Chapter 82 Endings Are Chosen (End)
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"Catherine, you are beautiful. Therefore, you have to be careful, okay?"
I remember that sentence clear and vivid. My mother used to say that to me. It was a very long time ago, where I was merely Catherine, without any last name.
I was born a commoner. My family consisted of me and my parents only. My family wasn't wealthy, nor was poor. We had enough money to support our life, but never could we afford a luxury. But still, we were one happy family.
At least, until that day.
"Catherine... How old are you?"
"I am fourteen, Mother. Have you forgotten my birthday a few weeks ago?"
"No, Catherine. Mother just wants to make sure."
At that time, I had no idea why was my mother crying. I was the one and only child my parents had, and a daughter at that. Therefore, my life was pretty sheltered. My mother kept wiping her tears, while my father was pacing anxiously.
"Mother, Father? What is going on?"
"Nothing, my daughter. Nothing."
The naive young Catherine looked at her mother curiously. She wiped the tears on her mother's face, and patted her mother's back to soothe her. Contrary to her expectation, her mother cried even worse.
"I am sorry. I am sorry, I have to do this. Such a good child, such a good child..."
Her mother went to hug her, and she complied. She heard her mother's whisper, however she disregarded it instantly.
Remembering it now, I really want to punch the younger me right in the face. Sadly, past is in the past. There is no use to wallow in regret.
"Catherine, Baby. Come here, my little girl."
"Yes, Father?"
I was suddenly called by my father, and I complied. My father, who had been pacing back and forth anxiously, looked me in the eyes for a few seconds, before speaking.
"For the 14 years you have been living under our roof, have you ever felt unhappy?"
"No, Father. I am happy to be able to live with you, and Mother."
"I see."
My father bent down, and gave me the warmest hug that I have ever gotten. After some time had past, my father finally let go of me. Looking at me in the eyes once again, my father said, "I want to show you something. Do you want to see it?"
The curious young Catherine was so thrilled that she didn't even ask what was her father wanted to show. She merely nodded her head, and followed her father. The direction they were going to was her bedroom.
"Father, what is exactly you are trying to show me?"
"A life lesson, my little girl. Will you still want to see it?"
If I had been on the younger Catherine's position, I would refuse immediately. However, the young Catherine was stupid and naive.
"Yes, I do still want to know!"
"Do you trust me, my little girl?"
"Yes, I trust you!"
"Very well... Can you undress yourself?"
At this point, my father's eyes went glassy. It was so unlike him that I noticed it immediately. However, my father played it cool. His face was as straight as a paper, and it was enough to trick the young and naive Catherine.
"Now, what do I do, Father?"
"Just follow my lead... And follow... my... instruction."
"Okay, Father."
Thus, my father started to touch every parts of my body. His touch was so tender, and warm, that I was overwhelmed with the sensation that I didn't understand yet at that time.
My body went hot, then my nether part became wet and slippery. I squirmed in my place, then my father stopped licking my breast.
"Are you feeling uncomfortable, my girl?"
"No daddy. My crotch just feels weird."
"I know what to do with that."
My father smiled, and I knew it was a hollow smile. His gaze was dodgy, however the intoxicated young Catherine couldn't notice that. Guilt and excitement, two contradicting emotion, was radiated out of his entire existence.
Still, the young Catherine didn't notice that.
My father did a lot of thing after that, and I remembered all the scene vividly. My first time was taken by my own father. I was defiled by him. However, out of this accursed and disgusting deed, all I got was pleasure and contentment.
I had gladly agreed to the deed, and I was still glad even after the deed. Although my crotch hurt, I could clearly remember the ecstasy I got from it. Dare I say it was the best session that I have ever got in my whole life.
"Catherine, my girl... There are things I have yet to teach you. If you want to learn it, we will have another session of this lesson in the future. Do you want to learn it?"
My father was basically saying, "Will you let me to defile you again?" However, the young and curious Catherine was ecstatic. She wanted to know further about the deed she had done with her father. Therefore, she agreed to do that.
The young Catherine fell asleep due to the tiredness. However, her mind was still faintly aware of the surrounding. She could hear her father faintly sobbing to himself. She could hear the sound of the door opened.
She could hear her mother's words to comfort his father. She could clearly hear her father's words in the middle of his sob.
"I am already cursed to throw away my daughter. At least, I have to make her first to be free of force and pain. I... I am... I am such a bastard of a father."
Surely, the young and naive Catherine didn't know what it meant. She knew her father would never throw her away, therefore she disregarded the conversation as her mere imagination.
The deed continued for three whole months with a few days of intervals between each session. The young and naive Catherine turned into the young and 'skilled' Catherine. Her father taught her many things, and she enjoyed each new things her father taught her.
There were even some occasions where she was the one who initiated the session. At those times, her father would dodge her gaze, and gave her a stifled smile.
