Chapter 362: Battle of the Toys (16)
Chapter 362 Battle of the Toys 16
"Achoo!" Xiao Tan’s sneeze... caused his whole person to jump into the air. "What’s going on? Soulie is cursing me behind my back again..."
"Well, someone not only used a common tone to describe what has happened to him but manage to point out clearly who is behind it..." Feng Bujue’s mockery was always ready.
At that moment, they were both standing at one of the corners of the Lego City, waiting for the Musashi Koganei to piece together the Lego vehicle. This was the second time Feng Bujue summoned this fella. The first time was in South Park.
Before he left the sandbox, to not waste the cooldown of the skill, Brother Jue once used this summoning skill then and had some brief communication with this summoned character.
Overall, Musashi Koganei looked like a primary school student from a gag comic. His head was an inverted triangle, with a sharp chin and wide face. He had on a pair of glasses that covered most of his face. His upper body wore a yellow short-sleeved T-shirt, and the lower body was a pair of purple shorts. There were also two red suspenders. A pair of eye-catching red-colored socks were covering his feet and his collar had a green color base tie with a lot of purple polka dots...
The first time he appeared in his source material was... his teacher asked him to write down in name in kanji but he stood up with absolute confidence and said, "I, Musashi Koganei, am a strange primary three student who does not know how to write kanji that has more than six strokes."
But actually... he was a veritable genius. His answer was aimed to get the prejudice, condescension, and hatred from his teacher and classmates... to make other people believe that he was a strange person (a hentai).
Based on Musashi’s own analysis—99 percent of great people throughout history were treated as strange people and ostracized when they were young. Since Musashi’s goal was to become a great person, for that to happen, he would first become a strange person.
Compelled by this logic, Musashi Koganei was unwavering in his journey toward hentai-ness. When he was walking or just standing, his hands would naturally be raised before him like he was about to strike someone at the next moment. When he spoke, he used this weird drawl and would elicit this ’tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk’ chuckle. When he successfully acted weird and caused people around him to roll their eyes or just catch their attention, he would experience a sense of thrill. Sometimes, his body would spin on its own like a car tire...
Mr. Akira Tokiyama once designed a five-level game of hentai-ness in the sixth book of Arale. They were respectively... The stage of Suppaman: Use your brave little pointing finger and poke it inside the butthole of the person next to you; The stage of King of the Jungle, Parzan, open the window and yell out ’Ah’ three times loudly; the stage of Ice Cream: jump around while screaming ’poop, poop’; the stage of Professor Monster: Scream out loud ’combination’ and then crawl into another person’s embrace; The stage of King Nikochan: Stuff balls of cotton into your nose and puff them out. After you have completed all these five missions, you are an ’undeniable’ hentai.
Using this standard... Musashi Koganei was an unsalvageable, uncurable hentai.
In conclusion... this was one hell of a summoned creature. The summoning requirement, of doing ’one strange action’ was quite strange in itself. But other than that, he was of no help in battle because his fighting ability was close to zero. But he was not completely useless, if anything, he was the most useful of all the Level F summoned creatures because Musashi knew how to ’build’ stuff. Of course, his building and inventing ability was far behind Dr. Slump or The Three-Eyed One but compared to those normal fictional characters that dealt with actual science, the things that Musashi Koganei could create were incredibly special.
"Hahaha! Completed!" After twenty minutes of fixing and mixing, Musashi finally completed some strange-looking machinery using Lego Blocks. He announced excitedly, "This is it! Lego Fugu Gladiator!"
"This is the most disgusting looking robot I have ever seen..." Feng Bujue commented, "It looks like some strange creature people have created in the game ’spore’ whose spines are as straight as a rod..."
"Erm... actually before you told me the creature’s spine could be adjusted, I have been making creatures that look like that..." Brother Jue’s comment seemed to evoke some strange memory in Xiao Tan.
"Haha! You must think that the stuff that I have created is very strange! Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk..." Musashi started to slither around like a snake. "My hentai point has risen again! Hahahaha..."
"Hey... this kind of point that only exists in your imagination is meaningless, isn’t it‽" This was the first time Xiao Tan was introduced to this character and undoubtedly, he was shocked. But just as Xiao Tan gave his comment, Musashi turned into a white light and disappeared.
"Eh? What happened? He knows invisibility?" Xiao Tan asked with confusion.
"Nah, the time’s up." Feng Bujue replied and used his finger to point at his knee. "Actually, he should have disappeared four minutes ago. I believe it was the special effect of the embedded alchemical booster that has allowed him to stay longer." He scratched his chin and said out loud, "Theoretically speaking, this effect of ’increase the summoning effect of the player’s summoning skill by a small degree’ should not have just only affected the summoned creature’s staying time. Perhaps Musashi’s fighting ability or inventing ability has gained a certain level of boost but this kind of improvement is not something that we can see with our naked eye."
