The Law of Averages

Chapter 33

“You know, this explains a lot,” Abby mused.

Dan had just given her a brief summary of his world. The two were still on her couch, lounging comfortably. The air between them was casual and friendly.

“Yeah?” Dan asked with a questioning grin.

“Yeah. Like why you are so crap at history, for starters.”

“I read a history book!” Dan protested loudly, his hands crossed defensively on his chest. He faltered slightly at Abby’s dubious look.

“I skimmed a history book,” he amended awkwardly. “Just enough to not draw suspicion.”

Abby rolled her eyes, turning the motion into a sideways flop. From her prone position on the couch, she said, “You draw plenty of suspicion Danny. I knew something about you was weird, I just didn’t care.”

She rolled onto her back and peered up at him, arms crossed behind her head. “Don’t worry though, nobody will guess your story. The truth is stranger than fiction in this case. Only a crazy person would guess parallel dimension.”

Dan breathed a sigh of relief. He slumped into the couch as Abby slung her legs across his lap.

“Yeah,” Abby added mischievously, “most people will just assume you’re some sort of wandering vagrant. You’ve got the look down pat.”

“Oi!”

She wiggled deeper in to the couch and batted her eyebrows prettily. “Don’t worry Danny, I know the truth.”

She smiled then, a silly little smile, murmuring again, “I know the truth.”

They fell asleep like that, together on the living room couch. Both exhausted emotionally, they napped the rest of the morning away.

Noon arrived, and with it, a reinvigorated Abby.

“Okay!” she announced, slamming a notebook down on her kitchen table. “It’s time to plan!”

Dan looked heavenward for assistance. With none forthcoming, he scanned the kitchen for a distraction. As with everything Abby owned, the kitchen was a mix of immensely practical and wildly extravagant. She had all the essentials one might expect, an oven, a fridge, a stove, but it was the little additions that really gave the room its charm.

Her coffee machine, for example, was basically a transformer. With a dozen different settings and an automated part-swap function, the device was a tiny mobile Starbucks. Abby loved her coffee. Maybe if he—

“Eyes front, mister!” Abby said sternly, jabbing a finger into Dan’s chest. “Mr. Coffee can’t save you!

“You need some structure in your life and, as your personal trainer and closest friend, it’s my job to provide you with proper goals to work towards.” Abby’s voice radiated pride and her posture was filled with stubborn determination. She loomed over Dan, tall and haughty and perfect. Dan could tell that there would be no escape from this bossy lady.

Well then, that decided it. He needed a plan anyway, might as well have Abby help him along.

Sensing Dan’s acceptance, or perhaps determining it as irrelevant, Abby continued. “To start with: What is it that you want?”

Dan blinked at the question. “That’s a little more philosophical than I’m prepared for, Abbs.”

“It’s important,” Abby insisted pompously. She tapped her finger on the empty notebook in front of her. “If you don’t know what you want, you can’t know what you need!”

“Poetic.”

Abby pouted, her demeanour shifting in an instant. “Dannnnn tell me!”

“I can’t just… blab out all my hopes and dreams,” Dan laughed in protest. “That’s way too embarassing!”

“Gah! Don’t tease me like this!” Abby wailed dramatically, leaning across the table to cling to Dan’s collar.

Dan scoffed at her act. Who’s teasing you, silly woman? Don’t you know that some things are hard for a man to say out loud!?

Like that thought there, just now.

But Abby did not relent, making puppy eyes and bashful smiles and using every ounce of her womanly wiles to pry the truth out of him.

“Fine!” Dan shouted at long last, helpless beneath Abby’s watery eyes.

Her cute look vanished immediately. She leaned back in her chair, sitting cross-legged with her pen hovering over her notepad in anticipation.

Dan’s eye twitched, but he had already committed.

“Back on my Earth I was…” Dan began slowly, hesitantly, searching for the right words.

“Meek.”

Abby’s eyebrows furrowed. Confusion was written on her face. She didn’t speak, but Dan could practically hear her asking, “That’s it!?”

Dan shrugged helplessly.

“I was a floater in the stream of life,” he explained. “I went with the current, never really making any decisions for myself.”

“Lots of people are like that,” Abby pointed out. Her voice, though, was thoughtful. Dan briefly recalled the source of her family’s estrangement, her refusal to follow the path they had outlined for her.

He often found himself reflecting on how much he admired the young woman in front of him.

But he was getting distracted.

“Sure, lots of people are like that. But…” Dan paused in thought. He stood up, his wooden chair scraping against stone tile as he pushed it away. Dan paced the kitchen, searching for words.

“The problem,” he began, still pacing, “was that I believed I was more than I was. As a kid, I wanted to be a superhero. I dreamed of beating up bad guys and teaming up with other awesome people like myself. Standard kid stuff, y’know?”

“Not so standard, here,” Abby muttered a correction.

Dan rolled his eyes. “Standard kid stuff, barring dimensional shenanigans. Just… I wanted to be special, yeah? Like any little brat.”

