The Great Worm Lich

The middle-aged man was stunned for quite a long time as he watched the SUV drove out of the lot slowly. He shouted while chasing after it aggressively all of a sudden, “Wait, wait, young man, you haven’t told my employee number to the sales manager. You don’t have to spend a single cent… you don’t have to spend a cent on my commission. As long as you tell them my employee number… Tell… Tell them my… Oh… Oh my god, I’m such an idiot. I’m such a f*cking idiot, I don’t even have money to buy a turkey for Christmas Eve and I let 4,000 dollars flew away just like that…”

As the middle-aged man was groaning and panting at the side of the road, Zhang Lisheng who took the wrong turn was driving his Explorer on New York’s bustling Dolby Avenue carefully. As he took a big round driving at 30 miles per hour, he spent exactly an hour to finally get home.

A few minutes later, Lili who was wondering what kind of car her independent son would buy had her jaw dropped when she saw the Explorer, “You… You bought a brand new 7-seater SUV! Didn’t you say that you’re only left with 5,000 dollars in your account? Don’t tell me this car only costs a few thousand dollars?”

“Mom, this isn’t new. It’s a secondhand car of two and a half years, of course, I can’t get such a car with a few thousand dollars. Christmas is coming so my slaughterhouse’s making money. I have over 30,000 dollars of idle funds with me so…”

“You’re saying that you made over 30,000 dollars in less than a month at the slaughterhouse that you bought with 100,000 dollars?”

“Yes, I changed the business model and improved production efficiency. Kaiserland Town’s National Farmers Union’s asking me to be their chairman now,” Zhang Lisheng blabbered. In reality, without his wizard worm eating those animals’ organs and blood, the money spent on handling those ecological waste alone would take more than 80% of his profit.

Lili was stunned with her mouth opened for a moment, “Wow, what you’ve done made me… made me speechless. I’m proud of you baby but this car’s too big, it’s hard to park it in our garage…”

“Don’t worry mom, I’ve rented a specific parking spot at the parking lot at the back street. You know, it only takes five minutes walk to get there, it’s almost as convenient as parking it at home.”

“Oh, I’ve gotten used to you handling everything for yourself baby. Go park your car at the parking lot then. Although I know you’ll definitely not do such stupid thing, but I must remind you to not show-off your car to Randy. He would go crazy from jealousy,” Lili sighed and said to her son who looked more and more unfamiliar to her. She had no idea that his independence was Zhang Lisheng’s real character trained from living in Guawo Village for more than ten years. The sweet son that she saw last time was the false image that Zhang Lisheng showed from the tremendous change in his life when he first met his mother.

Zhang Lisheng nodded while smiling and went into the Explorer as he turned around. He then started the engine and drove to the parking lot. ‘Beep beep…’, his phone connected to his car via bluetooth began ringing all of a sudden. Zhang Lisheng picked up the call, George’s annoying voice echoed in the car, “Buddy, I’ve just finished work. How’s your car shopping going?”

“I’ve bought a car.”

“Wow, that’s fast. You’re so slick. Which one did you get?” George asked excitedly.

“Ford Explorer.”

“Oh. You know what Lisheng, your biggest character’s that you’ll never surprise anyone. Only old people would drive a Ford, drink Blue Ribbon, watch basketball games and getting Christmas present from a big sock. We’re young, don’t you think we should have a more unique taste? Nevermind, having a car’s better than nothing. Come pick me up at Dan Souza Butcher Shop, I booked us a date.”

“George, what do you mean you booked us a date?”

“I asked two girls out. One for you, one for me. Don’t thank me, buddy. As an introverted young man’s only friend, this is what I should do.”

“George, my plan today’s to buy a car, have lunch with my mom, shop at a pet store in New York City for a pet and go to Kaiserland Town to look at my slaughterhouse…”

“Listen, friend, I know you’re a mysterious and unique high-schooler but no matter how mysterious or unique you are, you’re a poor guy that people look down on if you’re alone at the prom. By then, even if your mom’s the school principal, people would still bully and tease you. That’s the tradition of all American schools. Do you plan to depend on your family in everything you do or are you planning to … you know…’settle’ those schoolmates who tease you, with your own way?”

