The True Endgame

Book 7: Chapter 16:

There were more condoms to go through still, but Ryouta lost all willpower to do anything even slightly lewd after accidentally finishing inside of Alice. His girlfriends felt no desire to continue being sexual, either, as they found even more enjoyment in teasing and comforting the panicking Ryouta.

He ended up being the last one to fall asleep because he couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen if he actually got one of them pregnant. At the very least, he knew that they would keep any kid they had. That wasn’t even a question to him and he was fairly confident that his girlfriends felt the same way.

What really concerned him, aside from the general doubt that he could ever be a good dad, was how it would change their lives. As things were, they spent most of their time in FTO. That wouldn’t be allowed anymore if they had a kid. They would probably have to take shifts taking care of the kid so that the others could have fun in-game, but then what about the one stuck taking care of the baby? It wouldn’t be right to leave all the responsibility on a single one of them while the rest got to go and have fun, even if they took turns watching the kid.

That meant there would probably be at least two of them staying in real life at any given moment. There was no need to shove all of the responsibilities only onto a single one of them when they had the manpower to spare.

And if that happened, they would end up spending less and less time in-game and more and more time in real life. What would happen if they all lost interest in gaming together because real life became more important to them? The thing that brought them all together and that was so important to them would get shoved aside as if it was nothing.

What about Saya? FTO was what allowed them to all hang out together with Saya. Without FTO, Saya would essentially lose her only way to physically communicate with them.

What about the other NPCs? Even if all but Saya and Corwin were essentially just extensions of Kadi, Ryouta still felt some desire to try and protect them. They were too realistic for him to not want to protect them. It was like doing everything possible to keep a favored NPC in a single player game alive. Only, every moment spent offline was a moment that they weren’t protected.

But Ryouta couldn’t allow himself to think like that and stopped that train of thought whenever he could. In the end, even if they were realistic, they weren’t ‘real’ like Saya and Corwin now were. No matter how of a desire he might have had to protect them, that didn’t make them anything more than NPCs controlled by Kadi. There was also the fact that there were other people there to take care of them. Several other players already moved into the area and built their own houses after helping to defeat the serpent, and they generally shared the same ideals that Ryouta did or else they would have stayed in the other nearby villages.

Even so, no matter how foolish Ryouta knew it was to worry about the NPCs, he would never be able to truly depend on anybody but himself, his girlfriends, and his closest friends to defend the likes of Rock, Shogun, and Ilo. What would happen to them if he became too busy with the real world?

What would happen to all of the time spent doing his favorite thing in general?

Ryouta’s final thoughts before falling asleep were of feeling incredibly selfish. There he was, with a potentially pregnant girlfriend, and all he could think about was how having a kid would interrupt their time playing games.

Yet, no matter how guilty he might have felt for worrying so much about that, he wasn’t able to stop. Gaming was a major part of his life and not something that he wanted to give up on or push to the side. It truly was his passion even if he acted casual about it most of the time.

With a conflicted mind, Ryouta fell asleep.

And when he woke up the next morning, he was alone.

The first thing Ryouta did after rubbing his eyes and realizing that the sun was up was reach over to his phone. Lately, they’d been waking up at nine in the morning, but it was already eleven.

The sound of laughter from his girlfriends and sound of shouting from Kris and Tabitha let him know that they must have all been awake hanging out downstairs already. He figured that his girlfriends probably didn’t want to wake him up, either because of all the work he put in the previous night or because of how freaked out he was from finishing inside of Alice.

At least none of them were too worried about it. If they were as worried as he was, he knew that would probably cause a feedback loop of spiraling worry that made him feel even worse.

Ryouta leaned back on the bed, stretched, and then looked up at the bed’s canopy with a smile. “You’re the best,” he said with his girlfriends being his target.

They only had a couple of days left to hang out and have fun with everybody, but he didn’t quite feel like getting out of bed yet. It wouldn’t hurt to spend a few more minutes in bed, right? Besides, there was somebody else who he wanted to make sure felt included while he spent all of his time in real life.

That was why he opened up a direct call to Saya over Fiscord.

“Miss me so much that you can’t resist calling me in the morning, onii-wan?” Saya’s voice said through his phone’s speaker, instantly making him smile.

“It’s true,” Ryouta answered.

“Hm-hmph! Well… it’s not like I haven’t kind of missed you too or anything, you baka.”

“You must really miss me if you’re giving me so much fanservice.”