“D’aww, you are special, Danny,” Abby cooed. Despite the phrasing, there was not a drop of sarcasm in her tone.

Dan waved off the compliment with flushed cheeks.

“That feeling never really went away,” he continued blandly. Best to get this part out of the way in a hurry. “I used to imagine myself as this— this great hero, confined by chance and circumstance. I would imagine up these elaborate scenarios and say to myself this is when I would shine, too bad it’ll never happen!

Dan shook his head in embarassment. “I doubt it’s all that unusual, but damn if I didn’t genuinely believe by own bullshit.”

He turned to face his friend, only small hints of embarassment showing on his face. “You asked me what I want? I want to prove myself right.”

“You want to be a superhero?” Abby asked in genuine confusion.

“Not— No.” Dan denied with a swipe of his hand. “I want to become the kind of person that I used to pretend I already was. A good man, strong and steadfast, who can actually make a difference in the world.”

After a moment, he added, “Though learning to defend myself is pretty high on my list too. Frankly, your Earth scares the shit out of me.”

Abby leaned back in her chair, giving him a considering look. After a long moment, she suddenly grinned. Shooting out of her seat, she declared, “You’re still a young man, Danny! Now is the perfect time for self-improvement! All your dreams are within your grasp!”

She rubbed her hands together in excitement, then thumped her fist against her sternum, announcing heroically, “And I, Abigail Summers, will help you achieve them!

Dan tried very hard not to laugh as she posed in place.

Abby dropped back into her seat after several seconds, still radiating excitement. She snatched up her pen and began scribbling in her notebook.

“First, you’ll continue your physical training with me. I’ll create a new schedule and throw in self-defense lessons too, because I am a magnanimous lady.”

Dan smiled at her energetic promises. “You know how to fight, Abbs?”

“Hmph! As if Mama Ana would’ve let me leave home if I wasn’t qualified to defend myself!” Abby lifted her arm and flexed. Toned muscle emerged from dainty arms, bulging outward.

Dan’s masculinity took a severe blow as he realized that Abby was almost certainly stronger than he was.

He winced at the feeling. He threw up his arms in a shield and declared, “Gah! My male pride! Put the guns away, woman! Leave me with some dignity at least.”

Abby smirked, bobbing her eyebrows up and down suggestively before returning to her notebook.

“Next!” She drew a sharp line across the page. Fwip. “Power training!”

Dan raised a bemused eyebrow, knowing better than to interrupt.

“Upgrades are static, but you don’t have an upgrade do you, Mister Special Snowflake? Naturally acquired powers can grow!” She paused, then amended, “For a given value of natural.”

“Marcus mentioned something like that,” Dan sighed. He really didn’t want to experiment with his power anymore. The burning enthusiasm he had felt after his arrival had faded once he learned how the power actually functioned. It was a bit like watching chicken nuggets being made. His appetite had been spoiled; he wanted nothing to do with that horrifying Other Place.

Abby interpreted his silence as the disagreement that it was.

“Don’t worry!” she ordered cheerfully. “If you’re worried about monsters, just bring a weapon with you. Bam! Problem solved!”

She nodded to herself, eminently satisfied with her analytical skills. Something seemed to occur to her, a lightbulb all but popping into existence over her head. She bounced out of her seat and dug around in a nearby cabinet.

“Here,” she said proudly, producing a large cast-iron skillet. She twirled it in her hand then passed it over to Daniel. “If the monsters show up you can whack ’em on the nose with that.”

Speechless, Dan accepted the cooking implement.

“Most predators don’t know how to react to something being aggressive towards them,” Abby lectured smugly. “They’re used to being feared, so when you act confident and unafraid, they assume you’re the bigger fish.”

Dan quietly considered the number of hippo attacks per year, then calculated his chances of survival when equipped with a stalwart attitude and a frying pan. He didn’t need a magic 8 ball for the answer.

The outlook was… not so good.

Abby sensed his reticence. Her voice grave, she said, “You can’t fear your power Dan. It’s a part of you now. You’ll either need to learn more about it, or stop using it entirely, and I doubt you’ll go for the latter.”

“I’m not afraid of it,” Dan muttered rebelliously. “I used it to get here, didn’t I? I use it all the time!”

“That’s my point, Danny,” Abby said gently. “You only use it in the one way you know is safe, but it could be so much more! Think about it. You jumped across the solar system within half an hour of gaining your power! That’s your baseline! That’s insane, Danny. Who knows what else you could do!”

She was excited, and why shouldn’t she be? She could see only potential. There was no horror for her, only Dan’s inadequate descriptions. She hadn’t experienced that place, that Gap Between Worlds, where reality churned and twisted and fragmented. She hadn’t felt physics fall apart, felt the atoms in her body loosen and shake because there were no laws in that Other Place. She hadn’t seen the things lurking in the dark, amorphous beings of teeth and eyes watching his every move.

Let Marcus have that place. Dan wanted nothing to do with it.