Book 3: Chapter 97: Contradictions
Book 3: Chapter 97: Contradictions
The man knelt on the ground, panting violently. Stepped on his throat by Gu Panpan, he was then nailed to the wall. He coughed, his voice was hoarse, but he still said with difficulty: “Kill me… Hurry up… don’t you hate me? If you hate me then kill me!”
Gu Panpan sneered, “Don’t worry, I will torture you to death, but I won’t let you go so easily. I want you to taste all the pain in this world. You will wish you were dead, then you would have paid back for the things you did to me.”
The man grinned: “You are still so indecisive…so easily deceived and bullied… Do you know why I found you in the first place? Because you seem easy to fool. I regret it now, why didn’t I sleep with you first? Have a little taste, this way I would be willing to die like this…”
Gu Panpan hatefully punched the man on the head with all her strength. She couldn’t wait to beat this man into meat paste. She only hated herself for having such bad eyesight, she couldn’t even distinguish between a person and a dog. How could she like this scum?
The man closed his eyes, there was even a hint of satisfaction that appeared at the corners of his mouth, but at this moment, Gu Panpan sneered and closed her fist: “Trying to irritate me? It’s useless, I won’t let you die so easily. Give it up.” After speaking, she carried the man and threw him into the cage of a mutant beast. This cage was borrowed from Qin Zixi.
After throwing him in, Gu Panpan slowly walked out. In her life, she was only weak this one time and she was used by others unexpectedly. It had almost caused harm to the people she cared about.
She regretted it. She was so regretful that her bowels were about to tear open, but when she just looked at his face, she actually couldn’t kill him.
When did she become so weak?
Gu Panpan used torturing him and not letting him die easily as a reason. But in fact, she knew in her heart that she just couldn’t do it.
“Kill me! If you have the ability, kill me! Gu Panpan, you are a coward! You deserve to be cheated! I will never regret lying to you in my life! I only regret not having tasted you at the time! You should have been looking forward to it too! Come on, after all, a woman like you, how can a man dare to want you!”
Gu Panpan puffed up her chest and walked forward slowly. A thin line of blood slowly flowed down the corner of her mouth. That fist exhausted all her strength, how could it be retracted so easily.
The rebound of that force hurt her internal organs, so she was actually injured now.
After Gu Panpan left, the man knelt down on the ground. He covered his face and cried bitterly.
That night, Gu Panpan did not go back to her room. She went to find Shao Qing. The two sat opposite each other and drank all night.
The alcohol content was very low because it was made from fruits and was sweet. The reason why they were drinking this kind of wine was because there was still work to be done the next day. If they got too drunk, it would affect tomorrow’s affairs.
But Gu Panpan was still drunk. There was a saying that some people were not intoxicated by alcohol. She was like that. The drunk Gu Panpan laid in Shao Qing’s arms and cried hard, crying like a child. She pulled on Shao Qing’s sleeve, sobbing and shouting: “Qing Jie, Qing Jie, Jie, what should I do…I really want to kill him, but why can’t I do it? Obviously he deceived me so badly… Why can’t I do it…”
Shao Qing touched her head: “Because you still have affection for him, this is normal. After all, it is your first love and you are still young. Well, take your time, one day you will forget, and then you will meet another person who is more suitable for you…”
Gu Panpan’s eyes were red: “I can’t forget, I can’t forget…Why didn’t God open my eyes? Why did he let me fall in love with this kind of scum…I hate him…I hate him and myself…”
“If one day you don’t hate him anymore, even when you see him, you don’t even have any fluctuations in your heart, then you will have really forgotten him.” Shao Qing said: “Life is like this. Before you get to the right person, you may encounter a lot of scum, but there are many more unsuitable ones. Just like me, wasn’t I the same? It was only after that I met Qiyue and the others. Panpan, you don’t need to worry about him. You see, just like now, his life is held in the palm of your hand. If you want to squash it, squash it. If you want to pinch it, pinch it. It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to kill it. You can keep it as a pet. Then, when you’re unhappy, torture it. When you’re happy, reward him with a bite. When you get tired of it, kill it.”
Shao Qing’s smile at the corner of her lips was cold, she didn’t care about what kind of life the man will lead in the future, she only cared whether Gu Panpan was happy or unhappy.
Gu Panpan sniffed: “Well… if one day, when I see him and I don’t feel sad because of the past, I will kill him. I will throw him out to feed the dog.”
Shao Qing touched her head: “This is the end of the world. You don’t have to be forbearing like before, you can live a little bit more freely, you know?”
Gu Panpan nodded: “Qing Jie, I figured it out now. It’s not like my life is over if I don’t love. The most important thing is you guys. A guy like him is just a plaything. Playing with him is fine, why should I feel sorry for him. ”
Shao Qing stuffed a petal into her mouth. The tender petals melted in her mouth, it was the best medicine. She had picked them from her healing plants. “You have wounds on your body so recover tonight. You are still my little god of war.”
Gu Panpan smiled. She clenched her fists: “Jie, don’t worry, I will recover tonight. I will not be decadent anymore, I will be your god of war! I will charge out for you. Without a man, I still have you, a brother, and Jiangcheng. I have many things to protect. Who says that women can’t do without love?”
Shao Qing was not ready to persuade her to do anything else, so she patted her head, then said: “Go, sleep well, recharge your energy, I need you tomorrow.”