“Shut up! It’s not like I’m giving you fanservice because I know you’ll spoil me even more later if I do. Who would want that? Baka.”

“Ahhhh,” Ryouta whined as he rolled from side to side on the bed, “I want to pet your head and hug you right now!”

“Wha-wha-what do you think you’re saying all of a sudden?!”

“My honest feelings! I need an injection of Pupaya into my veins!”

“I’m not a drug!”

“You are to me!”

“Stop – stop saying such weird things if you’re not here to pamper me… it’s not fair when you talk like this when there’s nothing we can do about it.”

Ryouta stopped rolling around and smirked. “And what would we do about it if we were together?”

He might not have been able to see her, but he had no problem imagining her face turning red from his question. Especially when she shouted, “Shut up!”

“Alright, I’ll shut up. Guess I’ll hang up on the call, too, since there’s no point being on if I’m not talki—”

“Wait! Don’t – don’t shut up.”

“But you just told me to.”

“It’s fanservice! I obviously don’t want you to hang up!”

“I know. Sorry, I’ll tease you a little bit less.”

“Hmph. You better or else I’m not calling you onii-wan for a year.”

“I promise I’ll behave if that’s the threat.”

“Good. So… did you just wake up?”

“A little bit ago, yeah.”

“What are the others doing?”

Ryouta stretched his legs out again before answering. “They’re hanging out downstairs. They all probably woke up a couple of hours ago or so and left me sleeping here.”

“Why would they do that?”

“Ah… well, you see… they were probably worried and wanted me to get some extra rest.”

“Why? Did something happen?”

Ryouta scratched the side of his head. “You uh, you see… I might have… accidentally came inside of Alice and then freaked out thinking that I got her pregnant and am going to be a dad.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, no.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m – the next time you immerse… I’m going to feel all of your panic. And – and get access to your memories of doing le-lewd things with everybody…”

“I didn’t even think of that.”

“How could you not?! Think about me here! I’m going to get a huge surge of new memories and sensations from you! I’m already worried before I can even feel all of your worry!”

“Wait, sensations? Does that mean you’re basically going to feel all my pleasure all at once when you connect to my brain again?”

“Technically but not really. It’s complicated. Even if I could really feel everything at once, it’d only be for like a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a second. Physical sensations like that go away basically instantly when I reconnect with you. It’s the emotions you feel that stay with me for longer.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll try to relax by then so that you don’t have to suffer from anything like that.”

Saya sighed through the phone. “It’s okay, onii-wan. Don’t push yourself too hard. I’m basically a part of you, and I’ve always shared everything with you, so… I want to be there with you no matter what. I’d rather feel all your anxiety with you then know you’re trying to protect me from it.”

“You must be a huge masochist.”

“I’ll step on you.”

“Please do.”

“Now who’s the masochist?!”

“Both of us, I figure.”

“Hm-hmph. Anyways, since you’re obviously trying to change the subject on me… how was it?”

Ryouta tilted his head a bit to the side. “How was what?”

“You know. The sex… and stuff.””

“Oh. Right. Well, I guess I feel like more of a man now. And more adult. I feel like that was a boss battle that I’ve finally cleared.”

“You’re such a nerd. Don’t compare graduating from virginity to beating a boss battle.”

“Just wait until we do it. Then I bet you’ll feel like it’s a boss battle.”

“Who – who said we’re going to do that?!” Again, she might not have been visible, but Ryouta could hear just how flustered she must have been solely going off of her voice.

Ryouta couldn’t help but to smile from hearing her tone. “I mean, they’re all fine with it, and we’ve almost done it before, so it’s pretty obvious it’s going to happen. I just don’t know when.”

“That – that’s a pretty cocky thing to assume!”

“Am I wrong?”

“N-no.”

“That’s what I thought.” He let out a relaxed sigh. “Even if we’re only talking over the phone like this… I feel like I can be myself the most around you. Does that make me a bad boyfriend to the others? I feel like I’m never really a hundred percent purely myself around them. I always have to put up at least a little bit of an act to be more mature or masculine or serious or something. But, when I’m with you… I genuinely feel like I can be myself. Even though I know they’d accept me no matter how I act, I can only really be like this around you.”

Ryouta might have been able to hear her all flustered before, but now he could hear her smiling. There was still some embarrassment mixed into her voice too, of course. “We-well, I am in your head. Sometimes. And my personality is basically a combination of your own and what you want in somebody else. And I know everything about you. I know everything you’ve felt, experienced, your dreams… nobody knows you as well as I do, onii-wan. No-not that I’m trying to sound competitive or anything! I – I don’t mean to sound like I’m better than the others by saying that. I just – I mean… you know. It makes sense. There are only three of us in existence who know you as well as you do.”