It was bad for a person with a secret to live without socializing. Zhang Lisheng fell into silence for a moment and said feeling irritated, “I didn’t have so much trouble when I was studying in China.”

“But you’re in America now. Come, both of them are hot babes. If Lowbige isn’t a school combining junior high and senior high, there won’t be any babes who are dreaming of dating their seniors, agreeing to date us. Remember to bring your ‘new car’, I’ve already told them that you have a car and we’re going to take a ride and have fun today…”

“George, if you’re thinking of taking a ride in -7 degree celsius, why don’t you just bring them to Dan Souza’s cold storage… But okay, I’ll be there,” Zhang Lisheng hung up the phone and called Lili, he told her about going for a date.

“That’s great, baby. Every high school boy would go to the prom with a girl, of course, mom hopes that you would do the same. Seems like you’ve gotten yourself a caring friend. Have fun dating, but please don’t drink any alcohol.”

“I know that mom,” Zhang Lisheng sat on the driver’s seat and spoke loudly to the call connected to his car. He turned his car around slowly and drove to Dan Souza Butcher Shop on the street with little traffic. Outside the store, George stood by the street in the chilly wind wearing an old fashioned beanie. He was looking at the cars passing by without blinking.

Zhang Lisheng pulled over at the parking spot next to him and winded down the window. George seemed like he did not notice the sturdy 7-seater SUV and the skinny friend that he was familiar with, on the driver’s seat. He was still looking around until Zhang Lisheng shouted at him, “George, what are you looking at? Get in quick,” George had just noticed that Zhang Lisheng was in the big car parked close to him.

He was stunned for a moment, he checked out the Explorer in surprise before getting into the car. Sitting on the passenger’s seat that was as comfortable as airline seat and touching the luxurious control panel with a big screen before him, he exclaimed, “Oh! Oh my god, Lisheng, so this is the secondhand Ford that you bought!”

“Yes, is it different from what you imagined? I remembered telling you that I’m planning to get a bigger car, didn’t I?”

“Bigger car, sh*t, usually a 16-year-old high schooler meant getting a secondhand Ford Fiesta that’s bigger than Volkswagen Beetle when they say they want a bigger car, not a 7-seater SUV that’s even bigger than a bus! If I knew you would drive this, why would I talk so much to Lina and Hannah. I could’ve… Nevermind Lisheng, your ‘weapon’ has exceeded my expectation. Perhaps we might have some reward today. Let’s go! The destination’s Lowbige Junior High. The two babes who we’re dating are finishing their holiday club activity and getting ready into our embrace…”

As George was shouting in excitement, Zhang Lisheng stepped on the accelerator and drove to Lowbige Junior High. At the moment, he regretted a little. He should not have been persuaded by George so easily that he was going to date a lady that he had never met and wasted his precious Saturday. However, since it had developed to this point, it was impossible for him to chase George out of the car now. All that he could do was to learn the lesson and to not make the same mistake. He would have to go along with the date now.

In the never-ending declaration George had for the Explorer, Zhang Lisheng arrived outside of Lowbige Junior High. He parked by the street, George said to him hastily, “Wait for me here, I’ll go get the ladies,” He opened the door and hopped off, he then ran into the open-style school compound. Zhang Lisheng who was waiting alone in the car frowned as he thought to himself feeling bored. He turned on the computer on the car’s control panel that was not merely a decoration and began browsing for popular pet stores in New York City. He was browsing what kind of insect pets they were selling.

Chameleons, lizards, geckoes, snakes, spiders, toads… Realizing there was nothing that he was satisfied with after browsing for a while, he began looking for pet customization on the internet. He found a store that called themselves the Biggest Pet Store in New York, online and stated that they provided pet customization service. He then found the phone number on a website that had the nicest design and began calling.

“Hello, this is Golden Crown Pet House. May I know what can I help you with?”

“Hi, I need a pet customization service. May I know if you guys have any poisonous snakes, insects or fierce reptiles?”

Hearing Zhang Lisheng’s request, the polite lady voice became extremely rude as she responded coldly, “Of course, but I think it’s better that you call the zoo or mental hospital,” She hung up the phone.