Chapter 874: WINNING THE BATTLE
Chapter 874: WINNING THE BATTLE
SILENCE filled the room once again after Shen Yi Mu asked that question. He didn't force the other to answer his question immediately. Instead, he waited. And waited.
He didn't know how much time had passed nor did he care. He was simply observing Jiang Yue. So, he could see the struggle on his face. He clearly didn't want to answer his question. But at the same time, there must be a part of him who wanted to explain himself. Thus, the struggle.
Then, Jiang Yue closed his eyes. The moment he opened them, the fear and confusion in his eyes disappeared. They were replaced by determination and resignation. He took a deep breath before muttering;
"I left... I left because at that time I truly thought that it was the best choice for the both of us."
Shen Yi Mu almost wanted to laugh when he heard that. The best choice for the both of them? That's probably the biggest joke he had heard in his entire life. A little bit of resentment showed on his face without him meaning to.
"The best choice? I was miserable, Ah Yue. If Ji Yun was not there, I might have taken drastic measure just so I could end that misery," he said, pain mirroring his voice.
Jiang Yue's eyes widened at the implication of my words. Then, he bit his lips. Shen Yi Mu knew that habit. Jiang Yue always did that whenever he's trying to stop himself from crying.
"I- I'm sorry."
This time, Shen Yi Mu was the one who took a deep breath to calm himself down. Being antagonistic towards Jiang Yue wouldn't help anyone. "Can you tell me the reason why you thought that way?"
The other broke up with him and promptly disappeared because he thought that it was the best decision for the both of them. But surely, Jiang Yue didn't arrive at that decision just with no rhyme or reason. Something must have happened that led him to think that way.
And that's what he wanted to find out. No, he needed to know what that reason was.
"I--I don't know where to start," Jiang Yue said shaking his head.
Shen Yi Mu stared at the other. Jiang Yue's shoulders were shaking. Clearly, he was scared out of his wits. Shen Yi Mu couldn't bear to see him like this and almost blurted out that there's no need for him to say anything. That whatever he did, he would understand.
But Shen Yi Mu couldn't do that. If there was hope for the two of them to start over again, then all the misunderstandings should be cleared right now. So, he said;
"You can start from the very beginning. From the reason why you suddenly broke up with me." He then put his hand on Jiang Yue's hands that were tightly clasped together on top of the table. "It's alright, Ah Yue. There is nothing to be afraid of."
Jiang Yue didn't respond but the expression on his face was enough answer. The other obviously believed the opposite. In his mind, there was probably a lot to be afraid of.
Shen Yi Mu no longer knew what to do. He was at the point where he was already considering whether he should just not ask and just let Jiang Yue kept whatever secret he might be hiding. But he knew that he couldn't. So, instead, he waited again.
Seconds had gone by and minutes passed, but no words came out from Jiang Yue's mouth. Silence pervaded the room once again.
But as if he finally mustered the enough courage, Jiang Yue spoke and said in a trembling voice, "T-that day when I broke up with you, I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."
Shen Yi Mu felt like he was hit by lightning after hearing that. "What...?"
"I- I didn't know what else to do. I just--"
Before the other could finish, Shen Yi Mu had already stood up and pulled Jiang Yue into his arms. "How could you choose that? You should have told me the truth instead of breaking up with me! I should have been there by your side! Do you think I wouldn't be able to handle the news? Or do you think I would have left you in the long run? Was that it?"
Jiang Yue shook his head. "No, I know you would have stayed with me unconditionally. But I couldn't let you do that. I couldn't let you waste your life on me. All I could think about was that I would d-die and I would leave you alone. So, before that could happen, it's better for me to just disappear from your life. It's better for you to just hate me that to see me slowly die. That's why I made that decision."
Shen Yi Mu closed his eyes tightly. The moment when he heard the words 'pancreatic cancer', he felt like his whole world just quaked and trembled. It's like it was slowly crumbling in front of his eyes.
He knew that cancer type was one of the most fatal one out there with a very, very low percentage of survival. He couldn't imagine a fraction of what Jiang Yue must have experienced battling this disease. And he was all alone doing that.
Shen Yi Mu should have been there. He should have been Jiang Yue's mental and emotional support. He wanted to rage at the other, to ask him if he had so little faith in him. But he couldn't, for the life of him, make this all about himself. Because it's not. It's about Jiang Yue.
About his fight against this disease. About how brave he was to face it all alone. The fact that he was standing right in front of Shen Yi Mu right now meant that he was the winner of this battle. He survived against something so formidable.
At the end, Shen Yi Mu could only hold the other tighter. Silently thanking the heavens for not taking Jiang Yue away and Jiang Yue, himself, for not giving up.
And as he did, tears slowly fell from his eyes.