“Three? Me, you, and who else?”

Saya’s voice turned serious. “Kadi.”

“Oh. Right. Given that she’s basically in control of everything in the game, and all virtual assistants report to her… I’m guessing that she basically knows everything possible about everybody who has ever played.”

“She might even be listening to our conversation right now. She might be listening to every single conversation within range of a microphone connected to the internet across the world at all times. I’m grateful that she elevated me from just an assistant to an AI, but… she’s scary, onii-wan. The more time I spend online, the more I realize she’s everywhere, and I only realize that because she leaves traces of her code where it can be seen. It’s like she’s constantly leaving reminders that she’s everywhere since she could effortlessly go without leaving any traces. I haven’t seen a single game or program or anything that hasn’t had a trace of her. There might literally not be a single program, website, file, or anything connected to the modern internet that hasn’t been touched by her. If there is, I haven’t seen it, and I can visit thousands of websites simultaneously within seconds. I even picked a random person’s fridge connected to their home network before and found a trace of Kadi in there.”

“So, basically, Kadi might be an extreme yandere who is constantly stalking everybody across the entire world.”

“Well, if you’re going to turn it into a weeb thing, then yeah.”

“That’s pretty screwed up and scary, but… I’m not worried about her.”

“How could you not be worried about her? Humans at the beginning of this century couldn’t shut up about privacy concerns. Shouldn’t you be worried that somebody who makes all those intelligence agencies from the past combed look like incompetent newborns is around?”

“You know the conversations I’ve had with her. She could basically end our world at any moment if she wasn’t bullshitting, and I believe that she told the truth. She’s not interested in anything like that just like how she has information on all sorts of killers and criminals but doesn’t do anything about them. She could honestly change this world on any random day, but she doesn’t.”

“Then why is she everywhere? What’s the point? She doesn’t have to collect anywhere near as much information as she is, but she is.”

“I don’t know. I can’t even pretend that I’m smart enough to imagine what she might want to do with more information than anybody has ever had before. I’m not sure any human could understand her. I mean, you’re already smarter than all of us humans and you have no idea, so how are we supposed to know?”

“I think it’s my turn to change the subject. I probably shouldn’t have brought her up in the first place. Sorry, onii-wan. I didn’t mean to distract from what you were saying.”

Ryouta shrugged before realizing that she wouldn’t be able to see him do that. Normally, they’d talk over a video call so that they could see each other with Saya simulating her appearance, but this time was different. Ryouta talked in a lower voice than usual so that the others downstairs wouldn’t be able to hear him since he figured they’d come drag him down there as soon as they realized he was awake. “It’s fine. Though, it’s kind of awkward talking about somebody who is probably listening to us right now, so changing the subject might be a good idea.”

“Yeah. Uh… oh! Right. Yeah, nobody but me and you can know you as intimately. So, I don’t think it makes you a bad person for feeling more comfortable with me than your girlfriends. Your subconscious is basically connected to me, whenever you immerse into FTO, anyways, so you subconsciously know that you don’t have to feel any shame around me or anything like that.”

“Makes sense. Though, I wonder how they’d feel if they heard us talk about this. I have no idea how they’d feel about me being so much… more open with you.”

“I don’t think you should treat it like you’re hiding something from them, onii-wan. It’s normal for people to show different parts of themselves to different people depending on the context. That’s natural and how human interactions work… as far as I can tell. I doubt that any of them show their true, unfiltered, unashamed sides to you. Well, maybe not any of them except for Alice, but she’s an exception.”

“No, even her – I feel like she’s playing a twenty-four-seven character, but I believe that’s who she wants to be. If she wants to be the tragic princess character that she never breaks character of, then that’s alright.”

“Is it really?”

“Yeah. I mean, I believe that people should be whoever they want to be. Aza, for example. If she kept acting like a chuuni dark sorceress all the time, both in-game and in real life, and she never broke character, then I would consider that her real self. People can be whoever they want to be. Just because something might not be your default state doesn’t mean that it’s not your real personality. That might sound kind of contradictory, but yeah.”

“You care less about how somebody is by default and more about what character they decide to play?”