"No, I think the improvement of his hentai-ness is clearly discernible to me," Xiao Tan said.
Feng Bujue laughed and said, "Alright, back to the topic at hand. Even though now we already possess a Gundam-like robot vehicle, but to pick out Passing Rain and Laughing Soul among the vast army of the Novel is still not something easy to do. Until now, we are still unsure of their mission and postage within the Novel faction, and we cannot even be sure that they have fallen in ranks with Novel. So..."
"They are already heading this way." Suddenly another voice rang out from behind the two players and a third person joined their conversation.
The two players turned around to look and saw a Lego toy. It had the appearance of a bald elder sitting in a wheelchair, wearing a western suit.
"Erm... Professor X?" Feng Bujue asked to confirm.
"Pleasure." Professor X used his incredibly signature and kind tone to reply and said, "Nice to meet you."
"Wait a minute..." Xiao Tan though was thinking fast this time. He leaned over to Brother Jue and whispered in his ear. "Something is not right, this person can read other people’s minds, right... If he has read the Prophet’s mind, then..."
"Professor, if you do not mind me asking, what is your superpower?" Feng Bujue ignored Xiao Tan and asked the professor directly and openly. But to his surprise, the Lego Professor X answered plainly, "I do not have any superpower."
"Huh?" Xiao Tan was caught by surprise. "How is that possible?"
"On the contrary, I believe the professor is telling the truth." Feng Bujue turned his head around to whisper to his teammate. "The toys would not be given psychological superpower like ’reading memory’ or ’mind control’." He shrugged. "Plus, if he really has those powers... it would have been pointless for you to lean in to whisper into my ears because before you even vocalized your thoughts, he would have read your mind already."
"Oh, okay..." Xiao Tan nodded but asked with confusion after a few seconds, "Eh? Then doesn’t that mean professor, you have no fighting ability at all?"
"Haha... knowledge is power. Even though without superpowers, I can still do many things." Professor X said with a smile. "But of course, you can also see me as a normal bald man in a wheelchair."
"No, no, no, I do not mean any offense." The kind Xiao Tan quickly waved his hands to take his words back.
"Hmm, very good." Professor X maintained the kind smile on his face. "Because if you dare to bring up the term ’bald’ or ’wheelchair’, I will have my students press you to the ground and I will use my wheelchair to ride over your head."
"Hey... this man has gone completely over the dark side... and it is very obvious that he cares a bit too much about the fact he has no superpower... And the man himself has said those two words separately twice already," Xiao Tan grumbled under his breath.
Feng Bujue took one step forward and changed the subject. "Hmm... Professor, since you cannot use any telepathic power, then how did you know that ’they are already heading this way’?"
"I was merely here to relay a message from the Prophet." Professor X replied but the next second, he followed it up with a tense, "What! You said you have not seen a handicapped messenger before?" Then he pulled out a gun from his shirt pocket. "Die, you two uncouth little brats!" Then, to everyone’s surprise, the man bounced up from his wheelchair and started to fire random bullets everywhere. Brother Jue and Xiao Tan were as shocked as they could be. They rolled to find cover, hugging their heads, and shielded their bodies.
Thankfully, this ’Professor X’ was a very horrible marksman and none of his bullets met the target. Furthermore, the gun that he used and the bullets that were shot out from the gun were made from extremely small Lego blocks, so they were unable to cause much damage to the surroundings. At that moment, that was a buzzing sound. Then a red flash zoomed in from afar and snatched the gun away from ’Professor X’ and said sternly, "Hey! Stop playing around, Lex Luther (Superman’s nemesis, one of the most classic villains). It is time for your medicine!"
As he spoke, the Lego Flash pressed Luther back onto the wheelchair and pressed a button that was hidden behind the seat. Several Lego straps bounced out from the sides of the wheelchair and strapped the raving madman to the seat, strapping him into place.
"Ah! Let me go! I am Professor X! They are prejudiced against the handicapped! Ah! Ah!" Luther kicked and flailed. He tried his best to struggle loose as he was being dragged away by Lego Flash.
"I am so sorry." Another blue figure appeared before Feng Bujue and Xiao Tan with a speed that rivaled Flash. He was Quicksilver (The son of Magneto, basically the Marvel’s version of the Flash). "Once the medication has stopped, he will suffer from some hallucinations and split personality disorder. Last week, he splashed himself in full body paint to try to pretend to be Kratos but was slammed into a pancake by the Hulk."
"Just why did they send someone like this to act as a messenger..." Xiao Tan could not help but wonder.
