “Have a lovely baby soon.”

He immediately perked up.

It was better not to think about the words written on this thing that flew out from the palace.

“Father, what is written on it?” The young man came over to take a look. He was unresponsive for a long time, then said, “I don’t know anything.”

Qin Chuan immediately scolded, “Nonsense, I just found out now.”

He decided that it was better not to let others know. Otherwise, the empress would be embarrassed and angry.

The next day at the Shi Residence, Shi Qing was shocked and asked, “What? Have a lovely baby soon? The empress and that little ra… Sir Qin, is this real?”

“Why would I lie to you?” Qin Chuan looked at him with disgust.

Why is he suspecting me?

When have I ever lied to anyone?

When Qin Chuan came out of Shi Qing’s house humming a little tune, he suddenly realized something and slapped his own face. He clearly intended not to tell anyone else, but he couldn’t control himself!