Finally, the day where my parents had been anticipating came, and the young Catherine was still oblivious to that.
"Father, Mother, who is this person?"
"Hahahaha, hello young Catherine. My name is Timothy. It's nice to meet you!"
The oblivious Catherine grabbed the stranger's extended hand, and shook it. However, when she tried to pry her hand off, she found she wasn't able to. The stranger gripped her hand tightly, and rubbed it with his thumb.
"Such a beautiful, and smooth skin. What a perfect girl."
She could hear the stranger's muttering, and she shuddered in disgust. Unfortunately, the young Catherine's fate was sealed that day.
"Listen, my girl. You will have a better life from now on. This man will provide you everything, including your 'education'. Therefore, you have to do your best, okay?"
pan,da n<0,>v,el "Okay... Father."
The young and naive Catherine thought the education her father meant was a common thing to do. Therefore, at the first night she was with the merchant, Timothy, she performed everything her father had taught her to her very best.
Sadly, the merchant wasn't satisfied. It turns out, her father's teaching was too tame in Timothy's word.
Timothy did the same thing my father had done to me, however it felt different. At that time, I clearly felt violated. Timothy was furious, and he hit me as he found I was no more the 'pure' girl he was looking for.
Still, he kept violating me each day. It was so unbearable that I wanted to go home.
'I don't want such an education!' The young Catherine thought to herself. However, when she tried to go home, she figured out that she couldn't.
It didn't take long until she figured out that sex is what she had called education. She also figured out that she was sold to the merchant as a sex slave. Apparently, the merchant liked to blackmail any commoners he met, and took their daughters in exchange of some money.
The young Catherine was furious that her parents had the mind to sell her to the disgusting bastard. She couldn't believe what her parents had done to her. Thus, she decided to do everything in her capability to get out of the hellhole.
She started to learn to 'perform' better. She experimented, and figured out the best way to satisfy a man. She learned the way to charm men, and she learned the way to control men with her body. Thus, she became the woman every guy wanted.
Right when she head gotten a full control over the wealthy merchant, Timothy, she betrayed him. She slit his throat in his sleep, and ran away with as much as gold she could bring with her. Her destination was her home.
Although she knew her parents had been given no choice, her vengeance over them remained prevailed. Sadly, when she arrived there, her parents were already gone. Her old house was gone. It was already replaced with a cake store.
It makes sense, since she had gone for five years. However, the young Catherine couldn't bear the rage her parents had caused. She was so full of vengeance that she decided to figure out her parents' whereabouts.
One day, she found out the truth. Right after Timothy had figured out she had lost her virginity, he had commanded some mercenaries to kill her parents.
The young Catherine was devastated. She had intended to kill her parents herself, that upon hearing the news she didn't know how to react.
Her feet wobbled, and she cried in rage and sorrow. Her parents had been a failure as a parent, and her father was the worst father. However, she knew deep down her heart, they didn't do that intentionally.
Her rage quelled, and something inside her bloomed. A brand new wayof thinking, and a brand new mindset. That day, the young Catherine died, and the present Catherine was born.
That was the beginning of my ambition.
With the money I got from Timothy, I went to Woster County. There, I tried to do some business like flower shop, and bakery. However, all of them failed miserably, and the money I had was running thin.
I was so desperate, until one day, I was reminded of what I am good at. Lurking men, and suck them dry.
Thus, I did just that. The more I did that, the more addicted I became. The longer I did that, the bigger the fish I managed to lurk. Then, came the day where I met Nicholas. He was so infatuated with me that I could see it plainly.
Nicholas, who was a mere Baronet at that time, visited my fake flower store everyday. He joked about proposing me, and I told him to be a Baron first, before proposing me. I didn't expect he took that seriously.
One day, he became a Baron, and proposed me properly. I was so touched with his action that I didn't think much, before saying yes. He got excited, and we married in the next day.
Life was happy, untill I realized I haven't had enough. The Life I have is not up to my satisfaction. I need to dream bigger, and climb higher. Thus, my betrayal over the loving and loyal Nicholas started.
I got to seduce Justin, resulting me controlling two men, who are both Nobles. Their money is mine, and I can use it whenever I want. However, I don't feel any sense of accomplishment.
That time, I realized what I yearn. I yearn for control. Watching the men dancing in my palm has always brought me a satisfaction, and I realize it late.
Therefore, I become even more passionate on my ambition, upon realizing it. I have no thought to stop doing it, that I do everything to cover my wrongdoing.
However, no matter how good the squirrel hops, it is bound to fall one day.
Today, my ambition is burned to dust, and my choice brings me to my end. I cry silently as Nicholas and the other vile creatures violate my body. Alas, I can't do anything.
When people say, "Be careful with how you begin things." It must be because our beginning decided our ending.
I have begun things wrong, and today, I learn something too late.
Endings are chosen.
I have chosen the wrong end for myself.