Gu Panpan nodded, then ran away. When she went back to the room, the man leaned on the cage, looking like he was dying. Gu Panpan pinched his chin and abruptly stuffed him with medicine.
He can’t die. If he dies, where will her resentment go?
He should live and endure her anger until she is indifferent.
After Gu Panpan left, Shao Qing poured another glass of wine. Yan Qiyue walked over from behind and hugged Shao Qing: “Ah Qing, you’ve corrupted Panpan.”
“It was you who corrupted me first.” Shao Qing rolled her eyes, thinking about how she was such an honest girl back then, she could even be called Shao Yuzhi*. Yet, Yan Qiyue turned her into a sadist.
* frank, straightforward
As a result, her hands get itchy when she sees a whip or something of the sort.
Speaking of this, Yan Qiyue sighed: “The people outside are really annoying, I can’t even get close to you anymore. Ah Qing, what should I do, I can’t help it.”
Shao Qing pointed at the wall in the distance: “It’s fine to do a bit.”
Yan Qiyue smiled bitterly: “Ah Qing, you are getting more and more fierce…would you give me a polish with your hand?”
Shao Qing sneered “I’ll pinch it for you, do you believe me?”
“Let me hug you.” Yan Qiyue was honest and laid on Shao Qing’s shoulder. After a long time: “Ah Qing, go and see Er Dai. Something has been wrong these past two days.”
Shao Qing nodded. There was indeed something wrong with Er Dai these two days. Whether it was day or night, he was abnormally silent. As long as he was given a place to sit, he could even sit all day without changing positions.
This abnormal performance made Shao Qing feel that something was wrong, but because of the siege of the city outside, she was so busy that she left the matter behind. Now when Yan Qiyue mentioned it, she remembered: “I will go and see him. You should go to bed early, have you stayed up again these past few days? I see your dark circles.”
Yan Qiyue replied sadly: “Ah Qing, it’s not what you think. I have insomnia at night. You tell me how many nights you haven’t slept with me.”
Shao Qing rolled her eyes and then left.
After Shao Qing left, Yan Hanqing walked down. The two men stood side by side. Although one was thin and the other strong, both seemed to be two iron towers that reached the sky, firmly guarding Shao Qing.
“You are very generous.” Yan Hanqing said lightly.
Yan Qiyue picked up Shao Qing’s cup and took a sip of the fruit wine, “It’s probably fate. When I first met Ah Qing, I knew that I couldn’t hold her. Just being with her makes me happy. As for the two of you…in short, I just hope she is happy.”
“Yeah.” Yan Hanqing responded. Although he and Shao Qing knew each other early on, he was a latecomer in love. So he was satisfied with the present situation.
At least Shao Qing was with him, even if they aren’t a married couple.
Shao Qing went upstairs slowly and went to Er Dai’s room. It should be Fu Jingshen at night. Shao Qing sighed and opened the door. During this time, she did neglect Er Dai, so when she entered, there was still some guilty conscience.
Fu Jingshen was lying on the bed with his eyes closed, but he did not fall asleep. When Shao Qing came in, although the sound of opening the door was very quiet, he still heard it. He quickly opened his eyes and looked at Shao Qing.
Shao Qing touched his head: “Can’t sleep?”
After doing this, Shao Qing regretted it a little bit. She was used to treating Er Dai this way, but she forgot that the person in front of her was not Er Dai. He was Fu Jingshen. Although he and Er Dai were in the same body, they were not the same person.
At that time, Shao Qing wanted to stretch her hand back, then she was grabbed by Fu Jingshen’s wrist. Shao Qing was a little embarrassed, and said softly: “Excuse me…”
Fu Jingshen’s face was expressionless, then he said: “No need to be sorry, can you stay with me for a while?”
Shao Qing wanted to refuse, but the longing in Fu Jingshen’s eyes was too deep. He also had Er Dai’s face, so Shao Qing couldn’t refuse, so she said softly: “Okay…”
Fu Jingshen sat up, then slowly leaned against Shao Qing. Shao Qing stiffened a bit, but didn’t refuse.
As the days went on and his strength improved, the memories of Fu Jingshen and Er Dai slowly merged. Er Dai was not an independent soul, he was Fu Jingshen, but the incomplete Fu Jingshen.
Er Dai was not as deep as Fu Jingshen and did not have his wisdom, he was a pure white piece of paper. He only had his instinct, a human soul suppressed by the instincts of a zombie.
As his strength improved and he slowly awakened, Fu Jingshen reappeared. Fu Jingshen did not split from Er Dai. He could only stay awake for a while because of his lack of strength. As he gradually merges, Er Dai and Fu Jingshen will eventually become one person.
During this period of time, when Fu Jingshen merged with Er Dai, he saw Er Dai’s memory more clearly. Everything that Er Dai did was as if he had experienced it personally.
His memory was slowly being merged by Er Dai, but Er Dai seemed more and more silent because of his mentality and other issues so he couldn’t react at all. These days and nights, no matter if it was Fu Jingshen or Er Dai, they were both very mellow.
During the day and night, they both had their eyes open. Everything seemed to be like a slideshow flowing before their eyes.
The emotions were getting deeper and more solid, and harder to let go. In the end, they were deep and inseparable.
But Fu Jingshen was desperate, because Shao Qing never treated him like Er Dai from beginning to end and there was nothing he could do.