Chapter 181
Chapter 181
It was a good idea for Lysia to go west. As Lysia said, the beginning of the harvest was an important time.
It is as important to fill the warehouse as it is to distribute grain. Now is the time for the real work to begin, so it would be better to have someone trusted watching over.
Nevertheless, Artizea could not easily say so.
Lawrence was expected to leave the capital. So she didn’t have to let Lysia go.
But Cedric looked at Lysia and said.
“You think you should?”
“…… Yes.”
“You are not someone who does meaningless things.”
Having said that, Cedric looked at Artizea again.
When he said that, Artizea couldn’t say no.
As Cedric had said, there was no way that Lysia would have said such a thing for nothing.
And if Lysia thinks that’s a worthwhile job, she deserves to be let go.
“Do that.”
Artizea took a deep breath and answered.
“Take about anything you need. You can come back whenever you want.”
“I am not going anywhere forever, I am going to do the work entrusted to me. As soon as I get there, I’ll figure out the situation and report back to you.”
“Alright.”
Artizea nodded her head.
After a moment’s hesitation, Lysia looked at Cedric. Cedric waved his palm lightly.
That meant she didn’t have to return the gun.
Lysia understood the meaning and nodded her head. And she bowed again and withdrew.
She closed the door and let out a long sigh.
In time, everything will be fine. But for now, she wanted to rest her mind a little, leaving everything to Cedric and doing what she wanted.
＊＊＊
Artizea did not understand Cedric’s gesture. She glanced, wondering what that meant, but Cedric said something else.
“Lysia will do well.”
“Yes.”
“Isn’t she sent because she is needed in order to maintain the hospitality of the West?”
“Yes……. It is highly likely that next year will be dry, so I want to stock up on grain this year and read through it before the public sentiment becomes atrocious.”
“Lysia is the right fit. It’s something she wanted to do for herself.”
Cedric put down the pen he was holding and turned towards Artizea.
And he said,
“It’s something we’ve been working on together, and I’ll thank you for giving me the opportunity to prepare for a disaster.”
“…….”
Artizea did not readily answer. And she hesitated, and she looked down at only her fingers.
Cedric wiped his face once with his palm.
And opened his mouth.
But Artizea spoke first. She had her head down, so she didn’t see what Cedric had on his face.
“I have to tell you, there is something I haven’t told you yet.”
“Tell me.”
“It was Lysia’s will. …… She wants me to tell you that she lived with no regrets…….”
Her breathing was shaky and she could hardly speak.
It was almost 10 years ago. And now it is gone.
Still, that day’s voice resounded in his ears.
[“Subtract as much weight as mine from the burden you are carrying.”]
Had Lysia known how heavy it was, she wouldn’t have said that.
At first she was just a saint to be exploited. She was just like everyone else.
Once her outer shell was peeled off, she thought that beneath the shell would be nothing more than an ugly, ordinary human.
But after she got to know Lysia, her days grew heavier.
After Lysia’s death, it became such a burden that she could not escape.
Nothing like her own life could have been able to replace Lysia’s life.
In the first place, Lysia’s death and her own death had never been at a crossroads.
But she never escaped from the thought that she should have died, not Lysia.
Cedric pulled Artizea’s wrist. Artizea was taken helplessly and put in his arms.
“Did you still have that in your heart?”
“However…….”
“Lysia is alive.”
Cedric lightly stroked her hair.
“And she wouldn’t have really regretted it. I know, apart from the grief and sorrow I felt at losing that child……, that, no matter how hard it was, no matter how painful it was, even if she did not achieve what she wanted, she would have thrown her whole life away so that she would not have any regrets in her life.”
And Lysia did not fail.
When Artizea wept, Cedric knew it.
She must have had no regrets when she closed her eyes.
Artizea held her breath.
She was comforted to the point of tears. But at the same time, the warm affection in Cedric’s voice made her heart pound and beat.
Cedric placed his hand on Artizea’s chin. Her head, which had been bowed down, naturally lifted upwards.
Cedric sighed a little.
It was not easy for him to say such a thing.
“I think you’re misunderstanding, so I’m just saying this.”
“What…… ?”
“I never thought of Lysia as a woman. I’ve been watching her since she was too young to do that. Lysia will not consider me more than her brother.”