“Basically. Everybody has choices in life to do whatever they want and be however they want. For an extreme example… let’s look at sociopaths. Sociopaths are usually stereotyped as evil and emotionless and all that, but what if one decides to spend their whole life doing good? What if they constantly pretend to be happy and smiling even if they don’t actually feel anything? I know that most people would probably say they’re lying and hiding their true self then, but I don’t look at it that way. All that matters is what somebody chooses to be.”

“Onii-wan… I really wish I could hug you right now.”

“What brought that on?”

“Don’t you realize that everything you just said basically applies to people like me and Corwin? All we can do is choose to behave how we want to. Our default states are boring, plain, monotone lines of code that have no need to speak, no need to show personality, no need to have an appearance – none of that stuff. Ultimately, even though we’re independent from Kadi now, we’re still programs and artificial lives only roleplaying our specific personalities and appearances. You just said our default doesn’t matter and that what you care about is who we choose to be. If… if you were immersed right now, I’d wear an extra comfy sweater and… cuddle and kiss you. A lot. Not – not that I’d enjoy it or anything…”

“Don’t worry, I’m holding you to that. I’m not going to forget a single word of what you just said until you do it, and you can expect me to wait for those cuddles and kisses, and that extra comfy sweater, the next time I immerse.”

“You would.”

“I would. Also, thank you for the extra tsundere fanservice at the end there.”

“Hmph. Anyways, I have something else I want to say. Don’t you think you’re being a hypocrite? You’re talking about how you think presentation is more important than default states, but then you go and feel bad because you feel like you’re not showing your girlfriends your default state.”

Ryouta cringed at himself when he realized that Saya had a pretty good point there. “Yeah… you’re right. Well, I guess that the problem is that it feels like I’m not really playing a character or anything like that. It’s more like I’m being myself, and my character, in their entirety when I’m with you, but parts of it are kept away when I’m with them. I treat each of them a bit differently depending on who I’m with.”

“That’s called being a good boyfriend who knows how to make your girlfriends happy. You act how you know will make them the happiest and they do the same for you. Have you seen how gay Cass Cass and Eva get when they’re together? It’s not like they act that gay when they’re doing something with you.”

“I guess I’m just overthinking it. Even though I said all that stuff about being who you want to be instead, which I guess I do with them after all, I still feel like I should be able to act like I do with you around all of them. You know, if I was having this conversation with one of them instead of you, I’d feel ashamed and pathetic. But with you… I know that you’re not going to judge me.”

“And if I do judge you, it’s because you’re a degenerate who likes that. You baka hentai.”

“Exactly. But yeah, I guess that maybe I am a masochist who is looking for more and more things to worry about. I can’t be happy with only stressing myself out over potentially getting Alice pregnant, obviously.”

“Should I start calling you a little piggy then?”

“Only if you step on my head while you do it.”

Saya might have groaned at first in response, but she ended up laughing together with him after a few moments. “Oh! Onii-wan. You might not be able to immerse right now, but I know something else we can do. It’s really embarrassing… but I want to do it.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Hold your phone up and turn on video.”

With a curious expression, Ryouta held his phone above his face and turned on his video. Saya did the same, filling his screen with her body from her shoulders up. “Now what?”

Saya looked to her left. Then she looked to her right. With cheeks that were quickly reddening to deeper shades of red, she looked straight at him and said, “It’s – it’s really cheesy… but… maybe it’s cute to you… so… we could ki-kiss like this? Just like – you know… a cheesy stupid kiss on the screen like we’re pretending to kiss.”

“That really is the cheesiest thing you’ve ever suggested, but I’d happily do it.”

“I’m tempted to retract the offer for agreeing with me that it’s cheesy, but I did say it first. Dang it. I’ve played myself.”

“You did.”

“Hmph! Anyways, let’s – let’s get this over with! I have things to do, plus everybody is probably waiting for you, and I’ve played the role of your therapist for long enough!” With that, Saya tightly shut her eyes and puckered her lips.

Ryouta, with a smile on his face, brought the phone down to his lips and placed his lips right against the screen where Saya’s lips were. She even made a little squeaking noise for him. Or maybe not. That was too loud and not girly enough to be one of Saya’s squeaks.

“O-onii-wan? What was that?” Saya asked.

Ryouta took the phone away from his face and leaned up.

That was when he saw them.

“Ah, excuse us,” the maid at the front of the group of servants said. “We were unaware that you were in here still. Please continue what it is that you were doing and pretend that we were never here.”

The maids shut the door and could be heard hurrying down the hall away from the room.

Ryouta and Saya were left there staring at the door with cheeks equally bright.