128 A man
Malachi went home with a little heaviness and dread this time. He felt like a fool after what he had learned about Ravina. How could he have been so blind to the signs? He had blamed himself so much for missing all those signs with his sister, yet he missed them with his breedmate. She could have jumped off the cliff that day. God, she could have been dead from the attacks he caused.
His heart trembled as his hold on the gift box in his hand tightened. He could have killed his breedmate. He was nauseous by the time he reached home. Breathing in her scent made it worse. He would have never known what she smelled like and it would have all been his fault. He just sat in the hall, his past slowly coming back to haunt him.
Yes, he killed his father but he was late. Very late and it cost him.
“Malachi?”
He looked up, his eyes burning slightly. Ravina stood in the hall, draped in a creamy white gown with golden decorations and matching jewelry. She went back to white, but he had no complaints. He realized it was her color and it was very suitable. Like herself, it was simple, clean, and innocent yet cold, distant, and empty.
This time the gold brought some life into it but no matter what, it had been a while since he saw her in white. It reminded him of his times in the cave, where she came to him like an angel, one to carry out the punishment of his sins. Perhaps that was what she was. A punishment. An awakening. Chanan would call it a consequence. His father would call it nonsense and ask him to take hold of his destiny.
“If you don’t decide your fate, someone else will do it for you,” he would say.
Maybe it was better that way. So far he had only made bad decisions.
Malachi watched Ravina’s feet as she walked closer. She was holding a stick to lean on. Slowly, his gaze followed along her body and reached her face. She wore a frown. “Is something wrong?”
“Why?”
“You look pale.”
Pale?
She sat on the other couch across from him. Her hair fell in shiny waves all the way down to her waist. Her piercing blue eyes studied him closely.
“I am alright,” he replied. “I see you are already dressed.”
“Yes. Can I come with you to the ceremony?”
“Isn’t it a waste to dress first and then ask?”
“Maybe if you see me dressed you won’t deny me and if you don’t take me there, your mother will.”
He raised a brow. “My mother?”
“Yes. She was here and offered to take me but I said I would go with you.”
“Why with me?”
“I just wanted to give you the choice to have good company,” she joked as if she wouldn’t be good company.
She was a confident woman yet she had a negative view of herself.
“If you don’t want to draw attention, I can just go with your mother.” She added.
“No. You can come with me.” He said.
They looked at each other in silence for a moment.
“I had people thank me on the way here for gifting them?” He began.
“Ah… I… I gave out peelers as gifts in your name.”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “People will be more accepting to take it and they will appreciate you.”
“And what will you gain from it?” He asked.
“That people appreciate you.”
They looked at each other in silence again and then her gaze fell on the box in his hand. He looked at it as well. A small square box, wrapped in ribbons of silk and lace.
His gaze returned to her. “I bought a gift for you,” he said feeling unlike himself. He never bought a gift for a woman except for his mother or sister. He placed it on the table between them.
Ravina watched him for a moment and then looked at the box. She reached for it slowly, picking it up she looked at it in her hands.
“You didn’t have to. All I am wearing every day is already from you.”
“Those were not gifts. I can’t let you walk around naked.”
She smiled mysteriously as if thinking of something in secret that amused her.
“No, that wouldn’t be good for anyone.”
She was thinking of his jealousy? “No,” he smiled. It wouldn’t be good for him either to have her walk around naked.
Ravina went ahead to open the box. She lifted the lock and then looked inside. Slowly she picked up one of the two pins he bought her. Her expression changed to something he couldn’t recognize.
She looked at it for a good while before feeling the pattern with her fingers, touching the golden sunflower and its leaves. “A sunflower,” she said with a slight frown.
She glanced his way, her eyes colored with emotions. “Do you like sunflowers?”
“I just found them beautiful,” he said unsure what it was about the sunflower that made her emotional. “Don’t you like it?”
“I do,” she said looking at it again. “It is beautiful.” Her mind seemed to wander as she kept staring at it then she pulled herself back.
“You can probably place them better in my hair,” she said, picking the other one as well.
Malachi stood up and walked over. He held his hand out and she placed the pins in them. She turned slightly so he could get to her hair. He picked the light golden waves and her scent filled the air.
Malachi thought his brother Saul always exaggerated about the scent and how much finding his breedmate changed him. The pain of losing her was what held him back and made him tolerate his brother. The unimaginable pain, and it wasn’t only his breedmate he lost, but his child as well. He knew his brother was more haunted than him. Malachi could not imagine anything like it happening to him.
As he gently placed the pins in her hair, he thought of how different Ravina was from how he knew female humans to be raised. They were much more modest, shy, and reserved. They were careful, guarding their virtue and innocence.
They were much more protected from what passed between a man and a woman but Ravina seemed to know a lot more than he expected. She also adjusted to their way of dressing easily and it was much more revealing than how humans dressed. She was bold with her words and sometimes even too bold with her actions for an innocent young woman.
His thoughts went back to this morning. Taking his towel. Really? She surprised him too many times.
When he was done placing the pins to hold the front section of her hair that kept falling down her face, he stepped back. Ravina touched her hair, just to see where he placed the pins.
“Oh, thank you.” She said.
Malachi offered his hand to help her up. She grasped him tightly and pushed herself up with the help of the stick and then sighed. “Will you be alright like this?”
“Yes.”
He released her hand and offered his arm instead. She put her arm through his and they left the house.
Malachi could already hear the preparations, the chatter, and the loud music. He could smell the food that was prepared and the burning wood.
Ravina’s hold on his arm tightened and he turned to her. “Are you in pain?”
“No. I just… maybe we should go separately. I don’t want to cause trouble.” She was about to pull her arm away from his but he put his hand on top of hers and kept it in place.
“You won’t.”
She looked around, as if in search of something but he could hear the change in the rhythm of her heart.
“Ravina?”
She returned her gaze to him.
“It is a mating ceremony. People often go in pairs so don’t worry.” He told her.
She nodded and he led them to where the ceremony would take place. “We will be sitting there,” he told her where his mother already prepared two chairs away from the rest.
“Oh no. I don’t think that is a good idea. People will think that…”
“That I am taking you as my queen?” He finished.
“Yes. Maybe you have decided but we should still be careful.”
Dread filled his chest but it wasn’t him. It came from her and nausea followed. He could sense it, how her body turned cold at the thought.
“It won’t be anything new. I am sure people already have some thoughts.”
She nodded slowly, licking her dry lips. “I hope you know what you are doing.”
He had no clue. For now, he was just following what felt right. For a moment he just wanted to be a man and not a king. A man doing what was right.