The Monk That Wanted To Renounce Asceticism

The girl smiled embarrassedly. “Sorry about that. Well, I have never seen a real monk before. There were always fake monks selling protection talismans on the street. I can’t be sure after seeing so many of them.”

Fangzheng smiled and thought nothing of it. “Amitabha. Patron, it’s fine. This Penniless Monk shall bid you farewell then.”

The girl looked at Fangzheng’s and Red Boy’s back and chased up to them after some thought. “Venerable Ones, can I ask a question?”

“Patron, go ahead.”

“Both of you aren’t locals, right?”

Fangzheng nodded.

An idea seemed to come to her mind as her eyes darted around. She asked with a faint smile, “You don’t have money for food, right?”

Fangzheng was surprised. Red Boy immediately lowered his head and pretended to count the ants on the road. How embarrassing! Two perfectly able humans, yet they had no money for their meals!

However Fangzheng remained calm. “This Penniless Monk does lack money for food. This Penniless Monk is a monk, so what use is money?”

“Uh… This is the first time I’m meeting someone being so righteous about being poor,” said the girl subconsciously.

Fangzheng was immediately rendered speechless when he heard her.

Could you not be that direct? Could you not be that frank? Couldn’t you mince your words a little? Boohoo!

The girl hurriedly clarified. “Venerable One, sorry about that. I just don’t think before I speak, and always speak nonsense. About that, if you have nowhere to stay and no food to eat, I’ll settle that for you, how about that?”

Fangzheng was stunned as Red Boy said in pleasant surprise, “Really! That’s great!”

Fangzheng raised his hand and rapped Red Boy on the head. It immediately sent him squatting in the corner counting ants while holding the bump on his head.

Fangzheng shook his head. “Amitabha, no pain no gain. Patron, you smashed This Penniless Monk with a flowerpot, but you treated This Penniless Monk to a meal. The debt is settled. If you were to provide board and lodging, This Penniless Monk would not be able to accept it.”

“It’s not for nothing. I need to ask for your help, Venerable One.” The girl hurriedly clarified.

Fangzheng thought about it as Red Boy looked at him with large yearnful eyes. If they could not find the target they needed to help, they could forget about returning. If they returned, the Formless Door would likely go on strike. He had no idea when he could complete his mission. It would be bad if he continued starving and had to sleep on the streets.

Hence Fangzheng nodded. “That will depend on what you would like This Penniless Monk to help with, Female Patron.”

The girl smiled as she extended her milky-white hand. “Let’s formally introduce ourselves. I’m Ding Yu! Venerable One, how might I address you?”

“This Penniless Monk is Fangzheng, and This Penniless Monk’s disciple is Jingxin.” Fangzheng did not shake hands with her. Instead, he bowed with his palms pressed together.

Ding Yu smiled and said openly, “Alright, then do we now have an employer-employee relationship?”

Fangzheng knew Ding Yu was joking as he chuckled in return.

“I have a good friend, something like a bro. He has been courting a girl recently, and he wants my help. Heavens, you have no idea how massive his plan is. The problem is that I can’t handle the plan alone. So…” With that said, Ding Yu cheekily smiled. “Venerable Ones, you have to help me on this one.”

“Uh? Your bro got you to help him court a girl? How… are you to help?” Fangzheng felt intrigued. However there was a problem. Could others involve themselves in such matters?

Ding Yu said, “Just act according to plan. This plan was designed by the two of us over a week. We even designed various ideas into it. We just need additional manpower. The people who help must not be mutual friends between him and his goddess to prevent any possible leaks. But the people we know are basically all from the same circle, so that was a problem. But it’s good now. Master, with your help, these matters can be easily resolved. Alright, to celebrate the establishment of our Goddess Courting Team, I’ll treat the both of you to a sumptuous meal tonight!”

“I want to eat ice-cream!” Red Boy shouted first. Back when Ouyang Fenghua brought him out to eat, the kid had fallen in love with the taste of ice-cream. He had no chance to try any of the many flavors on the mountain, so since there was a chance to eat it away from the mountain, he naturally did not stand on ceremony.

Ding Yu patted herself on the chest. “No problem. Leave it to me!”

“Then, what should we do now?” asked Fangzheng.

“Now? We obviously have to prepare the first step in executing the plans!” said Ding Yu.

“What’s the first step?” asked Red Boy.

“I’ll inform my bro with a phone call. Once all the preparations are done, he can invite his goddess on a date.” Ding Yu smiled happily. A breeze flew across her, sending her long hair flying. Her smile was very pure, making her look like a flower. She was beautiful.

Fangzheng and Red Boy were somewhat speechless. Why was this lass so happy when someone else was trying to get a girlfriend?

Half an hour later, the guy called back, informed that everything was good to go.

Ding Yu immediately ran home. After a while, she came back out with a violin and a huge bag of clothes.

“Uh, Patron. Why are you holding all of that?” Fangzheng knew nothing about being romantic.

“These are props, really essential ones.” Ding Yu, together with Fangzheng and Red Boy, got onto a taxi, and she instructed, “Please bring me to Red Seacoast Restaurant.”

In the car, Ding Yu said, “They will be having Western cuisine and listening to elegant music. How romantic! Unfortunately my bro is a bit tight on funds. He can’t afford a professional violinist, so he can only use an amateur like me.”

“You know how to play the violin?” Fangzheng looked in astonishment at Ding Yu. The lass was like a tomboy, nothing like the kind of person who could sit down quietly to learn music.

Ding Yu rolled her eyes at Fangzheng. “Don’t belittle me. I come from a proper school. I have been learning for… almost half a month.”

“Uh…” Fangzheng expressed his lack of words to describe the situation. Could she even play a tune with just half a month of practice?

Red Boy mumbled, “I heard that the violin sounds very nice if played well. If it isn’t, it’s like a nail scratching on a blackboard.”

He was met with a roll of eyes. Ding Yu said bitterly, “Can’t the both of you give me a little encouragement? Like cheer me on? I didn’t get the two of you to pull me down…”

Fangzheng and Red Boy exchanged looks as they said in unison, “You can do it!”

“That’s better.” Ding Yu smiled. Then she opened her huge bag and flaunted what she had brought with her. “There are props in here. Later on, I’ll be disguised as a man. This tall hat can hide my long hair. Sigh, having my hair grow out sure is troublesome.”

“You don’t fancy long hair?” asked Fangzheng.

Ding Yu said casually, “Nope. It’s troublesome to tend to it. Ever since I grew out my hair, my mom’s favorite saying became, ‘There’s dog fur everywhere!’ What the heck? Is my hair dog fur? Sigh.”

Fangzheng and Red Boy nearly burst out laughing when they heard her. However they stifled their laughter out of respect for their employer!

Ding Yu shot a glance at the two and said, “Alright, go ahead and laugh. It’s not like I haven’t been laughed at before.”

The result…

“Hahaha!” Before Fangzheng and Red Boy could laugh, the taxi driver laughed first. His voice was sonorous.

“You shut up. No one allowed you to laugh!” Ding Yu yelled, which only resulted in everyone in the car to laugh…

When they arrived at the venue, Ding Yu rushed into a costume store. She negotiated with the store employee for quite a while before she was finally allowed to borrow the changing room. Afterwards, it did not take long before a thin man dressed in a suit and leather shoes walked out. Under his tall hat was a face covered with a beard. However the man’s skin… was a little too fair!