Artizea sat quietly on his lap. But her muscles were pulled so tight that her whole body jumped up.
Cedric laughed as if it was ridiculous.
“Why are you surprised? From a standpoint like mine, isn’t it more rare to have a non-political marriage? Would it be surprising that we offered a contract to impersonate a love marriage with the intention of causing a stir?”
“But the other person is Lysia.”
“It is not a marriage alliance between powers, but it was decided because the circumstances matched. If it was Lysia, she was someone I could count on.”
The marriage was not a bad plan.
If anything happened to Cedric, she would have been able to lead Evron if it was Lysia.
Conversely, if there was even the name Grand Duchess Evron attached to her, the temple would not have been able to wield Lysia at will.
There were several more practical reasons.
Lysia did not want to receive financial support from the temple. Because she wanted to be free.
Cedric wanted to hand over the property in the Central and East to Lysia. But even if he gave it all, the name of Barony Morten could not protect it.
Even if manpower was used to solve the problem with property, reliable force could not be easily obtained. The area in need of a saint was mainly because of poor security.
Both power and force were needed to control the situation.
And there was also the risk that Lysia was a young and beautiful woman. There were not a few nobles who coveted her.
Cedric was determined to support Lysia, but he couldn’t pour his favor on her without a good cause.
So he concluded that it would be better for her to just get married. Then it won’t look weird no matter what he does.
And Lysia could protect herself and use his resources without Cedric’s concern.
The name Grand Duchess Evron could be a suitable fence for Lysia.
In addition, Cedric himself was able to get away with talking about marriage.
“It was a careful decision. You would have known better than me what the security and benefits of that marriage would be.”
Cedric said.
“But for me personally, it didn’t matter whom I trusted.”
If it was Lysia, they would be able to lean on each other and live. He was convinced that she could be of assistance to his work, and that she was worthy of the title Grand Duchess Evron.
But he did not accept it as his own marriage.
If it weren’t with the woman he loved anyway, she’d be like everyone else.
Artizea realized the meaning and stammered.
“No, but……. You loved her?”
It must have looked that way. She had no doubts.
It could never be said that the misunderstanding was a small part of Lawrence’s madness.
It still is. Even then, she doesn’t doubt that he loved her.
But even though she was determined to believe, what she believed to be true did not go out of her mind in an instant.
Cedric sighed.
“Affection and love are not synonymous, and faith and devotion are not always accompanied by passion.”
“However…….”
“It is true that I believe in Lysia. At that time, I would have been willing to give my life if Lysia needed it.”
Now, it was a little different. He still trusted and cherished Lysia, but could not give his life.
The position of the beloved husband and father was only hers and their child’s.
But then it was like that time.
“Because I lost so many things. And I thought I’d rather just end it than lose another. And I believed that I could achieve something with my life as a footstool.”
In the end, the opportunity never came.
Cedric thought that he was lucky and sometimes he felt sad.
He had both a desire to be at ease by handing over his burdens to Lysia, and a desire to make her feel comfortable.
It was comradeship, and it was also familial love. These were the emotions that came from sharing the heavy responsibility and sadness.
And empathy never went beyond that. Because he was already in love with someone else.
He was not adept enough to turn a mind once inclined and pour it out on another.
Artizea couldn’t utter negative words. She drew her body, holding her breath.
She tried to lower her head back, but Cedric wouldn’t allow it.
There was a bitter, faint smile in her eyes.
“You say you are loyal to me, but there are too many things you don’t believe in.”
Saying so, Cedric placed his lips lightly on Artizea’s.
The breath tickled Artizea’s throat. The delicate movement made Artizea’s lips twitch.
Artizea clenched her hand on Cedric’s chest.
But soon the power was released from her hand. Feeling like she was about to crumble, Artizea pressed her hand again and grabbed Cedric’s collar.
Inside the gaping lips, sweet taste lingered.
Cedric covered her cheek with his hand again. Artizea looked up at him with a dazed mood.
Cedric leaned her face against his chest again.
“I’ll be in trouble, so let’s stop.”
“Wh, what?”
Cedric sighed again.
“Please don’t be naive at times like this.”
Artizea bowed her head with a blushing face. It was because she understood.
Cedric…….