"In any case... based on the information given by the Prophet, there are two members from Novel who dare to ignore the patrols of the night security and are fast approaching the Lego House. It is believed that they will be in any minute." Quicksilver said, "The Prophet wishes for you guys to deal with them outside of the Lego House."
"Oh? They have come on their own without invitation." Feng Bujue scoffed coldly. "Humph... They sure are gutsy, these people from the Recon Corps..."
"Just many times you want to make jokes about Sister Rain’s outfit..." Xiao Tan said weakly. Clearly, after the end of the duel at Chang Lin and the two weeks of I Am a Writer, Feng Bujue had made quite a bit of jokes using Passing Rain’s newly bought attire as the material.
"Fine, we will make our move this moment," Feng Bujue said as he jumped into the Lego Fugu Gladiator. He opened the cap that led into the driving capsule. The machine looked like a fugu fish that had grown a pair of long legs. The whole machine consisted of two parts. One was the body (well, for a fish, the head is joined to the body so they count as one) and the other one was the leg (they were tapered and could not be stretched straight and the bone structure was unique and hard to describe). This Lego Fugu Gladiator only had legs and no arms. From the ’I’m done’ that was announced by Musashi, it was not that he did not have time to build the arms but he purposely left the arms out due to his pursuit for the hentai and strangeness...
"Oh, this thing is surprisingly easy to control." Feng Bujue jumped into the driving seat. He realized there were two control sticks and a turning switch. Turned to the left it would be off and to the right, it would be on. And the two control sticks were clearly meant to control the movement of the two legs. As if that was not clear enough, there was a sign that was placed above the control panel that said—movement control system.
Xiao Tan joined Brother Jue inside the Lego Fugu Gladiator. Feng Bujue took the main driver seat, so Xiao Tan took the side driver seat that was further at the back. But to his surprise, when he got in, he gasped, "Hey, why are there so many buttons‽"
"Huh?" When Feng Bujue heard that, he found it unbelievable. In his main control chamber, there were three things that he could control in total, and honestly, there did not need to have anything more than that, so what else could be back there? What could the buttons be for?
"Let me see." Feng Bujue crawled out from his seat, he stepped over the top of the machine and looked into the capsule of the side driver that was situated at the back near the ’fish tail’.
But once he looked into it, he regretted it immediately... Inside Xiao Tan’s cabin, near his eyes and next to both of his sides, there were more than one hundred buttons. Other than that, there were switches, toggles, levers, various lights, signifiers, charts, and so on. The most ridiculous thing was... at a very conspicuous location, there was a button that was contained inside a small glass case. Next to it was the black and yellow symbol for an atomic weapon...
Lastly, on the control panel that was right before the cabin was written the following—weapon system.
"This is really the work of a demented hentai!" Even Feng Bujue could not hold the urge to yell inside himself anymore. "The movement system is simpler than that of a bumper car at theme park, but the weapon system is so advanced that it can rival the General Unilateral Neuro-Link Dispersive Autonomic Maneuver System‽"
"For some weird reason... sitting inside this place, it feels like I can ruin the world by pressing a few buttons..." Xiao Tan commented with his eyes narrowed.
"Hmm... No wait, let me calm down and think about it for a moment... This is a vehicle that is made within twenty minutes using less than a box of Legos. It cannot be that powerful, can it?" Feng Bujue said to himself. "Perhaps... the buttons are just for show. Actually, most of them have useless functions like... a great of the buttons are to adjust the temperature and humidity inside the cabin and only one or two are actually useful weapons."
"Haha... well, you can have fun trying to figure that out..." Xiao Tan said as he pushed open the hatch into the side driver cabin. He stood up and with a pull of his arms, he jumped out and slid into the main cabin. "I will control the movement."
Feng Bujue did not mind it at all. He jumped down from the fish tail and entered the side driver cabin that was filled with adjustable parts. "So be it... Let’s go."
Hearing that, Xiao Tan turned the switch to the side that said on and then he pulled on the stick and controlled the Lego Fugu Gladiator to move forward.
"Hey... it only moves one step if I push it once..." After controlling the machine to move for about ten steps, Xiao Tan realized this very serious problem. "And the speed the machine lifts its legs, and the frequency matches the speed I control the sticks perfectly."
"And what about it?" Feng Bujue asked.
"Using this kind of control method that requires me to push on the stick to move manually, the Stamina Points that it will exhaust is basically no different from me walking with my hands on the ground..." Xiao Tan replied.
"Humph..." Feng Bujue scoffed with condescension. He raised his right hand. "That is because of your lack of experience. If it is me, after years of training as a single man, with just a single hand I can..."
"Hey!" Xiao Tan roared to interrupt the man. "What is there to gloat about with this kind of lewd confidence‽"
...
At the same time, outside the Lego House, on the top of a shelf rack. In the shadow, there was a gleam of calculating eyes. It looked through the scope of the sniper rifle that took aim at the Lego House’s only entrance. This was a perfect sniping spot. It was on the higher elevation, there was no wind, and the distance was not too close or too far. There was not one cover around the entrance of the Lego House. It was a piece of open space. With the aid of the night vision scope, Laughing Soul could see clearly the situation within the glass case, not even a fly (of course, in their current size, a fly would be the size of a large mouse) would escape her notice.
"Now all we need to do is wait..." Passing Rain held the night vision goggles and squatted next to Laughing Soul. This combo of sniper and observer was perfect. Movement outside of Laughing Soul’s scope would be noticed by Passing Rain and so far, they had met no trouble.
"Actually, there’s a chance that they might have left the Lego House and returned to the Classic territory." When Laughing Soul spoke, she kept her eyes on the scope, and other than her lips, the rest of her body was unmoved.
Passing Rain added, "The report we got from the personal guards is timed 1.53 am and so the moment Bujue and Xiao Tan entered the Lego House can be assumed to be around 1.40 am. If they went in there with a mission or to progress the plot, theoretically speaking, they would not have left so soon."
"What if they are like us, and dare to move around across the mall after 1.55 am, ignoring the threat of the night security?" Laughing Soul said, "Then before we arrived, in the window of ten minutes, they have more than enough time to leave this place already."
"Hmm... there are two premises to this being a reality... One, they have completed what they came to the Lego House to do in inhuman speed; two, they still do not wish to meet us in battle." Passing Rain said to herself, "With Bujue’s action style..."
"For the side quest or hidden quest, the leader might temporarily avoid us." Laughing Soul concluded, "And this kind of evasion will not be viewed as AFK-like behavior. It will only be considered a tactical retreat."
"If they have really returned to the Classic territory, then the fact that we are here have put us in a very dangerous position," Passing Rain said.
Laughing Soul let out a long sigh. "I have already considered that. The night patrol ends their shift at around 2.15 am. From then onward, we will wait for another fifteen minutes, if they two still do not appear by 2.30 am, or we are discovered by hostile toys during that period, then we will swiftly retreat to meet up with our reinforcement and see what we can do from there."
At that moment, when the girls were analyzing and discussing their plan, the boys were inside the strange machine and they were approaching the entrance of the Lego House.
Rat ta ta ta ta ta...
The Lego Fugu Gladiator took huge steps toward the entrance. Xiao Tan who took the main control was worked like a monkey at the circus... Brother Jue, though, was bored out of his mind. He held his cheek with one hand and kept yawning in the side driver cabin.
"Speaking of which, we should have Musashi build us a vehicle that can fly, shouldn’t we? It is much safer to approach the enemy from the sky, after all," Xiao Tan complained through heavy gasps for air.
"If you wish to say that... It be much easier if we just skip through the top of the racks to approach the enemy camp or if I just use Geppo to help you travel to a higher elevation to get close to our target," Feng Bujue said.
"Eh! You have a point there!" Xiao Tan agreed.
"Indeed, I have considered all that." Feng Bujue shrugged. "But in those scenarios, I would be the one who has to work my arse off, wouldn’t it?"
"Huh?" Xiao Tan roared angrily, "So you are doing this on purpose! You’re just making use of me!"
"Au contraire, my little monkey." Feng Bujue placed both of his hands behind his head and leaned back in his chair. "Do not forget that... it was you who volunteered to control the machine’s movement."
One second later, there was a crisp sound that came from the front. That was probably Xiao Tan giving himself a sound slap.
"There is... something... that has come out..." Laughing Soul suddenly said. Seeing that she did not fire on sight, Passing Rain knew something was off. She immediately picked up the night vision goggles and trained her eyes at the area before the Lego House. When the object entered her field of vision, she put down the goggles... She rubbed her eyes and then put the goggles back before her eyes.
"I am willing to bet one dollar that Bujue is inside that thing." Passing Rain used a cold and level tone to describe this situation.
"That Lego monster is some kind of creation created between those two boys, isn’t it..." Laughing Soul though used a pained tone that expressed her disappointment in the two boys to answer.
"If this is a toy that originally exist in this scenario..." Passing Rain continued, "I cannot imagine it ever selling at all."
"Furthermore, the toys would not have dared to come out like this during the patrol session." Laughing Soul said as she inputted a special bullet inside the sniper rifle. "Now this is interesting... I wonder if they will survive if the vehicle that they are in explodes into smithereens..." Her lips curled into a wicked smirk. The barrel of her gun was taking aim at the Lego Fugu Gladiator’s body.
Bang!
The moment Laughing Soul pulled the trigger, it sounded like thunder booming through the sky, and a bullet shining with a green glow slashed through the air.